Ithought I was living the good life. That I had made it. That the years of being broke and chasing dreams were worth it, because I had achieved the ultimate dream: playing music for a living; gaining fame and all the perks that came with it, including a seemingly limitless supply of money and women.
I was wrong. So fucking wrong. Nothing comes close to the satisfaction and pure wellness that fills my soul. All from one woman. Because that woman is mine. Lexi owns me, everything I am, without pretense or bullshit. She’s the most honest, real person I know, and this past week together has been both exciting and enlightening.
She’s letting me in and I take that as a true honor. From city to city we give our best performances, and at night, tangled together in sheets, we learn each other’s bodies. But more than that, we learn our stories. Those sacred, insignificant moments in our lives, like first kisses and heartbreaks, tenth birthday parties and childhood friends, filling in all the spaces of our pasts. She hasn’t talked about her father, or the day Iz told me about when things went wrong, but I trust she will when she feels safe and ready. It’s quickly become my goal to earn that from her, because she’s already done that for me. I can tell her anything. Like I said, she owns me.
The guys have been surprisingly good with things. Sure, they give us shit and complain about having to listen to us have sex, when in reality, I know they’ve heard worse. Lexi gives it right back, though, her feistiness and sarcasm unscathed by our new relationship. If anything, I’m the one struggling not to go ballistic every time one of the guys throws out an insult. Even in good fun, a protectiveness I can’t contain comes over me.
We roll into Ohio, our third show of the week, and Bedo’s there to greet us before we head out for a press tour. The thought of leaving Lexi on the bus while we meet radio station hosts and give interviews doesn’t hold much appeal today, but it comes with the job.
“Go, do your thing. I need to work on stuff anyway,” she says, pulling on a tight T-shirt that shows her curves.
“A few things?” I raise a brow and meet her reflection from where I’m styling my hair in the mirror.
Her face lights up with a smile and she almost bounces on the balls of her feet. “Amie called me when you were taking a shower. After this tour, I’m recording my first full-length album. In a professional studio, using a legit producer, not paid for with my life savings. I’m so excited!”
“That’s great, babe!” I turn and pick her up when she jumps into my arms, squeezing her tight and swinging her in a half circle.
“Sorry, I know that’s pretty average news for you, but this is a big deal.” She pulls out of my arms and tries to play off her excitement, but her eyes still hold their joy.
“I remember what it’s like, Lex. It hasn’t been that long since 3UG was just a bunch of nobodies touring in a rented van, using tips to pay for gas and bumming a place to stay the night courtesy of our fans’ generosity. This is big. I’m so fucking proud of you. When are you going to record?”
“Not ’til September. But she wants to book the time now.”
“In LA?” I hate how needy I sound, but I can’t stand the thought of her being far away. I know it’s a possibility; more like a probability. We might share the same career, but logistically, it’ll be a challenge to be together after this tour.
“Amie said she’ll email over some options. Right now, I just want to focus on getting my best songs ready. Maybe write something new.”
“You’re gonna kill it.” I pull her in my arms for a kiss. The intention is a quick good-bye peck, but when her fingers thread into my hair and tug me closer, I lose myself in her spell.
Knock, knock, knock. “Break it up, lovebirds. Time to roll, T,” Austin yells through the door.
“That’s me.” I pull my lips away with a grin and Lexi shakes her head.
“You may need to fix that hair.” She lets loose a giggle and steps back, climbing onto the bed where her notebook and guitar await.
“Itwasperfect until someone messed it up.” Stepping in front of the mirror, I have to laugh.
“What a bitch.” She rolls her eyes.
“Nah. She can mess it up anytime.” I finish combing it down with my fingers and grab the door handle. “Later, Lex.”
“See you soon.”
Some stuff never gets old, like being onstage, or recording a new single, or even being awarded recognition from peers. But other stuff, like today when we’ve spent the last three hours going radio booth to booth, being asked the same questions and having to appear engaged when all I want to do is get back to the bus, I feel every bit the entitled rock star I am. Same fucking questions. Same fucking answers. It gets old.
“Trent, you’ve been known for being a bit of a player with the ladies. Can I ask, how does the field in Ohio hold up compared to other states?” The disc jockey asking this wears a stupid smile.
I tap an anxious beat against the denim of my jeans because I’m not exactly sure how to answer. Sure, Lexi and I aren’t seeing anyone else, but we also haven’t hadthatconversation. The one about how to deal with press, or really anyone outside this tour. I haven’t even approached the subject with Bedo, though I’m sure he suspects we’re together more than not. I lift my gaze to him instead of the DJ, and catch his narrowed glare. My guess is he also doesn’t approve.
“They say ladies never kiss and tell, so for this time only, you can call me a chick.”
The DJ cackles and I tune him out, holding Bedo’s gaze in a stare down until the next question hits my ears.
“They say rock is a dying art, especially with so many of the greats passing away this year, and now with the news of Richie Sands. How do you feel about that? Where do you see rock music in the next ten to twenty years?”
Thankfully Austin answers, yammering on about how great music always survives and lives on.
My fingers can’t move fast enough across the screen of my phone. Going straight to the search bar, I type in Richie Sands, and find the breaking news stories. He’s dying. Cancer. And because I can’t find an official press release, I can’t know how much of this is true and what’s exaggerated. I only know that I have to get to Lexi before she sees this.
