Zoe fired up the engine, which politely roared instead of rumbling as he’d expect of such a beast. “Oh, I might be compensating. At an entire foot shorter than my brothers and my dad, I am the shrimp of the family. Mom was the definition of petite, and she liked it that way. But, I am…”
“The defensive coordinator for a state champion high school football team? You don’t need to explain. It’s not rocket science.” He watched her more than the dark blue sky that popped in and out of view as they drove away from civilization.
Over her shoulder, she waggled a teasing eyebrow raise. “Says the man who is so adept at selling the image of success, that he does it for a living.”
“Oh, ouch, so we’re back to that?”
“No, sorry, I was trying to make a joke, but, honestly…” She grimaced as she trailed off.
Silence hung heavily as the lights of houses and cars thinned to nothing, only her headlights and the moon illuminating the double yellow line on the road.
“Look, Zoe, I have no expectations for, well, anything. I’m glad you invited me over, that you thought to introduce me to Jagger. But you’re absolutely right. I travel twice as much as I did before, for work, and as much as I’d like to see you regularly, Foothills isn’t exactly on my way anywhere, and—”
“Just, hang on.” Her tone clipped with a quiet impatience.
Air filled his lungs and slowly, carefully, he released. “That sounded bad. I’m so glad to see you and I think about you pretty much every time I close my eyes, but I’m trying to be upfront. On everything.”
Without responding, she turned down a winding road, more dirt than gravel and was probably a mudhole of a path when the fall rains hit. In the middle of the clearing, they came to a stop, and she shifted out of gear and shut off the engine. Without looking at him, a scrunch in the top of her nose as she seemed to be working something out, she stalled.
What was going on? Ryder bit his tongue, not wanting to say something stupid again, but… why was she so hot and cold tonight? She’s the one who invited him, out of the blue, after almost two months—
A vice clenched hard and fast around his chest.
No. No way. They’d used a condom.
Still not sure whether he was breathing or not, probably shaking like a last leaf clinging onto a branch in December, he glanced over at her.
She quickly looked away and climbed out of the truck.
Fuck.
The blanket was still balled up in his lap, and he tried to dry off the sweat of panic from his palms. As soon as he felt steady enough, he followed her to the back of the truck.
She’d folded down the tailgate and hopped up. She slipped into her jacket one arm at a time, and looked ahead at the moonlit forest in the distance. In the daytime, the spring wildflowers in the field would be a stunning array, but the blooms had closed up for the night.
Ryder slid onto the tailgate next to her.
She didn’t move.
“You didn’t invite me over for a business dinner, or a hookup, did you?” he asked gently.
She gritted her jaw tight and stared ahead. “Fuck it. Ryder, I’m pregnant.”
The vice rose from his chest to his throat and cut off his ability to speak. Nail. Coffin. “Okay,” he garbled.
“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” she said with a snorty disbelief of a laugh.
“Well. Um…” He forced a laugh and finally looked at her. “Did you drag me out to the middle of nowhere to murder me?”
She snorted a deranged laugh and knocked her shoulder into him.
“You can’t tell me you were eloquent when you found out,” he fired back, finding a laugh he desperately needed. So at least murder wasn’t on the agenda.
She patted his knee playfully and quickly pulled away. “I literally puked when I realized.”
Warmth radiated over his limbs as she loosened up with him. He shifted closer and wrapped the blanket around her opposite shoulder, and pulled the other side around himself. “Well. So. Shit. I have no idea what to say.”
She nodded and settled in at his side. As if she’d been rehearsing exactly what to say, she started reciting her lines like an amateur sports announcer. “I’m due January sixth, about 9 weeks along. I’m keeping it, and whatever you want to do is fine, involved or not, you know? Of course, the miscarriage risk is still high through the first trimester, bad luck to tell people yet I guess, so I’ve only told my brothers, which means Haley knows too of course, and I wanted to tell you right away, and… yeah. Um, I think that’s it. Oh, did you know condoms are… well, I’m not going to say useless, but as far as contraception goes, well, I should have stayed on the pill after I broke up with Raphe. You know, that phase where you don’t think you’re ever going to have sex again, so why bother.”
