Alife withJacedefinitely feels adventurous.Epic.Buthow much will he be gone?WillIbe sitting home alone a lot?
“So,”Marisays, “Maggietold us that you started dating someone.”
IshootMaggiea look.
“What?We’resupposed to keep family updated, and since you haven’t…”
Iupdated my parents sinceIthought they should have a heads-up thatJacewas coming, andIreally didn’t think the others would find out.Ishrug. “It’sstill very new.AndI’ma little unsure about how things are going.”
Maggieturns to look at me. “Youare?”
“Imean, things are also going great.Forour first date, we had a picnic atShadowridgePark, and he got takeout from a restaurant by his house.Itwassogood!Hehad to work last night.Sincewe wouldn’t be able to see each other, he had some of the things thatIlove from that restaurant delivered to my work for lunch.”
Ipause for the collectiveAwwsfrom my sisters.
“Right?Itwas so sweet.ButIdon’t know— things have also been… off between us.”
Ihaven’t had many long-term relationships in my life.Exceptfor several college boyfriends that each lasted a month or two, my only real one has beenDan.Notsince high school haveIdated someone who wanted to come to a family thing with me.Andright now, there’s a nagging fear down deep that’s telling meJacedidn’twantto be here.Itry to silence it.Butit’s deep and deep things are pretty hard to silence.
Ipull my phone out again, even though it’s only been three minutes sinceIlast checked.Notknowing when he’ll be back is the worst.IfIknew he’d be gone for a week,Iwouldn’t check at all.ButIhave no idea what kind of time frame we’re talking about.Ishe going to be gone for a day?Amonth?
Maybethe mission he has to do is like someI’veseen in spy movies that are done in an hour and they can immediately hop back on a plane home.ButsinceIdon’t know what country he’s in,Ihave no idea how long of a flight it will be to get back, soIdon’t know what the minimum time gone is.Andwe haven’t been dating long enough to know how frequent trips like these are likely to be.I’llknow nothing until he’s back.
Okay,Ido know something, and it’s thatI’mworried about him.Howdangerous of a mission is this?
“Whatdo you mean,”Mayasks, “that things have beenoff?”
Thedreamnightmare where he told me he wasn’t actually interested resurfaces.Ishrug, like it’s not a big deal. “I’mjust not sure he likes me.”
Maggieshakes her head. “I’veseen him with you.Helikes you.Infact,Imight even say he loves you.”
Thefeelings that statement causes in me are a mix of elation and disbelief.Itseems like the two emotions would basically cancel each other out, like negative numbers and positive numbers.Cookiesand exercise.Fastcars and traffic jams.Butinstead, it’s more like a cold front hitting a warm front and causing a tornado.
Ican’t even tell them thatJaceis a spy— which makes him a master at faking things— to explain that whatMaggiehas seen isn’t necessarily truth.Instead,Isay, “Ithought so, too.Buthe’s been acting a little weird lately, soIdon’t know.Andsince he’s out of town,Ican’t even talk to him about it.”
“Canyou call him while he’s there?”Maggieasks.
Ilook out at the men and the boys as the sun is getting low in the sky. “No.Theclient he’s helping is in a high-security facility, so there’s no communication in or out until he leaves.AndIdon’t know how long it’s going to take or when he’ll be back.”
Mydrama-loving sister,May, says, “Ooo!Maybehe’s a cheater and just doesn’t want you to contact him.”Likeshe’s about to pop popcorn to eat as she watches the chaos of a breakup ensue.
Ishake my head. “Ifthere’s one thing thatI’mconfident about withJace, it’s that he’s not a cheater.”
Mycomforting sister,Mari, says, “Keepyour chin up, sis.Ifit’s meant to work out, it’ll work out.”
Atmy core,Ibelieve that.Butit’s not like that makes things easier.Ifthings withJacearen’t meant to work out, it’s still going to gut me.
Mysometimes-supportive, sometimes-teasing sister,Maggie, nods. “Iagree— keep that chin up.Evenif it is more difficult with that extra weight on your nose.”
Ican see that she’s not standing in the most balanced way, soIbump her hip with mine, nearly knocking her over.
CHAPTER36
SHADOWS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
JACE
Thepilot already radioed ahead that we will be exiting the plane with an injured woman on a gurney, so when we come to a stop on the tarmac, they roll a ramp up to the door instead of the usual stairs.Ihelp the nurse that has traveled with us fromTelAvivto wheelShanna’sbed down to the waiting ambulance.Shannaalready had emergency surgery on the ground inTelAvivand was anxious to get back to theU.S., but she still needs a bit of medical attention.
