Air. She needed air. Bursting out of the back door she stepped into the garden and ripped her bonnet off, realizing she hadn’t done so when she entered. She waved it in front of her face, desperate for some circulation when the garden door swung open. She took a deep breath for she already knew who would be standing there when she turned.
Leonard.
And in this very moment it took all her strength not to yell at him to leave her alone once and for all.
CHAPTER30
Leonard
Palpitations erratically fluttered through Leonard’s body as he watched Sally retreat into the garden, her rejection echoing in his ears like a deafening roar. He could not shake the sting of her repeated refusals to at least be civil to him. He didn’t mean this when he said he wanted them to lead their lives. Or had he?
The truth was, the more time passed, the more confused he became. How had he imagined things would go? Well, for one, he’d not considered the possibility of having feelings for Sally. Her impact on his life had been more profound than he’d imagined. This would have been much easier if he hadn’t fallen for her.
But he had developed feelings, and he couldn’t deny them anymore. Now, beneath the layers of hurt and frustration, a profound sense of regret lingered. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her.
He knew he had no right to demand her companionship, not after the way he had shut her out repeatedly. But the thought of Sally treating him like a stranger, of seeing the walls she had erected around herself mirrored in her eyes, ignited a fierce urgency within him that overpowered him like an unexpected wave in the ocean.
As he burst into the garden, Leonard’s voice cracked with a raw desperation he could barely contain.
“Sally!” he called again, the sound hanging heavy in the air. He watched as Sally froze, her back rigid, and when she turned, her features were a mask of indifference. Still, even as he felt the heat of her anger radiating off her like a tangible force, Leonard couldn’t tear his gaze away from her.
“Yes, Leonard?” she said, arms crossed in front of her chest, which rose and fell quickly, betraying her agitation.
“Why are you avoiding me?” he blurted out, the words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them. He could hear the hypocrisy laced in his voice. But despite this, Leonard couldn’t silence the ache in his chest.
Sally’s frustration was palpable as she responded. “How can you ask me that? You must know why, Leonard. You’ve been distant and uninvolved even before our honeymoon period expired. I’ve been trying to make things work between us, even just as friends, but you keep pulling away.”
Of course, this was the reason he’d suspected as much. How could he blame her for her reaction? “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Sally’s expression softened slightly. “I know you did not intend this, Leonard. But our thirty days together are over, and as per our agreement - an agreement you yourself insisted upon - we can return to being strangers, a married couple only when necessary,” she said. “You made it clear that’s what you want.”
“I don’t want that,” he said.
“Oh no? It seems we are, Leonard. Is this not what you desired? I do not know what it is you want from me. One moment, you are warm and kind and make me think we might ...” She waved a hand to wipe away the mere thought of their togetherness. “Then you turn and become...This. I can’t do this. Not for my sake and not for yours.”
As Sally stood before him, her defiance palpable in every line of her form, Leonard felt a surge of anguish knotting his stomach. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her.
“Sally, I’m conflicted,” Leonard admitted, his voice shaded with a raw vulnerability he rarely allowed himself to display.
Sally’s eyes blazed with an intensity that took his breath away. “Then leave me alone, Leonard,” she fired back. “I won’t be treated like a toy, to be picked up and discarded at your whim. We are strangers now, and that’s how it will stay.”
“No, we could never be strangers,” he burst out. Leonard’s stomach tensed with a surge of panic, his heart pounding as he realized the depth of his mistake. He couldn’t let her slip away, not when she meant more to him than he dared to admit.
With a sudden surge of purpose, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her toward him, his body crashing into hers as he closed the distance between them. He inhaled her scent, feeling her breath brush over his skin.
His eyes locked on hers, seeing the wonder and surprise. Leonard closed his, and then his lips met hers in a passionate kiss. Her strawberry-scented lips were warm on his, and her body felt vulnerable in his arms. They fitted together perfectly, like two pieces of a dissected puzzle that had been lost just to finally slip into their slots, completing a picture more beautiful than he’d ever imagined.
Sally wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer. Leonard felt a rush of tenderness wash over him, momentarily forgetting the doubts that plagued him for so long.
But as quickly as the moment had come, it was gone, shattered by the weight of his guilt and self-doubt. Shocked at his actions, Leonard pulled away, his eyes filled with remorse as he met Sally’s gaze.
What am I doing? What is wrong with me?
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I can’t do this to you, Sally.”
“What?” she muttered as if she’d just been ripped out of a dream.
“I will leave you be,” Leonard repeated. He spun around and fled, leaving behind a whirlwind of emotions and a heart heavy with regret.
