‘I’m sorry to bother you, especially when you’ve so much stuff going on…’
Sofia sat back. ‘Don’t be stupid. You’re my sister. I always have time for you. And we never got around to catching up properly last night.’
I took a forkful of lentils and sweet potato.
‘Are you worried about Cooper and Bridget being friends?’
I swallowed carefully. ‘Do you think I should be?’
Sofia considered her answer. ‘I think Bridget is struggling to adapt to all these changes, feeling off-balance and unsure of herself, and clinging onto an old friendship is her reaction to that. I’d be more worried if you couldn’t talk honestly with her, and, more importantly, Cooper, about what boundaries you feel comfortable with and why.’
‘What, like please stop being friends with my sister, because I’m jealous that she knows everything about you and I don’t even know your favourite colour?’
‘Well, yeah. If that’s true. Or at least you can ask him to tell you if he’s been hanging out with her.’
We ate a few more mouthfuls.
‘Are you more jealous for Bridget or Cooper?’ Sofia asked.
I thought about that and decided, in the inner sanctum of Pastor Sofia’s office, I had better be honest, or I truly would find myself turning bananas. ‘I’ve thought and thought about it, and I don’t think I am jealous. That’s what bothers me the most.’
Sofia put down her plate. ‘Go on.’
I took a deep breath, ready to rush my words out in one go before I changed my mind. ‘I think I might be hoping that Cooper has a thing for Bridget so that we have an excuse to split up and it’s not my fault for not being able to fall in love with him.’
There. I sagged in the chair like a deflated balloon.
Sofia took a sip of water.
‘I hate myself for even thinking it. It’s been, what, two and a half weeks? We haven’t made it past kissing yet. And I have no reason not to fall in love with him. I probably do love him, in one kind of way. He’s so lovely and kind and sweet and I really respect his integrity and his decency and his sense of humour. He’s perfect in so many ways. And I think he’s very good-looking. I really do. There’s just…’
‘No boom.’
I pressed at a tear threatening to leak out of the corner of my eye. ‘Exactly.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’
‘I was hoping you’d tell me that.’
‘That’s not how this works.’
I breathed out a long sigh. ‘I don’t want to take the easy option for the sake of it. I don’t want to run away at the first obstacle. I got myself into this situation after weeks of thought and consideration, because I believed it was the right thing to do. I have to know I gave it everything. Nita said we needed chemistry, kindness and commitment. Kindness is a given. I think that there’s at least some chemistry. Maybe the problem is I’m wavering on the commitment.’
‘Sounds like you want to keep going.’
‘I do.’ I dragged my eyes up off the faded linoleum to look at her. ‘I wish it felt a bit easier, though. It doesn’t help that I find being with his flatmate so comfortable, either.’
‘Ben? The best-man photographer?’
‘Yeah, he’s got that knack of putting people at ease, like Dad always does. Whenever he walks into the flat the tension dissipates.’
‘Emma, do you like Ben?’
Oh, dear. I really hoped not.
I fiddled with my water bottle. ‘I… don’t find himunattractive?’
‘Oh, boy.’
