A strange sensation comes over me, a feeling of belonging that I’ve never felt before in my life. My chest expands in a strange way, and although I’m still nervous, I feel it could never be better than this. I feel Luca’s breath close to mine and asatisfied noise coming straight from his throat; he kisses me in a possessive and avid way, and I feel like I’m in heaven.
I look into his eyes, and he seems completely lost in the moment; adoration floods his eyes as he looks at me, and I know it’s always been him; it’s impossible that it wasn’t. I dig my nails into his back, and from the way he kisses me, I know he feels the same. We yearn with delight and move together as if we’ve done it a hundred times before.
“I love you!” His voice is whispered close to my lipswhile he kisses me in a calm and loving way, almost as if I were made of porcelain. He looks into my eyes and holds my pulse point, looking for any sign that I’m not well.
I smile in his direction and pull his face toward mine, kissing his lips and putting all the love I feel for him into that kiss. He lies back on the bed and pulls me toward him. I lay my head on his chest, feeling his heartbeat accelerate; I draw some imaginary pictures on his chest, feeling a kiss being placed on my hair. I look in his direction, andhe gives me a small smile, pulling my chin toward him and kissing my lips affectionately. He grabs my waist and places me completely on top of his body, looks me in the eye, and caresses my cheek.
“I love you!” the words come out of my lips, dragging and tired. A smile appears on his face, and his face seems to light up.
His hand takes up half my face, and he looks into my eyes, seeming to read my soul. “I never thought I could love anyone other than my family and the Camorra; I didn’t think my heart could do ituntil you came into my life and showed me that it’s impossible not to love you, Chiara. No one else could make me love you, only you!”
“Only yours, always and forever!” I couldn’t be anyone elseat this moment and in all the others. I am Luca’s, andperhaps I always have been, even if I didn’t know it.
Chapter 18
The sun is shining, and hundreds of Camorra officers are present at thecompound. I walk out of the warehouse and see all those men dressed in black, watching the Di Santis family climb the platform in the compound. I feel the stares on me; I follow Lady Milena up the small steps, staying close to her behind Luca and his father.
“Today, a new era begins; a new Capo will rule, andthe Camorra will start again, reinvent itself, and prosper. Today, I leave my post as Capo and pass my place on to my son!” Don Henrico’s voice is projected everywhere, and I see many men looking in my direction, many in clear denial.
“I will take over this post, which is rightfully mine, with honor and strength. I will make the Camorra bigger and stronger. I will eliminate all my enemies without mercy. I will kill and torture all those who go against me or my family. I am in charge, and I demand respect. If anyone is against me taking over, let them declare it now.” I look through the crowd of men of honor; no one moves or opens their mouths, probably imagining that they will die if they do.
“Well then, kneel down and swear allegiance to the new Capo.” Don Henrico’s voice is regal, and in a matter of seconds, all the men are on their knees, with their hands over their hearts, looking in my husband’s direction.
Luca’s face is impassive, cold, and unfeeling. I put my hand to my heart, seeing a smile appear on Lady Milena’s lips, and together with the soldiers, in one voice, Luca’s parents and I swear allegiance to our new Capo di Capi.
“Giuro su questo pugnale di omertà insanguinato e davanti all’onorevole società, di essere fedele ai miei compagni, che adempirò tutti i miei doveri, se necessario con il sangue. Possa la mia carne bruciare come questo santo se non mantengo il mio giuramento.(I swear on this blood-soaked omertà dagger and in front of the honorable society, to be faithful to my comrades, that I will fulfil all my duties, if necessary with blood. May my flesh burn like this Saint if I fail to keep my oath.)”
Points of fire are scattered throughout the complex, and I see many men slit their hands, showing their loyalty to Luca by spilling their own blood. Luca signals with his hand for all the men to stand up, and I see some heading toward the fire points, burning their hands. I look over to Luca and see him holding out his hand toward me. I walk toward him in calm steps, feeling the men’s scrutiny on me. With a gesture from my husband, they kneel on the ground again, bowing their heads. I look toward Luca, and he seems satisfied with the gesture.
“They are showing respect and loyalty to you, as my wife, as the queen of the Camorra!” I nod, gesturing with my hand for them to stand up, watching them quickly obey, feeling more powerful than ever.
***
Luca’s seizure of power was not as calm as we imagined; about two weeks after he became Capo, the Cosa Nostra attacked; I woke up in Luca’s arms to the sound of shots being fired, he quickly got out of bed, grabbing the gun that was on the bedside table. I sat up in bed, feeling my body tremble, and I saw Luca walk toward the window and peek through, his expression cold and frightening; I saw him quickly put on some clothes and hand me my robe.
“Get up quickly, we’re under attack!” I remain paralyzed on the bed, Luca gently pulls my hand and lifts me off the bed,helping me into my robe. “I know you’re scared, amore, but we have to get you to safety.”
Luca pulls me through the corridors of the mansion to the basement. I see him put the code of the safe, which gives access to the safe room, and I hug my arms, trying to stop myself from crying. He opens the door and walks in with me, making me sit on the sofa; I watch him take a pistol and a knife out of his arm holster.
“No one will be able to get in here, but if something happens, kill them!” My eyes fill with tears, and everything seems blurry; I look at the guns in my hands, and I feel myself shaking. “I have to go; as soon as things calm down, I’ll come and get you.”
Luca stands up, ready to leave the room, and I grab his wrist. “Don’t go, don’t leave me here alone.”
He looks at me without any expression on his face. “Chiara, I have to go, it’s my duty!”
I stand up, grab his face, and seal his lips with mine. “Come back to me, Luca, that’s an order!” His face softens a little at my words and he kisses me. “I love you!”
A hoarse laugh escapes his throat. “I love you, Pricipessa, and I’ll always come back to you!”
He leaves and closes the door with a bang. I hear the lock and the signal that security is activated; I look around alone and afraid. I sit down on the sofa and hug my legs, finally letting the tears run down my face. I wake up noticing that I’m being carried by someone; I jolt a little and try to get rid of the arms around me; the room is dark, and I feel dazed.
“It’s me, it’s okay!” Luca’s hoarse voice makes me calm down, and I rest my head on his chest. I take my hand to his shirt, feeling it get wet and sticky; the smell of blood fills my senses, and I close my eyes, trying to ignore it.
I’m put down on the floor and go to the light switch to turn on the light in the room. Luca is bloodstained from head to toe;his clothes are soaked, and empty splashes stain his beautiful face. I look in the mirror and see my nightdress and blond hair stained with blood. I feel Luca’s eyes on me, and I say nothing, heading for the bathroom and filling the bath with hot water. I feel his presence, his gaze on me as I drop my clothes at my feet; I step into the bath and look in his direction, holding out my hand to him. I watch him as he takes his clothes off, and I see him stained with blood; he gets into the bath behind me, and I rest my body on him, watching the water turn pink.
I don’t say anything; I don’t really know what to say. I take the sponge and turn toward my husband, feeling his gaze follow my every move. I run the sponge over his torso, getting rid of the blood that stains him. I bring my hands up to his face, wiping away the bloodstains, and he closes his eyes, letting me do it. I look at the man I married, sitting in that bathtub with cuts and bruises all over his body, the water full of blood after he killed to defend us. I lean toward him and hug him, putting my head in the crook of his neckand his arms around my waist. He pulls me closer to him, leaving a kiss on my head.
“You are my peace, all I need.” His voice is hoarse and tired; I kiss his neck and continue to hold him, making it clear that I’m not going anywhere.
