Taking a deep breath to calm herself, and failing, Alice made her way over to the closest candle to blow it out. The moment she leaned forward, she heard William’s voice. “Have you gotten tired of waiting?”
Alice gasped so loudly she blew out the candle by accident. She looked up to see William standing by the door, still dressed in his dinner jacket and trousers. Given the distance, Alice couldn’t ascertain exactly what his expression was, but it didn’t matter. She was so happy that he had finally arrived that her previous frustration disappeared.
“I didn’t think you would come,” she breathed, stepping a little closer. “You said you would but then you were taking so long that I thought you had lied.”
“I am not spiteful,” William said, his voice not unkind but not very warm either. He too came closer, but headed over to the desk and sat. The several candles sitting on top of the surface made it easy to see his steady expression.
“Yes.” Alice’s nervousness was back. She clasped her hands behind her, not wanting him to see her fiddle with her fingers. “You aren’t. In fact, I think you are the only gentleman who does not possess many bad qualities, other than the most obvious one.”
“I think I am the only man you’ve ever spoken to long enough to even find that out,” he said, his voice low and even.
“How do you know that?” Alice couldn’t help but ask. It was the truth, but one William should not have been so accurate about.
He only shrugged. “Seeing how you reacted when I asked you that question yesterday, it was an educated guess.”
“Ah.” Alice came closer. The distance made her uncomfortable, made her feel as constantly pushing him away had succeeded right when she no longer wanted it to. “Well, you aren’t wrong. I do not have many friends at all, in truth, whether man or woman.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
His clipped words hurt her. Tired of these annoying and conflicting emotions, she decided to simply come out and say it. “I must apologize,” she began. “For my actions yesterday and for how harshly I spoke to you when you did not deserve it.”
William tilted his head to the side, saying nothing. He wasn’t satisfied. A part of Alice couldn’t help but respect that. It was certainly something she would do.
“In truth,” she went on. “I was afraid. When you began asking me all those questions, it scared me to see how tempted I was to tell you everything. We have not known each other for long and yet, you do not feel like a stranger to me. You…you do not feel like a friend either.”
William’s brows furrowed at that but Alice wouldn’t explain it. She could hardly understand it herself. She kept going, not wanting him to ask for clarification on that last bit.
“You’re right in thinking that I have never truly opened up to anyone but my family and…well, that is exactly the reason. Emma is my closest friend and even though my Father frustrates me with his wish for me to marry, I love him dearly. For so long, they have been the only people I needed, so to share pieces of myself to someone else felt…unusual. I wasn’t prepared for it, but that doesn’t excuse the way I spoke to you. You’ve already done so much for me, have already been so kind and open with me that it was very unfair of me to treat you that way.”
Alice didn’t look away from him. She wanted him to see her sincerity, wanted him to know that even if he did not accept her excuse—as sad as it was—she would not fault him. She also needed him to see just how much his acceptance would mean to her.
Slowly, William rested his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers together and hovered them over his lips. It hid half of his face but a spark appeared within his eyes, that humor drifting back into the blue. “I suppose this means I’m rather special,” he said in a light, teasing voice.
Relief rushed through her so forcefully that Alice nearly sighed. She only nodded, smiling at him. “You are,” she admitted. “I am as surprised as you are.”
“If you continue being this nice to me, Alice, I might begin to think you are falling for me.”
I think I already have.
She didn’t dare to the say the words aloud, didn’t dare to let it show on her face. She only rolled her eyes, because she was sure that was what he expected of her. “I take it you are accepting my apology?”
“I accepted your apology the moment you stopped me this morning.”
Alice narrowed her eyes. “Then why did you pretend as if you were still angry with me?”
“I was,” he admitted, leaning back in his chair. “Just a little. I suppose I also liked the fact that you kept stealing glances at me thinking I wouldn’t see it. Ah, it surely makes a man feel appreciated.”
“You are incorrigible,” she sighed.
“And you looked quite adorable just then,” he said without hesitation. Alice’s heart jumped. “You’ve always been beautiful, but it is rather refreshing seeing how cute you can be when you don’t know what to do with yourself.”
“Enough teasing,” she said, a little too sharply. Alice was tempted to take a step back, to retreat into the shadows, so he wouldn’t see her red cheeks. “I haven’t finished saying all that I wanted to.”
William grinned, as if he knew what was going on in her head. He waved a hand, a silent indication for her to go ahead.
Alice braced herself, shoving his comment to the back of her mind. In all honesty, she had no intention of telling him the truth when she’d first asked him to meet with her. She had been simply planning on apologizing then parting ways as soon as it was over. But before she knew it, she was sinking into an armchair, crossing her ankles, and thinking of the easiest way she could begin.
“My mother passed away when I was only three-and-ten,” she started, her tone somber. “She was seized by a sudden illness and it took her away within a matter of weeks. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to her, not the way I wanted to.”
