* * *
Six weeks later,mid-July
Willa
I check my phone, but the text staring back at me is just another piece of proof that any luck I ever had has run out.
Willa:Knox, we need to talk
Knox:We said goodbye, remember? I have nothing to say to you.
I sent that text yesterday.
We haven’t talked since our texts in June. His pleading words and calls broke my heart, but I really believed I had to do life on my own, that it was unfair to drag him into my mess.
But it’s not just my mess anymore.
His cold response came a few hours later. I called twice, but he hung up both times.
I try again. I don’t want to, but I have to.
Willa:Knox, please. This is really important. Please call or text.
Knox:What part ofI have nothing to say to youdo younot understand?
Willa:Just give me five minutes. After all we shared, I deserve that much, right?
Knox:No.
His words are killing me, but I guess he has a right to his anger. And I have a good reason to endure it.
Willa:I get it. I left and that hurt you. And I’m sorry. So sorry. It had to be that way—I had no choice, but...things are different now, and we need to have a conversation.
Knox:Leave me alone. You’re good at that, remember? I’m blocking your number.
Willa:Wait. You need to hear this.
Summoning courage I didn't think I had, I type the next few necessary words.
Willa:I’m pregnant.
The text bubbles appear and then disappear, and my hands are shaking as I wait for his response. I know he must be angry with me for leaving. But the Knox I knew deserves to hear this news. He deserves the chance to be a dad. And if he can forgive me, he deserves all the love I have.
Knox:Sounds like a you problem.
My trembling hands drop the phone on the cheap carpet. I rush to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach for the fifth time today. This time has nothing to do with morning sickness, though. This is all heartbreak induced.
A few minutes later, I reach out again, not for myself, but for our baby.
Willa:Knox. Please. I know you’re angry, but I’m serious. I just found out and I thought maybe we could talk.
Knox:Jesus. Take a fucking hint. We’re done. If you need money to get rid of it, get another job. But leave me the fuck alone. I’m serious. Blocking you now. If you try to contact me again, I’ll get a court order to keep your psycho ass away from me.
Willa:Can you really not forgive me for leaving?
Knox: I’ll never forgive you, but I’ve already forgotten you.
Some part of my brain that is actually still functioning snaps a few screenshots. Then, I turn the phone over and crawl into bed. I could call the restaurant where I work to see if I could get an extra shift tonight, but I don’t have the energy.
