Zelli peeked over once again.
Tahlen was quiet. “You don’t need to worry.”
“I wasn’t,” Zelli answered promptly. “I’m not going to issue any real judgments. I’m just going to listen.”
It made Tahlen swivel toward him, frowning. “What?”
“What?” Zelli echoed, confused to have gotten a frown. “I am not taking the place of Grandmother or trying to be The Tialttyrin. I’ll be there to listen, and I’ll relate everything to her later so she can send a messenger to authorize anything necessary. But…” Zelli paused to bite his lip, “Iama little nervous. You were right to think so. I shouldn’t have tried to pretend I wasn’t.”
After another moment’s staring, Tahlen faced forward again. “I don’t think The Tialttyrin would mind if you spoke for her. She trusts you.”
“But,” Zelli said what Tahlen wouldn’t, “I can’t be The Tialttyrin because I have more fae blood than the others.” He sighed. “I dotrynot to be too wild.”
It earned him Tahlen’s open attention again, and another frown. “You are hardly wild.” Tahlen said it as if the idea of Zelli being too fae was totally new to him and not something Zelli’s relatives and those in the village muttered about often.
Zelli thought of his fae problems, the things he did and imagined when he was holed up in his bedroom. He cleared his throat. “I could be.”
That should have been the end of it, but Tahlen spoke again. “So could anyone in your family.”
Lips parted in astonishment, Zelli stared at him, but Tahlen apparently had no inclination to ignore him at the moment.
“But they aren’t and never will be,” Zelli finally sputtered. “Yes, sometimes odd things will happen around them, or they will have strange eyes, or be like my parent, but I’m different. My problems are not like theirs, for one, or are worse.” He should not have mentioned his problems, not now with Tahlen seeming to take him seriously, and hurried on. “Icouldbe wild, like the fae bards are said to be.” And the human bards who emulated them, for that matter. “Icouldgrant wishes best left ungranted or… or use these teeth as I sometimes think of doing when people are irritating or too beautiful. I…. Sometimes, even though I see the need for an alliance with another family, I think that is the real reason Grandmother has begun to ask around; to get me out of the way.”
“To protect you.” Tahlen was stiff as he took his gaze from Zelli again. “Out of the way, in a sense, but not for any other reason.To protect you. If things go on as they are, even the houses that have stayed out of it will be drawn in. Once that happens, no one will be safe, especially not the head of the family. The Tialttyrin will be the first to lose their life. Perhaps it’s not the future that you want for you or for your family, but yours is not the only family trying to keep their heads down while seeming strong enough to deter any attacks. Your grandmother acts to keep you as safe as she can.”
“Grandmother asked any Tialttyrin still in the capital to either come home or stay away from the palace,” Zelli added, seething as he thought of it. “Few listened. And she can hardly make them, short of cutting off their money. Which, if she does, some of them might decide to ally themselves with another family who would like to take this valley.” Zelli would not forget that if the country ever grew stable again. He would not forget a single slight his relatives had given his grandmother. But he focused on Tahlen for the moment. “That’s why it’s a risk for you to be out here, as much as me. More, if you put yourself between me and any threats.”
He smiled a little when Tahlen stayed silent but did not ride ahead. It was not a happy smile, but he didn’t think Tahlen would notice.
“Though I understand why you’ve come along, you should know that I also had selfish motives to be here.” Zelli rolled a shoulder nervously as he made the admission. “I didn’t want when I meet my future intended to be the only time I travel. Whoever Grandmother chooses will find me dull, I’m sure, at least in that respect. I’ve never been to the palace. I’ve never even been across the mountains. Although, of course, I will try my best to be interesting to them.”
Tahlen gave him another glance, then yet another. “You’ve never seen more? Even as a child?”
Zelli did not think that was the question Tahlen had intended to ask with that first glance, but Zelli might have also been imagining things.
He sighed. “I’ve seen this valley all the way to the other end. But I was much younger and the memories are vague.” He didn’t ask about what places Tahlen had seen. It wasn’t right for him to demand confidences. “Thank you for agreeing to come with me, Tahlen,” he said instead, formally. “Grandmother will be reassured and… I find your presence reassuring as well. Although I am sure your weapons will not be necessary.”
“You hope,” Tahlen corrected.
“I hope,” Zelli agreed.
Silence returned between them. Zelli would have sighed about that too, but then Tahlen broke it, as soft as the fog dispersing around them. “About that. If something does happen, I want you to run.”
Lemon Blossom objected to whatever Zelli must have done upon hearing that. He absently patted her. “Run?” he demanded.
Tahlen nodded. “It’s the safest thing you can do. Run. Hide, if possible. If worse comes to worse… do you have a knife, even just for sharpening quills? A rock would do, in a pinch.” He did not say it as if this advice was theoretical.A rock would do, Tahlen said, because he must know that for certain. “But before all of that—run, and hide if you can.”
“That is…” Zelli opened and shut his mouth several times, “…insulting and outrageous and… I’m to just leave you to it, then? What if you’re hurt? What if you die?”
A mention of death earned him not even the smallest glance from Tahlen.
Tahlen’s voice stayed soft. “I am sworn to serve the Tialttyrin family, and I have mostly found it a house worth serving.”
Mostly.
Zellihadannoyed him. He flattened his mouth. “I will strive to do better.”
He did not look over to see what Tahlen did, even though Tahlen’s tone deepened with what might have been dismay. “You haven’t done anything wrong, Zelli.”
