I don’t sleep well, my mind full of unrest, but I manage to catch a few hours. Early in the morning, when sunlight cascades through the cracks in the window shades, I ditch the headphones and cocoon myself beneath the blankets. The only sound that enters is the steady rhythm of the bus chugging down another US highway.
A nagging feeling keeps me from falling back asleep, though.Regret.It’s something I don’t have much experience with.It pounds alongside my headache and burning eyelids, the aftermath of too many tears.
The new day brings perspective, and I realize I need to talk to Trent. We can’t just leave things the way they are. Not with another two months of this tour on the horizon. I won’t be responsible for hurting him, for fucking things up with the band. The more I consider last night and the words he said, the more I come to understand how upset he was. Something I didn’t expect when I demanded he leave.
I toss the covers off and step to the door, needing to use the restroom before I find caffeine and aspirin to kill the throbbing in my temple. Unlocking the doorknob, I twist the handle to open the door, and almost scream when I practically trip on the big body blocking my path.
Trent.
He groans, lifts his head, and rubs the sleep from his face. “Lexi.” There’s so much depth in the way he murmurs my name that my eyes begin to water. He scrambles off the ground, still blocking my path, but now I have to look up to meet his gaze.
The other guys must still be sleeping because the only sound that stretches between us is the groan of the bus motor. “What are you doing on the floor?” I say just above a whisper.
“I wanted to be close to you.” His gaze lowers and he reaches out until his fingers thread through mine. He squeezes, a simple touch, but it’s what I needed. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I’m sorry I left you last night. I should have never done that.”
“I pushed you.”
“But I know better than to fall for that. It won’t happen again. You can’t keep me away.” His lips kick up with a smile. “I’ll wait at your door until you open up.”
“I’m not good at letting people in.”
“We’ll figure it out together.”
“How can you be sure? What happens when you get tired of waiting? Or dealing with my shit. What happens after this tour is over?”
He steps closer still. Only a fraction of space exists between us, and even though I ache for his touch, to lean into him, I have to know these answers. I can’t go in blindly. I can’t get lost in him. The risk of losing myself is too high.
“You’re still wearing my necklace,” he whispers, his eyes focused at my throat.
“Well, it’s my necklace.”
He grins, lifting my hand with his until he holds them both against his heart. The rock steady beat slows my nerves. “I’m glad you didn’t take it off.”
“I’m scared,” I whisper. My eyelids lower because his stare is too much. Too knowing. Too full of love and promises and things I never expected.
“We figure this out. Together.” His lips ghost over mine in a gentle kiss, one that’s careful because any more and I might break. “Together.” He says again and releases my hand. Both of his arms wrap me in an embrace that brings my body flush with his.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away,” I whisper into his chest.
His lips rest atop my head as he hugs me tighter. “I’ve got you, Lex. If you push, I’ll pull. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?” The question leaves before I can reel it back.
He answers before I even try. “Always.”
