‘Is my dog in heaven?’ one of the younger girls asked, having raised a shaky hand.
‘Well, last time you asked me that question Scampi was playing in the garden at home.’
‘But now he’s died.’
‘Oh, I’m very sorry to hear that, Kiesha. There are lots of different thoughts about whether our pets go to heaven or not, but, given that Scampi is an imaginary dog, I think he’s wherever you imagine him to be.’ Sofia smiled and nodded reassuringly, checking that Kiesha was okay before moving on. ‘Next?’
‘Is everybody going to get washed away in the floods and then run out of food and die because of the environment?’
And so it went on…
There were only a few seconds left when Milly asked her question:
‘My question is in three parts so it’s really only one question, and it’s where are your children and how old are they and what are their names? Ooh! And can they come to kids club one time and that’s still part of the question only I forgot to say it before so it’s still one question.’
Sofia stared at Milly. Some of the kids started to fidget and mutter, while others fixed expectant faces on Sofia, probably feeling confused at why, instead of replying, she didn’t even blink.
‘Well?’ Milly asked, her little forehead creasing.
‘Um.’ Sofia opened her mouth, closed it again, and then, to save me having to jump up and create an intervention, the timer went off.
‘Oh!’ Sofia snapped back into life. ‘Right, well, time’s up! Thanks, everyone, for your fabulously fascinating questions. I hope you all learnt something new. It looks like your parents and carers are waiting, so once you’ve stacked your chairs you can sign out with Gemma.’
I helped one of the playworkers stack the empty chairs, then stood and watched my sister smile and wave while gathering stray bags and coats and making sure she spoke to each of the children’s collectors. My heart splintered. Ten minutes in a room with those kids and I was wondering if filling in ‘yes’ to the children question on the compatibility test had been a foolish mistake. Sofia was born for this.
Where are her children?That was my question, too.Well, God?
Once all the kids had gone, Sofia left the team to clear up and we relocated to her office.
‘Well, that was… enlightening.’ I tugged two plastic boxes out of my bag.
‘I love Ask Anything.’ Sofia grinned.
‘Those boys.’ I shuddered. ‘Are they always so… yuck?’
‘Oh, come off it, Emma. We could be just as bad. The trick with the Young Ones’ potty?’
‘I had nothing to do with that!’ I cringed in remembrance.
Sofia squinted as she thought about it. ‘No. You’re right. You were very rarely yuck.’
‘Well, I think you were a phenomenal fount of knowledge. I’m impressed, as always. And I’m sorry about that question from Milly.’
Sofia placed two glasses on the table in between us, pausing before she sat down again. ‘Yeah.’ She pressed her lips together, which I knew from experience was an attempt to stop her chin from wobbling. ‘That one caught me off-guard. I don’t know why. It’s not like some of the adults in church haven’t been making comments about me starting a family.’
‘Do you tell them to bog off and mind their own business?’ I handed her a plate.
‘Wouldn’t make it any less painful that they’d asked.’ She shook her head briefly then, looking back up at me with a bright smile. ‘Anyway, we aren’t here to talk about my same old problems. What’s up with you, Old One? Sounded a bit urgent when you messaged.’
How Sofia could deduce that from my ten-word message, I would never know.
‘Yeah. No. Not urgent as in an emergency.’
‘Urgent as in, “I can’t stop thinking about this and it’s driving me bananas so I need to talk to someone sensible about it soon to avoid imminent emotional implosion.”’
I shrugged, popping open a pot of salad, and started dividing it between the plates.
Sofia smiled. ‘Yeah, most of my urgent appointments tend to be in that category.’
