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Mymom assumes thatJaceis the newbie at the company.Ifshe only knew that he is one of the top spies in the country. “Heactually worked his way up in the company so he could get to the position of taking these jobs.Butit won’t be forever.Wetalked about it once, and he said he plans on taking on the urgent jobs until he’s about thirty-five, then he’ll move to a different position in the company.”

“Oh, that’s good.Howold is he now?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“Oof.That’sstill a lot of years.”

Attimes like this, it really does seem like it.

Marihas made her way back into the kitchen and says, “Oh!Ilike the ‘under construction’ look.Whendo you plan to have the grand re-opening?”

“AndhereIwas sad for so many years thatIdidn’t have brothers.”

“Whoneeds brothers,” my little sisterMaysays as she grabs a mini carrot. “Wecan run with the best of them.Oh, andIshould probably tell you that whenDadtold us as kids that we should ‘put our noses to the grindstone,’ he didn’t mean literally.”

Herboyfriend shakes his head. “No, she’s just doingVoldemortcosplay.”

Mari’shusband walks back inside with his boys just then and comes up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Listen,I’msorry about making fun of your nose earlier.”

“Thankyou!”Isay.

Henods. “I’mactually really proud of you for your bravery in finally deciding to get that nose job.We’veall been meaning to suggest it, butI’mimpressed that you did it without any of us having to bring it up.”

“I’veheard of nose jobs,” my not-so-innocent 5-year-old nephew says. “ButIthought your nose would still be nose-colored after, not silver with blue padding.”

Mybrother-in-law high-fives his son.

“Sayall you want.”Iput my arm around my mom’s shoulders as my dad comes into the kitchen with the plate of cooked burgers, putting all twelve of us in the small kitchen. “AtleastIhaveMomon my side.”

“That’sright, honey,” she says, squeezing me back. “Iam always on your side.RememberthatRudolphwasthe most famousreindeer of all, so you rock that shiny nose of yours!”

Imay be the butt of all these jokes, butIcan’t complain— this is the most action our family get-togethers have seen in a while.Itcontinues through dinner, too.Evenmy three-year-old nephew gets in on the action with one he came up with all on his own— “Isyour nose going on a space trip?Ordid it turn into a robot?”

Weeat, sing happy birthday, and my dad blows out the candles while everyone jokes that we have the fire department standing by, and then my dad has had all the excitement and socializing and craziness he can handle.

“Thanksfor coming everyone.Asalways, it’s great to see you.Nowif you don’t mind,I’mgoing to go watch someTV.”

“Butit’s your birthday and your daughters are here,” my mom says.

Henods. “Yep, it’s my birthday.So, ifIwant to go watchTV, shouldn’tIbe able to?”

Mymom must’ve not really been feeling her protest, because it isn’t five minutes before she announces that she, too, is tired and is going to watch a bit ofTV.

Fiveminutes after that, the rest of us are all outside.Mythree sisters andIare leaning against the railing of the deck, watching the guys and the little boys on the grass, having an all-out battle with theNerfguns thatSilasbrought.Ithink about how much our parties have livened up since he joined the family.

Which, of course, makes me pictureJacedown on the grass with the guys, and it surprises me how natural it seems like it would be to have him here.Whatwould he think about everyone?Whatwould he bring to the family that isn’t already here?

Iwish he had come.Ipull out my phone to make sureIhaven’t missed any texts from him.Ofcourse,Ihaven’t— it’s way too soon for that— but it doesn’t stop me from checking just in case.

Mynephew squeals in the way that only three-year-olds can, and it starts me thinking about how things were before my nephews,Addi, and my brothers-in-law came into our lives.Mysisters andIhad kind of gotten used to my parents retreating to the front room to watchTV, my dad armchair quarterbacking news stories while the rest of us tried not to die of boredom.

EverytimeI’mhere, that same feeling washes over me again, andIwonder if my sisters feel it, too. “Whenwe come here, do you all get antsy, too?Likeyou suddenly need to go do something more epic with your life?Tolive larger?”

Maynods andMaggieshrugs, butMarisays, “Iused to.Butgetting married gave me a ‘larger life.’”

“Itdid?”Okay, that gives me hope.

Shenods. “It’sa gift ofSilas’s— the thingI’vealways found most attractive about him.Itlasted until we started having kids.”Imust have a horrified look on my face because it makes her laugh. “Thenyou start a brand new adventure with them.”