Chapter Fourteen
Tammy
I sat on a flimsy wooden bench outside the motel in Somerset, clutching the only jacket I had brought with me around my body. Even though it wasn’t cold at all, it was the closest thing I had to a hug, and I could really use one of those right now.
I could be getting one of those hugs I needed in a few minutes, or I could get chewed out. It was a wait-and-see kind of situation. Over the phone, Nate had been consumed with worry, and I had immediately felt like the worst person in the world for putting him through the past week. Running away from a problem was childish, especially for a whole week. A few hours, sure. A couple of days was a stretch, but still understandable. But a whole week? Even Claudia had called me yesterday, worried by my silence.
Hearing Nate’s voice over the phone finally broke that silence, and I cried for only the second time since I had driven here to Somerset. This was supposed to be a break, a time for me to think and reflect, but everything had gone all wrong.
My favorite restaurants had closed. My friends had moved away. It seemed the whole atmosphere of my hometown had changed. I constantly felt eyes were watching me as I strolled along the few sidewalks around downtown, wondering who this stranger driving a SUV with New York plates could be.
A car slowed as it approached the turn into the motel parking lot, and my heart jumped into my throat. But the car passed the turn and took the next right instead. I breathed a sigh of… I didn’t know. Definitely not relief. I wouldn’t feel relieved until I knew for sure that Nate didn’t hate me for being petty and doing to him what I thought he had done to me.
Car after car drove by, and I wondered almost angrily how there were this many cars in Somerset. I could swear fewer people lived here when I lived here with my mother. It was like a big plot among everyone to destroy what little calm I had left.
Finally, a car turned into the motel parking lot. By then, so many vehicles had disappointed me that I figured this one must be someone coming back to check out. Time for check-out ended in about an hour, so my mind applauded this logic.
It was someone checking in, but not to the motel.
Until I saw Nate get out of the car, I hadn’t known how I would greet him. I didn’t know if he would be angry, and I would need to start with an apology, or worse if he would be crying too… I didn’t think I could handle it if I made big, bad, Nate Jackson cry. It was stupid enough that I made myself cry with all my nonsense and didn’t take the adult approach of coming clean as soon as I found out about… our baby.
That did it. Crying, laughing and greeting him all at once, I took the last few steps toward Nate at a dead run. The star quarterback in him had me in his arms in less than a second, enveloped by a strength that defied logic by being wonderfully gentle.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured into his chest, feeling the bottom of his chin just graze the top of my head.
“It’s okay.” His voice was just as muffled, and warm breath stirred my hair.
I tried to back up, but the arms around me didn’t loosen. “If it’s okay, will you let go so I can explain?” My little laugh turned into a sniff, and the muscles in my chin trembled.
“Not yet.” He planted a kiss on top of my head, and I melted into his arms, all thoughts of leaving his embrace gone. A moment later, Nate finally stepped back, holding me at arms’ length and looking me up and down with worried brown eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I think so.” Finally, I could say that honestly. That was why I had ignored all Nate’s calls and texts. I didn’t want to lie to him and say I was fine, but I also couldn’t muster the strength within myself to explain things. I could feel that strength burning inside me now, fueled by the warmth the jacket alone hadn’t been able to give me. “Let’s go inside and I’ll explain.”
We did, and I sat Nate down on the bed, holding both his hands in mine. “Well, it’s like this,” I started, ready to tell the whole story about the birth control, waking up feeling sick and - no, none of that was important. I only needed two words to explain things to Nate. “I’m pregnant.” I flashed him a weak smile and wrapped my arms around my tummy.
For a second, I wondered if Nate heard me. His face, his demeanor - neither changed at all. He didn’t even blink.
Then, slowly, a smile washed across Nate’s handsome features like a cleansing wave. “Well, that’s awesome! Now I don’t have to be the only one of the guys with no kid to talk about on Thursday nights.”
“You-” I lost my voice to pure glee, sheer happiness and the kind of elation that shoots tingles through your whole body. “I-” Actions speak louder than words, so I threw myself at the most wonderful man in the entire world and hugged him until my arms threatened to give out. “Really? You’re… okay with it?”
“I’m more than okay with it.” Nate leaned back to look into my eyes, holding my shoulders to steady us both. “I love you, Tammy, and we’re going to raise this child together. And I mean together. I’m going to tell Mack that I can’t put on this act any longer. And that the job is just not working out for me.”
“I love you too.” It felt so good to finally say those words. The years and the circumstances had kept them bottled up inside me for so long, and when they finally burst free… my lips formed them like they’d been said a thousand times. And when Nate leaned in for a kiss, I could taste the truth of them lingering between us and making it so much sweeter.
“So, uh…” Nate looked around the small motel room.”What do you want to do now? Do you still want to stay a few more days here?”
“Well, no, not really. This place isn’t the same anymore… I guess we should go back to the Hamptons so we can be around our friends and decide what to do next.” The prospect of making those decisions didn’t frighten me because I knew we’d make them together. “But, uh… I have the room for another hour. Before I have to check out.” After spending a week separated from Nate, one little kiss didn’t feel like enough. I wanted to reaffirm that the dreaded physical distance really was gone, once and for all.
“Well…” Nate lay back on the bed and gently pulled me over with him. “Let’s make sure you get your money’s worth.”
“Of course.” I knew he could feel my smile through my lips, and I stretched it just a little wider to show him the true depths of my happiness. The world slowed down, letting us linger as long as we wanted on each new kiss. Each touch of our lips was a single moment, strung together like the stars of a constellation into a perfect whole. I could almost take this moment and stay here forever… almost.
My elbow rubbed against the smooth material of the buttons on Nate’s shirt and I blinked, almost offended that something as small as a button could interrupt us. That was an easy fix, though.
Rather than let the buttons goad me into ripping the shirt off, I undid them slowly, little plastic circle by little plastic circle, spending plenty of time exploring the warm skin beneath. I reached the last button and slowly folded the open shirt to his sides, breaking our kiss to admire the muscles framed by the fabric. He stroked his fingers through my long blonde hair - natural hair now, since it had almost grown out to the beautiful, shimmering length Nate remembered.
I swiped the hair out of my way and swooped down to kiss everything in sight. Nate’s fingers traced my shoulders, following the lines of my silky white tank top. His fingers slipped just underneath the straps, and I couldn’t stop a little shiver from giving away my excitement. The hands retreated, moving to the front and slipped under the white hem, leaving a trail of warmth up my stomach before they snuck underneath my bra.
