He nodded vaguely, and halted. “Raphe Manson?”
“Yep. Oh, and…” Her cheeks puffed out and her eyes widened. The wind brought an alpine chill with its latest gust, promising a clear night.
“Raphe Manson, fuck, this is a small town. Does he still…?” Ryder quickly shut himself up. “Never mind. Sorry. He and I were friends since like, preschool. It’s just weird, realizing that we both… with… never mind.”
“I’m still, I mean, I’m sort of seeing him again,” she squeaked.
“Oh.” Ryder stilled as he calculated what she meant. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, so he closed it again. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “You’re sure the… um… it… it’s mine?”
Zoe Halseth shined in her honest and bouncy self, bursting out with a laugh and leaning comfortably into him. “You really just asked that.”
“I really did,” he said as he bit the corner of his tongue to avoid laughing desperately. “I’m sorry. That was rude of me. This can’t have been easy on you, trying to figure out how to even tell me, inviting me up here under the guise of a business dinner, and then I askedthatquestion.”
“I’d been thinking of you when Evan met up again with Jagger a few weeks ago, but it happened to be a convenient excuse. Anyway, it’s a natural question, so I’ll let it slide. We’d been broken up for a few months when you and I… before the wedding. Now, we’re more playing with the idea of getting back together than actually back together, and we haven’t beentogethersince.” Her light chuckle rattled her entire throat as she tipped her head back. “Oh god, I am so glad I don’t have to try to calculate down to the day or do paternity testing or anything. Wow, that would add another level of complication. No, it is absolutely yours.”
Despite the absurdity of it all, he laughed with her. “I can’t even imagine that. Going through all the stress of testing and waiting, only to find out I don’t get to be a dad after all.”
Zoe quietly turned to face him, her chin tilted up an inch, her dark eyes soft in the dim light. “Do you want to… be involved?”
“Hell yes,” he said easily, shocking himself at how quickly the words came out. Hands suddenly not his own, swollen and fidgeting, he gripped them together and cleared his throat. “Only a few minutes ago, I was telling you I’m too busy to even date you. Now I’m saying I want to share a baby with you.” If only he was a rocket scientist, complex calculations coming to life on the chalkboard and magically becoming solved with the sort of genius they make movies about. Instead, Jerry MaGuire style images flashed in his mind of himself sprinting off the plane and piling up speeding tickets as he commuted to make his regular monthly visitation on time, showing up in a wrinkled suit and haggard smile for a drooling toddler who didn’t even look up from his stuffed dinosaur when Daddy walked in the door. “Fuck,” he mumbled.
“You don’t have to figure this all out tonight. We’ve got time.” She leaned into him and shrugged. “Maybe in the meantime, you’ll convince your company to expand and get an office up here.”
He nodded vaguely, then snorted. “My boss has this notion that we all need to be under one roof, a united sort of image. He’s even gone so far as to move an all-staff meeting to fucking midnight to ensure everyone could make it.”
“Oh, ouch. So no working from home for you, huh?”
“Not likely,” he said as he searched for the words, and the air to even be able to say it. “Thanks, Zoe. For telling me in person, instead of over the phone and leaving me terrified and alone while it sank in.”
“I wanted to fly down right away, but then what if you weren’t home. The meeting with Jagger, by the way, it wasn’t a ruse. I mean, it was, but he really did want to meet you, so it was more of a double dipper than a ruse.”
“Thanks for that, too.”
“I knew it meant a lot to you, and it meant a lot to me, what you said about inclusivity. You really think Bellamy is going to go for it?”
“Absolutely. After you and I talked at the wedding, it inspired my whole pitch, to let the world know they were a good company. I’ve got this campaign visualized for the long haul, starting with this badass edgy vibe, but contrasting it with humor and fun. I’m so excited to let them know about Jagger; he’s perfect for the gig. Having the best quarterback in the NFL would bring a massive level-up for them.”
“I’d love to watch you pitch it to them. You sound so passionate about it, it’s… okay it’s your job to make it sound exciting, but still, I’m convinced.”
Breath warmed in his lungs, and he savored the peace of the moment. Without a doubt, this was probably the most terrifying moment of his life, but somehow, he wasn’t ready to say goodnight. “You really vomited, when you found out?”
“And many times since, but that’s the nature of the beast. Oh,” she quickly stopped and reached into her jacket pocket. Black and white glossy photos reflected the low light from the moon.
Something foreign tightened in his chest, his heart becoming physically palpable. He slowly took the shiny paper from her and stared at the image. Too dark to make out any details, but it was enough.
“There’s not much to see anyway,” Zoe joked with a snort of a laugh. “Just a little peanut.”
A smile popped out of nowhere and drew the sensation of his heartbeat back to flow with the rest of him. “When do you see the doctor next?”
“Wendy, my Certified Nurse Midwife, is amazing. You’re going to love her. She set me up to meet with her nurse to go through everything next week, do tons of initial tests, then I start seeing Wendy monthly until we reach… I can’t remember when, actually, but I’ve got it all on my calendar.”
Ryder laughed and drew out his phone. “Now you’re talking my language.” With the ultrasound photo in one hand, he paused.
“That one’s your copy,” she said lightly.
He neatly slid it into the chest pocket of his jacket and held out his phone with both hands. “I’m making a shared calendar for us.”
Zoe slowly pulled out her phone and stared at him quietly.
