I silenced the call and placed Emorey on her feet in front of me. She didn’t understand what was going on and her confusion brought a smile to my face. She was the cutest, tiniest thing with the biggest personality.
Just like Essence, she shared my hazel eyes and sandy brown hair. Both of them had skin that mimicked the color of mine. Brown sugar. It was the only thing that came to mind when trying to describe our shade. My genetics seemed to be the only ones that showed up to the party when my girls were created. Years apart, and they were still mini versions of me, twinning to the fullest.
“Do you have to potty, Em?”
“Yes, Mommy,” Emorey yawned, again.
“What about you, Essence?” I turned to her and asked.
“Yes, ma’am. I need to pee,” Essence said, stretching her arms as she watched me stand and join Emorey.
Because the stroller was stopping her from sliding out of her seat, she slid across the row until she was able to stand with us. The other passengers were preparing to exit as well, causing a line to form to get down the stairs to the first level and then outside.
My girls practiced patience as we waited. Once we were outside, I pulled Emorey’s tiny frame into my arms with the knowledge that she was extremely tired and wasn’t up for much of anything. The heavy breath she exhaled confirmed my suspicions. She was grateful that I’d taken the task off her plate.
“Come on, Es,” I demanded, gently, while reaching for my daughter’s hand.
Once our palms connected, I picked up the pace and headed straight for the gas station’s doors. If I could, I wanted to be one of the first in the girls’ room. With Emorey’s impatient bladder, it was best if I got her in and out.
“Thank you.” Appreciating the kindness of the stranger holding the door open for us all, I thanked them.
The store’s bell chimed as we entered the store. Emorey’s head popped up as I felt Essence’s grip on my hand loosen. Both of their eyes blossomed as we passed the selection of goodies on the way to the restroom.
Thankfully, there wasn’t a long line at the door. The restroom was large, allowing up to twenty-five people to enter a stall at a time. We entered the family stall that was equipped with two toilets, standing room, and a changing table for the babies. There were also two sinks, one smaller for the children to wash their hands. We were in and out in under six minutes.
When I bent to pick Emorey up again, she swatted my hand away. Much more alert, she made her way through the store, lacing her hands into Essence’s. When the two of them stopped near the front of the store where the snacks were located, I gnawed on the inner corner of my lip, trying to find the words to tell my children that we had to get going and couldn’t stop for snacks. It would be a lie, something I’d prided myself on never telling them, but as I stood watching them browse the selections, the words failed me.
My stomach knotted at the realization that it was the first time in the girls’ lives that I’d be telling them I wouldn’t be buying them anything. And for the first time, it wasn’t because they already had too much or had just bought other things. It was because I couldn’t afford it.
The fact nearly brought me to both of my knees as I stared at a browsing Emorey and Essence. Turning in the opposite direction, I smeared the tears threatening me with sorrow withthe end of my shirt. Coughing, I concealed the heart-aching whimper that my body fought to release.
While I wasn’t a stranger to struggle, my children hadn’t seen anything remotely close. They’d been blessed with the best of everything, except a healthy relationship with their father and a balanced two-parent household. Anything else, they were privy to. Leaving their father meant leaving it all behind – for now. Soon, we’d be up, but for the moment we weren’t.
“One thing, girls,” I caved, unable to deny them of their instant gratification.
“Okay, Mommy,” Essence called out, taking a look over her shoulder to let me know she understood. I melted three times over. She couldn’t comprehend the situation fully, but she was aware that things had immediately changed for us without much explanation, and I was thankful for her maturity – even at her tiny age.
“Only one, Em. Choose one and put the other one back,” she explained to her little sister so that I wouldn’t have to. She was willing to be the villain in Emorey’s story for the moment, freeing my conscious and lifting my spirit.
“Come on, girls,” I requested. “We don’t have much longer before we have to get back on the road. Hurry with your selections.”
After a bit more debating on Emorey’s end, she decided on a Push-Pop, and Essence went with a bag of tropical Skittles. The four-dollar total was a breath of fresh air to my account, especially knowing I didn’t recall a time that the girls and I didn’t spend at least eighty dollars at the gas station when including gas for my Mercedes.
We returned to the bus with a few minutes to spare. Because both of the girls were awake, I pulled their iPads from their bags to keep them occupied. For more legroom, I folded the stroller. Both of the girls fit comfortably in the second seat of ourrow. Emorey laid against me with her iPad in my lap. Essence propped hers up on the small tray that flipped down in front of her. With her Skittles in her hand, she zoned out, headphones in as she watched Disney+.
As we settled in, the bus pulled away from the curb and onto the roadway. My cell stirred in my lap, vibrating shortly. The rhythm let me know it was a text instead of a call, and I simply prayed Dewayne hadn’t found a new way to contact me.
Dee called me. He wants to know if I know where you are. It was my mother. Obviously, he’d taken desperate measures and reached out to her at ungodly hours.
What did you tell him?I wanted to know, praying she hadn’t slipped up in any way and let him know we were on the way to Channing. It was unlike her, but I had to hear it from her mouth.
Nothing, of course.
Good. Answer if you feel inclined, but you don’t have to if he calls back. Just make sure you continue to remind him that you have no idea where we are and haven’t spoken to me.
I don’t plan on telling him anything.
How far are you guys?My mom double texted.
