Chapter Thirteen
Nate
I sat in my seat at the long rectangular table, pen in hand as I watched Mack walk back and forth in front of a slideshow and talk about Lexington Colonels’- stuff - to the rest of the staff. That much I knew because of the email sent out on Friday, and the Colonels’ logo was on every slide. But if someone walked in late and asked me to catch them up on the meeting, I would have no clue.
Just as I had started to settle into this job and overcome some of my initial difficulties, the person who made this job bearable and helped me push myself to do better had disappeared. Tammy hadn’t contacted me since she sent me that single text on Friday, indicating she would be busy all weekend.
I had toyed with the idea of flying to the Hamptons anyway, but I thought that might seem desperate or clingy… both of which described me well after not seeing her for so long, but Tammy didn’t have to know that. Ihaddetected a strange, un-Tammy-like tone in her text, but I thought maybe she was disappointed that she couldn’t spend the weekend with me. She didn’t even pick up the phone call I tried right after she texted me, just to get a clearer idea of what was going on, but I thought at the time that wasn’t too odd because she might be busy with a client.
Now it was Monday, and worry followed me everywhere I went. Since I had started my job, not a day had gone by where we didn’t at least text, and most days we could squeeze in a call or two. I might be able to explain away a single day of no calls or texts, but a whole weekend and half of a Monday? Something was wrong!
I took a sip of coffee, and the beverage tasted like mud in my mouth. Restricting the number of calls and texts I sent Tammy had been physically difficult for me. Had the ones I allowed myself to send been too much for her? Our dates, flights back and forth between our jobs, long nights spent together and stimulating conversations were like a drug to me, washing away any worries or cares I had and leaving me wanting more. If I could, I would spend all my time with Tammy, and I really thought she felt the same way.
I resisted the urge to bury my face in my hands. That had to be it. The fake wedding, the lies I dragged Tammy into, and the time I constantly stole from her - it had to be too much, too fast. In high school, I had pushed her away. Now, the vicious cycle was back, except this time I ruined things by pulling her too close.
It was horribly ironic that both losses were because I couldn’t bear to lose Tammy. I had finally learned to say goodbye, but I had forced her into saying it with me one too many times.Has she moved on? Surely not… Tammy’s not that type of person.
Still, I wasn’t willing to just accept that Tammy didn’t want to talk to me, and I held out hope that I could be wrong. Maybe she really was just busy. Really, really busy… so busy that she couldn’t even send me a text letting me know she was okay.
Mack wrapped up the meeting after a brief period of questions and answers. And I managed to pick up enough from the chatter around the table to participate enough to sound informed, but I knew I would have to take a look at the slide presentation on my laptop for a refresher.
“Oh, hey, Nate,” Mack called as I made a beeline for the door. Trying not to look like a guilty child, I turned around questioningly. “Where’s your ring? I noticed you weren’t wearing it during the meeting. I hope nothing happened to it!”
Luckily, I had prepared a response for this question before my first day on the job. “I sent it back to the jeweler for resizing... Tammy wasn’t too happy about that.”
“Oh, no… I was referring to your Super Bowl ring.” Mack chuckled.
“Oh, ah. It’s right here. I just took it off earlier when I was tossing the football around with some of the guys during our lunch break.” I patted the pocket of my suit pants, pulled it out and slipped it on my finger.
“Just got to watch that knee,” Mack reminded me with a grin.
“Yeah, I know.” My face felt like it was on fire.
“Well, since you brought her up, how is Tammy, by the way? Weren’t you supposed to visit her over the weekend?” My heart sank as Mack leaned against the corner of the door and crossed his arms, settling in to talk.
“Um…” A dozen heartfelt messages waiting for an answer scrolled through my mind and reminded me of the truth, but I didn’t speak it. “Fine. She’s doing fine. Tammy’s just really busy. More clients than usual, you know. Everyone wants to get married before summer ends.”
“Kay and I had a summer wedding,” Mack smiled. “We had our dream destination wedding in the Bahamas, and we were blessed to have the money to help our friends and family join us. I remember when we arrived at the hotel-”
Mack had always been a big talker. And today he was really wound up after the meeting. I guessed he thought his conversation was entertaining when he went on and on about his wedding until I managed to politely extricate myself from the situation by telling him I had promised to call Tammy after the meeting.
Mack let me go with a smile and a wink, and I raised the phone to my ear to make this authentic. I waited as long as I dared as the phone rang, but ended the call before Tammy’s voice could pipe up and tell me to leave a message. I couldn’t take the biting disappointment that always came with the realization I got her voicemail - again.
A day of no contact from Tammy later, I knew something really was wrong. Rather than adding to the mountain of unanswered attempts to contact her, I changed tack.
“Oh, hey, Nate. This is a surprise,” Claudia said, talking over the sound of a child crying.
“I’m sorry to interrupt your day, but I have to know. Have you heard from Tammy?” I asked bluntly, sitting on a bench outside the stadium.
I might have missed the tiny pause that preceded her words if I hadn’t been listening intently for anything out of the ordinary. “Tammy?” she asked matter-of-factly. “Not lately. Why?”
“Because we were talking every day until Friday, and then she canceled our weekend plans, and I haven’t heard from her since.” I waited. The crying moved closer to the phone, then disappeared altogether. “Claudia?”
“Yeah, I’m here. She’s probably just busy. I can call her if you want, though.”
“I’ve been doing that.” Cracks of frustration began to shatter my forced calm. “I’ve been calling her several times a day every day since Friday. Something’s wrong, and you’re not worried, which means you’re in on it.”
“Nate, there’s nothing to be in on.”
