‘Then someone else would’ve come along. There are loads of runners and dog walkers about at that time.’
‘Yeah, but if you’d smashed your head as you plummeted down, knocked yerself out and no one saw you, you could’ve been there for hours. Days!’ Mel shook her head in imagined horror.
‘What she said!’ Joey agreed, vigorously.
‘What do you want me to do, Joey?’ I asked, the pain making me irritable. ‘Stop running? Go back to how things were?’
‘You could try running in daylight,’ Dani suggested. ‘Less risk of you falling, and more chance someone will spot you.’
Joey shook his head. ‘She has to go when it’s dark.’
‘Eh?’ Mel wrinkled up her forehead. ‘What, you a vampire or summat?’
‘I have an… anxiety condition that makes it easier for me to go out when it’s dark,’ I mumbled.
Joey did an enormous snort. ‘Understatement.’
‘Well, that leaves only one option,’ Mel said, grinning. ‘Yer’ll have to join the Larkabouts.’ She nodded at me, frowning. ‘Once that ankle’s better, o’ course.’
Which I was rather hoping could turn out to be a very, very long time…
16
Stop Being a Loser Programme
Day Thirty-Eight
Or not, as it turned out. Pain that initially felt as though my ankle had been crushed in a vice soon faded to a mild ache. The swelling disappeared within a few days, and after a week I was itching to get out there again. Having caught the whiff of freedom in those woods, the thought of slumping back into captivity sent me frantic. The problem was, I’d hit a stalemate with my son.
He’d ‘happened’ to mention it to Nathan at the swimming gala. Nathan then ‘happened’ to give Joey a lift home instead of Lisa. So, obviously, then, he’d earnt the right to come inside to give me a lecture about the lunacy of running alone.
‘I’m really sorry about your friend,’ I said, once he’d paused to take a breath. ‘But there are loads of people there, and I always take my phone.’
‘No signal up there,’ Joey said, butting in.
‘I’ve weighed up the risks, and the chances of something awful happening are miniscule if I keep running. As opposed toevery daybeing awful if I let fear win, and stay in this house. I won’t waste any more time. And trust me, I’ll be paying more attention from now on, I won’t risk a moment’s carelessness hurting me again.’
‘Why not give the club a go? That way everybody’s happy,’ Nathan replied, running exasperated fingers through mussy hair.
‘This may surprise you, but when it comes to my physical and mental health, I don’t especially care if you’re happy about it!’
‘I meant you and Joey. And I really think you’ll enjoy it. You’ve met Mel and Dani; the rest are just as nice. No one’s going to judge you. Mostly. Well. Except maybe one. And you can ignore her. Everyone else does. There are tons of benefits to running in a group.’
‘You might actually make some friends, for a start,’ Joey said.
I glowered at him, still very miffed that he’d invited Nathan in while I was splayed out on the sofa in my pyjamas, body unwashed, hair unbrushed, face un-concealered, bra discarded onto the floor beside me. Thank goodness Nathan had stopped to take off his trainers, giving me time to shove the bra under the sofa cushion.
‘You will make friends. But more than that, you’ll have motivators, people to inspire and encourage you. Share tips. You’ll get a professional programme, including warm-ups and cool-downs, the right variety in distance and terrain. Everyone’s progress hits another level after joining a club.’
‘I don’t need motivation, or someone to encourage me. And I know how to warm-up and cool-down.’
Nathan tried again, ‘But being part of a team is just… different. Special. Right, Joey?’
‘I think Mum already knows that,’ Joey replied, looking straight at me.
Once Nathan had left, Joey played his trump card: ‘Give the Larkabouts one session or I’ll tell Cee-Cee you’re sofa-ridden.’
I do not tolerate blackmail as a way to conduct family business. I particularly hold no truck with children attempting to control or manipulate their parents.
