“It may not have been what he wanted, but that’s how Oliver took it, and now I’m stuck. I’ve even been considering a gentleman just to appease him. I met Lord Pembroke tonight, someone I thought was charming, and I’m considering courting him, though it’s not what I want.”
Matilda’s expression grew thoughtful. “I’m familiar with Lord Pembroke. He is nice enough to talk to, but he has a roving eye. Be cautious with him.”
Judith felt a knot of frustration tightening in her chest. Of course, there was something the matter with the man. Althoughthe odd thing was that her thoughts instantly drifted to Aaron. Hadn’t he said Lord Pembroke was a good choice? Did he know about this roving eye? Or had he not been around Lord Pembroke long enough or often enough to notice this?
“Thank you for telling me, but, Matilda, what if I can’t find anyone? What if I’m forced into a marriage I don’t want?”
Matilda reached out, taking Judith’s hands in her own. “If that happens, I will speak to Oliver myself and make sure he does not force you into marriage. And if he persists, you can move out and stay with me here at the dower house.”
Judith chuckled softly, the tension easing slightly. “That’s not a very far escape. I can see the dower house from my chamber.”
Matilda smiled, her eyes twinkling. “That makes it more convenient. But on a serious note, by law, the dower house is mine, and your father provided for me handsomely by way of jointure. As you know, jointure is a financial arrangement made for a widow, ensuring she is well looked after. I have enough to support us both. You will be looked after one way or the other.”
Judith felt a wave of relief wash over her. “Thank you, Matilda. I needed to hear that. Although I do hope I won’t have to make use of your kindness.”
She knew she was truly blessed by the women in her life. Her stepmother’s kind offer followed on the heels of Joanna and Rosy’s offer to have their husbands speak to Oliver on her behalf.She had people on her side, that she knew. And yet it wasn’t over. Not by far.
Matilda squeezed her hands reassuringly. “You are not alone, Judith. Your father wanted you to find happiness, not to be forced into something that doesn’t bring you joy. You see, you asked about my first marriage. I was forced into it. I was miserable. Every. Single. Day. It is not the Christian thing to say, but it was a relief when he departed this world so young. It allowed me to breathe.”
Judith looked at her with curiosity, for such talk was rare among their peers.
“Your father knew this, and combined with his own experience with the Duchess of Wells, he became determined not to make you do anything against your will. A marriage based on love is the only kind that can truly endure, I am certain of it. Though I did not get the chance to truly test this, as my poor Marcus…” Matilda’s voice broke, and she looked away to compose herself. “Anyhow, those are my thoughts on the matter.”
Judith sat there for a little while, taking in her stepmother’s words, when she thought back to Aaron’s assessment of marriages earlier at the ball.
“Matilda,” she began hesitantly. “Do you think marriages, even happy ones, become boring after a while? That is what Aaron told me.”
Matilda’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Oh, His Grace has never been in love, that is quite clear. No, dear, marriage can be many things, and boring doesn’t have to be one of them. It depends on the people involved. If there’s genuine affection and shared interests, it can be quite the adventure. I wonder what made him say this?”
Judith pondered this, her thoughts drifting back to Aaron and the conversation they had earlier. “Aaron said that his parents had a boring marriage. He is quite adamant about not getting married. It is why he ended his engagement to Lady Lundgren, among other things.”
Matilda nodded slowly. “I see. It makes sense. Seeing a loveless marriage can leave a lasting impression. But it doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind if he finds the right person. I did not want to get married again until I met your father, and the same goes for you. You might be averse to marriage unless you find love, but when you find it, you will see marriage can be a true blessing. You see it in your friends, the Blackmore sisters.”
Judith felt a flutter in her chest, quickly quashed by a surge of practicality. “I just want to make the right choice, not only to please Oliver but for my own happiness.”
Matilda smiled warmly. “And you will, Judith. Trust your heart and don’t rush into anything. Your father wanted you to be happy, and I believe you will find your way.”
Judith felt comforted by Matilda’s words. With her stepmother’s support, she felt she could face the challenges ahead. Theevening had brought unexpected revelations, but also a renewed sense of purpose. She wasn’t alone in this journey, and that made all the difference.
CHAPTER 13
The early morning mist hung low over the fields as Aaron rode through the countryside, the rhythmic pounding of his horse’s hooves on the dirt path providing a steady backdrop to his turbulent thoughts. The sky was a pale gray, hinting at the sun that would soon rise, but the chill in the air matched the unease in his heart.
He hadn’t slept much, the events of the previous night replaying in his mind like a relentless specter. Seeing Amelia again had been a shock, and hearing about her misery had unsettled him deeply. He had left her years ago, believing it was the right decision for them both. But now, doubt gnawed at him.
Had he made a colossal mistake? Would it have been better to marry her and avoid the pain and suffering she seemed to be enduring? He would have lost his freedom, and surely he’d have been unhappy, but maybe he could have found a way? He could have traveled as he did now, leaving Amelia behind to live a life of her own choosing but with the comfort of his title…
His horse, sensing his agitation, snorted and flicked its ears back, but Aaron barely noticed. His mind was consumed with questions and regrets. Amelia’s bitter words echoed in his ears, mingling with the memory of her brother’s angry accusations.
He couldn’t shake the image of Thomas Cornell’s furious face, nor the terror in Judith’s eyes when he had found her in the garden. Had he really made Amelia so unhappy that her brother was so blinded by rage that he’d tried to take it out on an innocent bystander like Judith? To do what? Get back at Aaron?
The countryside around him blurred as he pushed his horse harder, as if he could outrun his guilt.
As he rode past the edge of the estate, he spotted a familiar figure in the distance. It was Mr. Barrett, the steward who had known Aaron since he was a boy. The older man was inspecting the fields, his keen eyes missing nothing. Aaron slowed his horse and directed it toward the steward.
“Morning, Mr. Barrett,” Aaron called as he approached. “What brings you out here so early?”
“Good morning, Your Grace,” Mr. Barrett replied, tipping his hat. “We’ve had some sightings of boars nearby, and I wanted to make sure the kale crop is safe,” he replied, before tilting his head to the side. “You’re out early.”
