“Just bring me hot tea and inform my brother I will not be down for breakfast.”
“Yes, Miss Miller. Shall I bring your breakfast to you?”
As her stomach felt as though she had dined on lead the previous evening, Thea replied, “No. Just tea.”
Thea heard her skirts rustle as Felicity curtsied and she listened as her steps retreated across the sitting room, and then the door opened and closed. She knew she could not avoid Freddie forever, but had not the will power to face him that morning. Nor could she face Liam, but she wondered at his absence outside her door. Her grief swamped her as she pictured Freddie dismissing him last night, ordering him to pack his things and leave the estate.
“He never even gave me a chance to say goodbye,” she said to the window, tears burning her eyes at last. “Oh, Liam. I love you.”
That admission opened the floodgates of her emotions. Thea wept, sobbing into her hands, her heart breaking, shattered beyond repair. Crying so hard her stomach hurt, her arm flared up in agony, she rocked back and forth in her chair, unable to stop. Even as Felicity returned, Thea could not halt her weeping.
“Miss Miller?”
Thea glared at her through her swollen eyes and tears. “Leave me. Go.”
Felicity fled, leaving Thea to stagger to her bed and lay on its coverlet, pulling a pillow into her middle as she sobbed, curling into a tight ball. For hours she cried, her pillow and bodice wet, her hair in her face. She had never cried herself to sleep before, but the long night awake and the power of her grief finally dropped her into slumber.
* * *
Midafternoon had arrived when she woke and climbed from her bed, her skin crusted with salt from her tears. Thea found Felicity in the sitting room, darning one of Thea’s petticoats, quickly standing as Thea emerged from her bedchamber. “Miss Miller?”
Bleary-eyed, Thea sat at her dressing table, staring into the looking glass at her swollen face and disheveled appearance. “I need to wash,” she mumbled, her voice dull.
“Lord Willowdale has been by twice to see you, Miss Miller,” Felicity said, pouring water into a basin. “I informed him you were sleeping.”
Not caring if Freddie stood outside her door, begging to see her on his knees, Thea pressed a cool wet cloth to her face and eyes. Felicity brushed out her black hair and helped her change into a fresh gown. The common activity helped restore some of her old spirit, but every time she thought of Liam, her heart winced and she almost began weeping again.
If he is still here, I must find him, even if it is to say goodbye.If Freddie had an ounce of mercy, perhaps he would let Liam remain in the house until Mary was well again. Rising from her chair, Thea left her chambers to walk down to the suite where the ill servants were housed. Opening the door, she found a welcome sight. The servants, still in their cots, were sitting up, eating from trays on their laps.
“Do not rise,” she told them when they would have gotten up at her entrance. She tried to find a smile. “Remain where you are.”
Mary also sat with her back to the headboard, propped up by pillows. She, too, made to get up and curtsey, but Thea forestalled her with a gesture. “You look much better, Mary.”
“I be feelin’ better, Miss Miller.”
“Has, uh, Liam been by to see you?” Thea felt her stomach wrench when she spoke his name, knowing she must see him.
“Why, nay, Miss Miller,” Mary replied, her brows furrowing. “Nae since yesterday, e’en though he said he wid come by.”
“Oh.” Fear and dread filled Thea. Liam had not come by to see his mother.Freddie told him to go last night, I know he did. Did not give him a chance to say farewell to his mother, to me.
“Be something wrong, Miss Miller?”
Thea steeled herself, to tell the truth. “Yes, there is.” She took a deep breath. “I fear my brother may have dismissed him.”
Mary stared down at the food she had not yet eaten. “Because he loved ye.”
Thea felt little surprise that she knew. “And because I love him. I am so sorry, Mary.”
“I warned him, sae I did. I warned him.”
“It is my fault, Mary. Not Liam’s.”
Burdened by guilt, and her shame for her cowardice, unable to bear looking into Mary’s grief, Thea turned to go. “I am so sorry.”
Leaving the suite, Thea felt her runaway emotions seize hold of her again, choking off her breath, squeezing her chest. Her arm throbbed with fresh pain as her entire body tensed in her effort to walk to the stairs without crumbling into a heap. Yet, she had no more tears to shed. Her eyes dry, she walked slowly down them. Wondering if she could maintain her dignity in the faces of Freddie and Ampleforth, she gaped in shock, staring down.
Robert of Ampleforth stood at the base of the stairs, gazing up at her. He smiled as she met his eyes, an expression of triumph mixed with an evil sort of leer. He bowed as she continued on down, thinking she would walk on past him without speaking. Once more, she remembered neither Freddie nor the Baron could force the marriage vows from her lips.
