He lowered his phone back to his lap and turned to look her in the eye. “Or… sorry, I had visions of going to appointments with you, but you might want Raphe, or to not havemetag along—”
“No, no. That’s… I think that would be good.” She snorted a laugh and looked down at their feet dangling off the tailgate. “Honestly, I’m not sure how Raphe is going to take this. After, well, everything before, I insisted on taking things very, very slowly this time around. I’m not sure I have the energy to manage an already fragile relationship on top of everything right now. I don’t know. I still haven’t told him, so I guess I’ll wing it.”
Ryder’s stomach sank, her tone, her brow low, the distance in her voice. Time was everything right now, and they had plenty of it, before… before things became unavoidable. Time to figure out how he was going to not be the dad he would have had, if his own father hadn’t drunkenly driven into another car and gotten himself killed. He released a long breath and put his arm around Zoe.
She leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I don’t remember my dad at all. Patricia hardly even mentioned him. A self-absorbed mess with a temper is about all I know about him—my mother’s words, not mine—and, well, you know Patricia. I have no doubt that her expectations on him were insurmountable, so it’s hard to even guess what he was really like.”
“Haley’s dad was there for you for a while, right?”
“Sort of. Haley walked on water to him, and he was good to Grady and me. Patricia was severe, to put it gently. Hattie was the one who hugged us and told us everything was going to be okay, and I love her to bits, but she has her own family; kids and grandkids. What I’m trying to say, is that I had a team of people around, but, I never had anything like your family. Mine was a rigidly calculated relay, but your parents were always together, a genuine team, you know? You all seemed like the sort of family they’d make a sitcom out of, a happy ending with a sappy message every week. So, I guess, what I’m trying to say is, there is nothing on my resume, personal or professional, that even remotely supports that I stand a chance at being any good at this—”
“You’re a Mallory. By definition, you’re good at everything.”
“Except for being human.”
“Hey. I know for a fact that your sister and your brother are amazing humans. There’s hope for you.” Zoe tilted a look up at him, and pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger until he looked her in the eye, until his confused laugh faded into a quiet calm.
Fuck, bad idea. All night, before this conversation anyway, he’d been trying to catch her eye long enough to share that zing again.
In the dim moonlight, he could see the glassiness coating her eyes, but it made the spark even brighter than usual. He bit down on the corner of his bottom lip to remind himself that he didn’t get to kiss her.
“Ryder Mallory, I had a hell of a lot of fun with you a handful of weeks ago. A lot has happened since then, in both of our lives. I am freaking out. But I’m going to take this one step at a time. How about this? We’ll start with that calendar, and if you can make it to any appointments, great. It’s a starting point. As we get closer, we’ll figure out the rest. Okay?”
“Okay. Perfect. We got this.”
“And, Ryder?”
“Yeah?”
“Want to come with me to tell my dad? I can be with you, when you tell Patricia.”
7
Kumquat
Onedown,threemoreawkward conversations to go. Zoe forced her eyes open bright and early, which was not an easy task on a Sunday after a restless sleep. Worse, knowing she had to work tonight.
Her phone buzzed at her side.
Shit, she had forgotten to plug it in, and the battery was down to thirty percent.
Heading your way, the text read. The man was punctual when there wasn’t an airplane involved, so that was something.
She texted Ryder back,I’m hopping in the shower.
He texted back.I don’t want to picture you wet and naked.
As she rose to her feet, the phone rang, neon lights glowing around Ryder’s name as her phone enticed her to answer. “Was that flirting, or do I gross you out?” she answered.
“The moment I hit send I realized that didn’t sound good either way, so I’m calling you instead of backpedaling via text.”
Sleep held her in a hazy grasp. This was not her time of day. She blinked it away and stumbled around the bedroom in search of yesterday’s towel. “Why do you sound so perky? It’s not even eight.”
“Zoe Halseth, are you not a morning person? You have more energy than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“That’s because you’ve only spoken to me in the morningonce, and I was high on sex.” That was the entire problem with the man. With only one condom and a lot of horny, they had been remarkably creative, and they hadn’t exactlyslept. “Are you one of those… morning people?” she added dramatically, heaping on a dose of disgust.
