Aaron nodded, his anger giving way to a deep sadness. “I know,” he said softly. “Oliver told me she got married, but it seems the marriage is not a happy one. She says my breaking our engagement left her with little options. I… I do feel bad. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to be free to make my own choices.”
Judith saw in his eyes that he meant it, and it struck her that he was far more empathic than she’d assumed. She considered his reputation as a rake. She’d assumed the end of his engagement had something to do with his love for debauchery, but it seemed this wasn’t the case.
She narrowed her eyes. Something about Lady Lundgren’s story did not make sense. Even with a broken engagement, she would have been able to secure a good match. She was beautiful, and while a broken engagement could reflect badly, one could still succeed. Judith could have done so herself if she’d wished, but she’d chosen to wait.
There had been offers—goodoffers—but she’d turned them down in favor of love… with her father’s support. So why had Lady Lundgren ended up in a bad marriage?
And Aaron? What were his options? Should he have gone through with the wedding, even though he didn’t want it, just because he made a promise?
This gave Judith pause. She had always longed for freedom and the ability to make her own choices. How could she blame Aaron for wanting the same? Still, the thought of Lady Lundgren’s misery and her brother’s anger troubled her deeply.
“Why did Lady Lundgren find herself in an unfortunate position?” she asked.
Aaron shrugged.“Amelia always dreamed of being a duchess. Many young women do. There are not many dukes in Britain, as you know. I suspect another could not be found and she had to settle with someone else. But it couldn’t be helped. We would have been unhappy and utterly bored, as we had nothing in common.”
He paused and observed her closely. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted to help you, Judith. I don’t want you to end up in a terrible marriage like my parents did.”
Judith’s curiosity got the better of her. “Were your parents very unhappy?” she asked.
Aaron nodded, his expression grim. “Not because they hated each other. They were cordial enough. Alas, they had a boring marriage. They had nothing in common and led separate lives under one roof. They were strangers sharing a house, not partners sharing a life. It was suffocating for them, and it would have been suffocating for Amelia and me.”
Judith looked at him, her mind filled with questions. “Isn’t that what most marriages end up being? Routine?”
At least she had always thought so. Even the best love matches ended up this way, didn’t they?
Aaron shook his head. “It shouldn’t be. A marriage should be a partnership, about sharing lives, dreams, and goals. My parents’ marriage was a cage for both. That’s why I chose not to get married. I’d rather embrace life for what it is than be trapped in a marriage of convenience or convention.”
Judith dropped her shoulders. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she had entertained a fleeting thought—a fantasy, really. But no! She stopped herself.
It doesn’t matter what he wants. It matters what I want, and we are here to make sure I do not end up the miserable one.
She pulled her shoulders back, determination setting in. “Very well. I do thank you for telling me.”
From within, the sounds of the cotillion rose, and she gasped.
“I am to dance this dance!”
“Well, you better find your partner,” he urged with a smile. “I take it you’ve changed your mind about staying?”
Startled, she paused and then recalled she’d demanded to leave. “I suppose I have. You’ve made me understand how important all of this is. I will continue the night as planned.”
Aaron nodded. “Good. Do not let a man like Thomas Cornell stop you. And do not fret, he will not go near you again. I am here, and I will protect you as you do what needs to be done for you to find happiness. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.”
Judith looked at him, her heart full of gratitude. “Thank you, Aaron.”
With that, she rushed out to meet her dance partner, who had already been on the lookout. They stepped onto the dance floor, and Judith did her very best to be charming and personable, but as the night wore on, she found herself scrutinizing each man more closely, considering not just their titles and fortunes but their personalities and interests.
Some were charming, others less so, but none sparked the connection she now realized she craved. Yet, she was determined not to give up. Aaron’s story—and that of Lady Lundgren—had made her understand how important it was to make the right decision not just for now, but for her future.
When the night came to an end and her feet ached from dancing, she and Aaron parted ways, each heading to their respective carriages with a promise to meet one another again in two days, so he could help her practice polite conversation during a dinner setting—something else she’d not done in a long while.
It had been a long night, but Judith had to admit that despite her inner turmoil, being out and about with Aaron had been a change of pace—and one she could get used to. At least for the time being.
CHAPTER 12
As she approached Worcester House, Judith noticed that the light was on at the dower house. She alighted from the carriage and headed that way. She hadn’t visited the dower house in some while, not since she’d helped her stepmother move into it weeks ago, but tonight she could not stop herself from walking the few paces to the small structure and knocking on the door.
She’d expected the butler or a maid to answer, but to her surprise, it was Matilda herself who answered, looking surprised but pleased to see her.Her auburn hair was down, cascading over her shoulders, as she had clearly settled in for the night.
