Claudia probably didn’t mean to sound patronizing, but in my state of mind, that was how I took her words. “Well, there’s something,” I insisted, “and I’m worried sick, Claudia. She wouldn’t just disappear on me. I’m getting a flight to the Hamptons, so I can ask her myself.”
Finally, Claudia cracked. “Nate, stop! Tammy isn’t in the Hamptons right now, she’s fine and she just needs some time to herself, okay? She called me on Friday to tell me that she was canceling with you and going on a trip.”
“Where did she go?” I demanded, moving to sit poised at the edge of the bench so I could spring into action the instant Claudia told me my destination.
“Nate, I understand you must be worried, but ‘time to herself’ doesn’t mean she wants you to play some sort of game of hide and seek with her,” Claudia pointed out firmly. “It means she wants time to herself. She’ll call you if she wants to. She’ll call me if she wants to. She’ll call neither of us if she doesn’t want to.” Claudia overrode me loudly as I tried to argue. “I have an upset toddler to manage, so goodbye. Give Tammy a few days, and I’m sure she’ll get back to you.”
I lowered the phone slowly. Knowing that Tammy was okay and just didn’t want to talk to me made things worse. If she would just talk to me, I could hold her hands and apologize for anything I did to hurt her, but she wouldn’t even give me that chance.
Just in case, I sent her another text message. This one just said simply,I know you’re taking some time to yourself, but could you please text me back? Please?
Tammy ignored my plea, and finally, I decided to give up for now. I had no choice but to accept what Claudia told me and wait for Tammy to contact me.
* * *
Three days later, I was sitting in my apartment in the middle of a work day, striding restlessly back and forth and wondering where Tammy could possibly be. I took the day off today on Mack’s orders, who had witnessed the decline of my ability to focus on anything at all over the past few days. He didn’t ask any questions, luckily. He just told me to take today off and to let him know if I needed more time. I figured he could guess that it had something to do with Tammy and tried to put himself in my shoes, although I didn’t know how he could do that with the small amount of information I had provided him.
Around lunchtime, I couldn’t take the silence, the stress and the worry anymore. I called Claudia again. This time, probably knowing exactly what I wanted, she didn’t pick up.
That’s fine,I told myself, restlessly picking at my fingernails.She doesn’t want to tell me where Tammy is? Fine. I’ll go to the Hamptons and check to make sure Tammy’s really not there, and then I’ll knock on Claudia’s door, and if Claudia is in Paris, I’ll go to Paris and get it out of her somehow.
Inspiration and hope struck me like a charging bull, and I dove for the phone I had set on the kitchen counter. How could I have forgotten? The guest house where Tammy lived didn’t belong to Claudia - it was her mother’s. Eilene and her daughter were so close, and Tammy was like a daughter to her, too. She had to know something. But did I have her number?
I didn’t, but Zeke did. I doubted my friend was in on this conspiracy to keep me away from Tammy because he asked no questions and had no qualms about providing me with Eilene’s number.
“Hello,” Eilene answered promptly.
“Hi, Mrs. Moore? This is Nate. Nate Jackson,” I added, just in case.
“Oh, hello, Nate. How are you today?”
“Fine, how are you?” Obviously, that was a lie, but I couldn’t just demand answers from Eilene. That approach hadn’t worked at all with her daughter, and I seriously doubted it would work with her either.
“I’m doing well. I can’t wait for my grandson and the girls to come home, though. It’s kind of lonely around here. Claudia is in France right now, and Tammy is out of town too. But I guess you know that, don’t you?” Eilene observed sagely.
“She won’t talk to me,” I admitted, glad I didn’t sound as miserable as I felt.
“Claudia told me she was taking some time for herself and not to worry,” Eilene offered.
I clutched my own arm until my fingers hurt, reminding myself sternly that I needed to be polite regardless of my feelings. None of this was Eilene’s fault. “Claudia told me that too, but I haven’t heard from Tammy in almost a week. She is always talking about how you’re basically a mother to her,” I pleaded. “This isn’t normal for her, Eilene. I know something’s wrong, and I know it’s probably my fault, but I want to fix it. I have to fix it.”
Silence reigned on the other end, but I didn’t interrupt it this time. I said my piece, and every word came from the bottom of my heart. I had nothing else to say to convince Eilene. All that was left was to offer silent prayers and wait for her answer.
“Do you love Tammy?”
“Yes.” I didn’t stop to think or even breathe before blurting the answer I had known deep inside for months. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving her. It just felt like things never worked out. Like it wasn’t meant to be.”
“We still have to work for things that are meant to be,” Eilene admonished. “Nothing is easy, and the things that are easy aren’t worth having. But if you really want to fix things between you and Tammy, you’re in luck because I’m a bit of a believer in second chances. Tammy is in Somerset.”
Somerset, of course! That should have been the very first place I thought to look. But hadn’t her mom moved away from Somerset? “Thank you. Mrs. Moore, thank you so much.” Fervor shook my voice, and I had to clear my throat and repeat the words before Eilene wished me luck and hung up the phone.
I needed to pack, but first there was something else I had to do. I opened my laptop, typed: motels in Somerset Kentucky, found the number of the only motel in the whole town and asked to be transferred to Tammy Burke’s room.
“Tammy, I know you didn’t want me to-”
A storm of sobbing drowned out my words. My suitcase hit the floor with a thud as I dropped everything, sitting on the bed and cradling the phone like Tammy could feel my touch through the device and murmuring little comforting words. I had so many questions, but I asked none of them. I just told Tammy to stay right there, not to move and that I was coming to get her. I wanted to stay on the phone with her forever, keeping her on the other end until I could wrap Tammy in a physical hug, but I had to hang up to arrange for a private jet to get me out of here.
“Hi, this is Nate Jackson, quarterback for the Lexington Colonels. I have an emergency and I need a private charter to Lake Cumberland Regional Airport in Somerset Kentucky. Right now… Yes, right now! If there’s a jet warmed up on the runway, tell whoever chartered it that I’ll buy them another flight if they let me have theirs. No, I don’t care how much it costs.” I listened to the woman on the other end confer with someone, but I knew they would work something out.
Eilene had given me hope, and if I clung to that and stopped fighting the undeniable connection between Tammy and me, everything would work out in the end between us.
