Judith was struck by how young and pretty her stepmother looked in this relaxed state. It occurred to her just how remarkable it was that Matilda, at such a young age, had already endured the loss of two husbands.A tragedy, really at any age, but Matilda was not yet forty. In addition, she never had a child of her own, and at this stage, she never might.
“Judith, my dear!” Matilda exclaimed, stepping aside to let her in. “What a surprise! Come in, come in.”
“I beg your pardon. I did not keep you from anything, did I? I saw the light was on.”
“No, not at all. I often do not sleep until the early morning hours. I just got up to make a cup of tea. Would you like one? I’ve made it myself, so I cannot speak for the quality. I do not like to keep the staff up in case I need something, so I dismissed them hours ago,” Matilda said.
Judith blinked, she hadn’t been aware her stepmother was so self-sufficient. Somehow, she’d always looked at her as someone who needed servants for everything.
She entered the cozy sitting room, where the fire crackled warmly in the hearth. As Judith sat, her stepmother poked the fire, adding another log—another activity she’d never seen her undertake.
“How are you, dear? And how was the ball?” Matilda asked, her eyes filled with genuine concern.
Judith spotted a steaming cup on one of the small tables and a book. Was this how her stepmother spent her nights? Reading by the fire? It was peaceful and quiet, and yet the silence in the house invoked loneliness.
Judith took a moment to collect her thoughts. “It was nice,” she replied, her voice soft. “I danced a lot.”
Matilda smiled warmly. “I’m glad to hear that. You deserve some enjoyment. I remember those nights at Almack’s. My feet would hurt so much that I needed to soak them the next day.”
The evening had stirred something within Judith—emotions and reflections on her own desires for freedom and choice. Hearing about Lady Lundgren’s arranged marriage and Aaron’s longing for freedom had made her think of her stepmother.
“I… I’m not sure why I’m here,” Judith admitted. “But somehow, I felt like I should come.”
Matilda’s smile softened at her words. “I’m always here for you, Judith. You know that. Did something happen at the ball?”
Judith nodded, taking a deep breath. “The ball was nice, but there was an incident with a gentleman who tried to ruin me.”
Instantly, Matilda’s expression turned furious. She stood up, her posture rigid with anger. “Who was it?” she demanded. “I will have a word with him.”
Judith felt a surge of warmth at Matilda’s protective reaction. She had never thought of her as a replacement for her mother, but it was clear from her fierce reaction that Matilda saw herself as just that.Judith’s heart filled with warmth for the woman, though at the same time a fierce longing for her mother.
“Please, do not worry yourself. Aaron—the Duke handled it. But in any case, it was a man named Thomas Cornell,” she said quietly. “He tried to warn me about Aaron. You see, his sister and Aaron were once engaged, and he took the end of the engagement rather hard. I told him that I was following my brother’s lead. He was rather upset when he understood I had no intention of listening to him, and thus he tried to ruin me.”
Matilda’s eyes blazed with fury. “How dare he! I will not let this go unaddressed. What would cause such venom from a young man? It is unconscionable.”
“He was upset with His Grace, and I suppose his anger drove him to seek revenge on me… But I… I’d rather not talk about it anymore. It is behind me.” Judith wetted her lips, her thoughts swirling around the events of the evening when she raised her head and faced Matilda. “May I ask you something you might find too personal?”
Matilda’s curiosity was piqued. “Of course, my dear. We are family, you can ask me anything. What is it?” She sat down again, her anger dissipated now that Judith had changed the topic.
Judith hesitated, then asked, “Can you tell me about your first marriage?”
Matilda’s eyebrows shot up, taken aback, but she settled back into her seat. “Of course. What has brought this on?”
Judith took a deep breath. It was time to tell her stepmother what she had learned. Indeed, she would have been wise to open up to her long ago.
“Oliver wants me to get married, and that’s why Aaron—the Duke of Nottingham—has been helping me to make that happen. Oliver tasked him with this before he left because he is eager to see me wed. He told me that my father wrote him a letter in which he conveyed that if he were to die, he’d want Oliver to find me a husband as soon as possible, should I remain unwed. He left us all letters, as you know.”
Matilda’s eyes softened, and her features contorted as the grief she’d suppressed resurfaced. “Judith, you must know this—your father was very worried about your unwed status. He would have protected you always, even if you’d chosen to remain unmarried, but deep down he wished you’d marry someone. Someone you love.”
“That’s what I want too,” Judith confessed, her voice catching. “But it hasn’t happened yet, and I know now that Oliver will force me. He said that’s what Father wrote in his letter.”
Matilda shook her head, her auburn hair catching the light from the fireplace. “Oh, Oliver… No. That’s not what your father wanted, Judith. I know what he wrote in the letter—he showed it to me. I also saw the letter he wrote to you and John. Oliver has misinterpreted the letter’s intention. Your father wanted him to reassure you and help you find a husband, but not by force.”
Judith felt a surge of relief. She’d been so worried that her father thought her a failure that it had weighed on her heavily. “I thought he was disappointed in me.”
“Never. Judith, your father was proud of you. He wanted nothing but happiness for all three of you. He did not believe in arranged marriages after the unfortunate events with your friend, Joanna,” Matilda said, referencing the brief, unfortunate period when the late Marquess had been so desperate that he’d almost agreed to an arrangement with the much, much younger Joanna Blackmore—now the Duchess of Wells. “I hope you did not go around these last few days thinking anything else.”
Judith pressed her lips together, not wanting to look her in the eyes because that was exactly what she’d worried about. Not that she felt bad for doubting her father’s intentions. He’d been a kind, loving man—of course, he would not have wanted to force her into an arranged marriage.
