Arriving at Richards Plaza after a night with my roommates, I feel more relaxed. I must trust in our relationship more after panicking for the past week. It’s normal to feel conflicted with the past we share.
Once I get to Eli’s penthouse, I unpack my things and walk into his office to find him. Instead, I see his desk strewn with papers that have my old nameMaggie. I look through the papers, wondering why he was looking for me when he’s the one who left. Nothing makes sense right now. Eli was the one who left me behind without a backward glance. Why would he want to find me?
When I hear movement behind me, I turn around and come face to face with Eli. And he’s not happy to see me going through his private things. The past is something we both like to ignore. We need to stop hiding and ignoring the big part of our shared history.
For the past few weeks we’ve been together, we’ve ignored what happened seven years ago. As a result, we project all our personal feelings and pain onto each other and other people around us. It isn’t fair to anyone. I think it’s finally time to fix everything between us to enjoy our life together.
“Why do we never talk about the past?” I blurt out.
Eli looks at me with wide eyes. He thinks over what I asked and huffs, “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”
I can’t believe him. “What makes you say that?” I tell him as he stands there with his arms crossed across his chest.
He gets annoyed, and I can see it in his stony expression. “Because you never talk about it either.”
“I don’t even know where to start. Many questions need answers.” I explain.
He uses my own words against me. “Like what? Rose, I need your words. I still can’t read your mind.”
If we want to learn and grow together, this is the moment of the truth. I need to let my guard down and let him in. This is the moment I have been preparing myself for since my anxiety attack at Tres Besos.
“I want to know why you never contacted me again, Eli. You broke my heart after you left like that. It took me years before I could trust another man. And look how that turned out.” A sarcastic chuckle leaves my lips before I continue. “I thought you would be waiting for me after I got out of the hospital, but you weren’t there. Why did you leave me without a note?”
Eli looks at me like I just slapped him. He’s stunned into silence for a long moment. “And all this time, I’ve been wondering the same thing. You said there was no note, but there was. I wrote you a letter, you just never wrote back,” Eli clears up.
Now I’m confused. Whatletter?“You never wrote to me! That’s why I was mad at you for years,” I reply in an irritated tone.
His expression turns from stony to surprised. “I wrote you a letter when you were in the hospital. I gave it to Grandma Lou.”
“You think that I would have skipped reading your letter? You were my first freaking everything. I spent nights lying awake wondering where you were. Screw you if you think so little of me!” I shout, raising my voice while marching to the bedroom to gather my things. I need to get out of here and find the answers without arguing with him.
Eli watches me as I start packing my bag. “Where are you going? We’re still talking here.” he bellows as he follows my every movement.
“I’m out of here. You blame me. I blame you. We’ll never get where we need to be if we keep talking in circles. I think we need some distance to handle our feelings,” I tell him while tossing my clothes in my duffle bag. One of my shirts falls on the floor, I don’t bother picking it up.
“You always run away. Run, Rose, Run. Why can’t you see that I love you!”
I stop what I’m doing. “Y-y-you should know better than to say that in the middle of a fight.” My voice breaks, and I just want to get out of here.
“Rose, stop. Please don’t be mad about it. I just can’t stop feeling the way I do about you. Don’t leave me again,” Eli pleads as I slam the walk-in closet door shut.
My head is pounding, and my heart thumps extra beats. My steps turn into slow jogging, crossing Eli’s penthouse. As the elevator doors open, Elijah comes into my view. “Don’t leave, love. Let’s talk about it. I’ll tell you what I said in my letter. It’ll all be fine. Don’t leave me again. I don’t know if I can survive it the second time,” he begs as I step into the elevator.
I don’t turn around as the doors close.
There is a loud bang as his fist hits the door. I hurt him. Once again.
* * *
I ask for an extra key for one of Eli’s cars at the private car park below Richards Plaza. I’ve done it before, so it all goes smoothly—another perk of having more money than you can spend wisely in a lifetime. I could get used to personal concierge services.
Driving Eli’s newest truck out of the underground garage, I turn to the left towards Brooklyn Bridge. Leaving Manhattan behind me, I think about what to do next. Then, it hits me. There’s only one way to find out if Eli told the truth. If my hunch is right, Helen must know more than she let on while visiting.
“Hey Siri, call Helen,” I speak into my phone.
After a few rings, Helen’s voice fills the car, and I calm down a bit.
“Hey, sweetheart, what a lovely surprise.” Helen sing-songs happily.
