Because he’d cared for her and they’d always had fun together, he hadn’t had any trouble getting hard. But there wasn’t any passion or fire between them. After a few times together, he found himself avoiding her physically. She’d been inexperienced enough that she hadn’t realized how little they were intimate compared with most other married couples. In the end, he hadn’t even been able to fake it.
“The marriage was a disaster,” he said. “She couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and I felt guilty all the time. I tried to make it up to her but I didn’t know how. All I could think of was that I was the only man she’d ever been with and I never really wanted her that way.”
Cathy hugged her knees closer to her chest and reminded herself that she’d been the one to initiate this conversation. For reasons she couldn’t remember anymore, she’dwantedto know this information. Now she was sorry. The more he told her, the more real Evelyn became to her. Worse, the more similarities she saw in their situations.
She loved Stone and she knew he didn’t love her back. She was from a different world; she’d been a virgin. The only differences she could see were that she and Stone weren’t married and that he wanted her in his bed…at least for now.
Her body ached. It was as if every bone had been clubbed. It hurt to breathe, and her eyes felt gritty. His words cut her like daggers. She half expected to feel warm blood oozing down her arms and legs. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t really Evelyn. They were too similar by far.
Unrequited love is one of the oldest stories around, she thought to herself. Lord, but she hated to be a cliché. Unfortunately she hadn’t had a choice in the matter. She couldn’t help loving Stone any more than she could help breathing. It was as involuntary.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “You’ve gone pale.”
He must never know, she told herself as she gave him a smile. “I was just thinking about what you said. I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and Evelyn. She sounds like she was very nice.”
“You would have liked her.”
Cathy doubted that, despite the fact that the two women had something in common. And she didn’t think Evelyn would have liked her. They would have known each other to be the competition in a game they were both destined to lose.
He pulled back the covers and patted the sheet. “Come to bed,” he said.
She nodded, then stood up and slipped off her robe. Wearing only a short nightgown and panties, she joined him on the wide mattress. There was more to the story, she thought. But she wasn’t going to push to learn it all now.
His arms closed around her and pulled her close. “Are you sorry I told you about Evelyn?” he asked.
“Not at all.” Better to know, she thought.
He brushed her bangs off her forehead, bent his head and kissed her. “I want you,” he murmured against her mouth.
He did. She could feel his hardness pressing against her hip.
Cathy kissed him back and willed herself to respond. But for the first time since they’d become lovers, she wasn’t instantly ready for him. When he reached between her legs, he gave a start of surprise. She could feel that she wasn’t ready yet. To divert any questions, she plunged her tongue into his mouth. He stroked her breasts, and in a few minutes she felt herself preparing for him.
Later, when they’d both been lost in passion and had found their way back, she lay on her back in the dark. Stone slept next to her. Their hands were still entwined.
She told herself that it didn’t matter. She wasn’t Evelyn, and this was a very different relationship. But the words offered no comfort. Mostly because they weren’t true. Itdidmatter. There was no way for her to ignore the past, or the truth inherent in his story about his late wife. He hadn’t loved Evelyn, just as he didn’t love Cathy. Yet both women had loved him. In the end, that fact had destroyed Evelyn. What was it going to do to her?
* * *
Stone closed the file. “That’s enough for now.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Ula will be bringing lunch soon. She told me she’d made that mango-chicken salad you like so much.”
Cathy gave him a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “She’s very sweet, but I’m not hungry. Could you ask her to save it for me?”
He frowned. “You aren’t eating lunch?”
“Maybe later. I want to go for a run.” With that, she rose to her feet.
The early-September day was warm, but there was a pleasant breeze blowing off the ocean. Cathy wore a short skirt and sleeveless blouse. Both showed off her figure to perfection, and he found himself wanting her. No matter how many times they made love, he was still hungry for her. But she walked into her office without turning back, and suddenly he wasn’t sure what she would say if he asked her to join him for a quick lunchtime tryst.
Something had changed between them. He’d noticed it a couple of days after the party. He kept telling himself it was hormones or work pressures, but he didn’t believe that anymore. Was it because of what he’d told her about Evelyn? He didn’t want to connect the two but couldn’t figure out what else it could be.
Was she jealous? He shook his head. She couldn’t be. He’d explained about his first marriage. Cathy knew that he hadn’t loved Evelyn, at least not that way. He’d certainly never wanted her the way he wanted Cathy. She had to know that. Barely a night went by that he didn’t reach for her. Their lovemaking was wonderful for them both, and she was always ready for him when he touched her. They were perfect together. So what was the problem?
Maybe she was feeling as confused as he was, he thought. He enjoyed having her in his life. They got along together. Despite his attempts to avoid it, he’d come to care about her. He wasn’t worried about loving her—he would never love anyone ever again—but he didn’t want to lose her. He wasn’t sure where that left him.
There was a tap on the door. For a second, he thought Cathy was coming back. He looked up eagerly. Then he realized the noise had come from the door leading to the hallway, not to her office just to the right of his.
“Come in,” he called.
