Bess makes a few more turns and then pulls the car into Donovan’s Bar, the Centralia location. The parking lot is empty, because they are closed on Sundays like most things in this small town. She leads the way to the door and lets the four of us inside.
She flips on some lights and then fills a pitcher with beer. She carries it to a table and puts her car keys in front of Harlow. “Sorry, future mama. You’re the natural designated driver here.”
Harlow shrugs and slides the keys off the table. I’m so incredibly blessed in almost every way. My friends have blended seamlessly, even welcoming my aunt into the fold. Our husbands are all best friends, including Scott, which is remarkable since he’s barely twenty-two.
I say almost, though, because as much as I love my husband, I know without a doubt if pressed, he’s going to choose Liam every time over me. I guess that’s how it should be. I know with my kids, I’d lay down my life for each of them as well, but I just don’t know how I can continue to come second in life to my ex-husband. The shitty thing, though, is that I always knew it would be this way. Liam might be my ex, but he will always be Griffin’s son. My husband might be a bit dense sometimes, but he is an amazing father.
Ironic that one of the things that I love most about him is also one of the biggest problems in our marriage.
Hattie takes over the pitcher and starts pouring beers while Bess steps away and comes back with a bottle of water for Harlow. The dark, amber fluid sloshes over the side of the glass when mine is put in front of me. It distracts me for a moment, so I don’t register immediately that Bess is talking.
“I know this isn’t the same location in Harriston, but I figured you’d appreciate the spirit of the location. Since you and Griff started in the bar, I thought we could hide out here. I’m sure Donovan got the alert that we’re here from the alarm company, but he won’t say anything. You know that.”
I nod because Donovan has always been more one of us than one of them. As if to prove that point, the door opens moments later, and he comes in.
He takes a seat next to Hattie. Since Hattie and Charlie spilled the true story about how they got together, including the story about Donovan and Hattie’s friendship, it seems that they are fast on their way to being best friends again.
Bess winces. “I might have also texted him before we left, where I planned to go.”
I smile at her to reassure her. “No worries, it actually makes it more perfect.”
“So, are we starting with Griffin’s problems, or yours?” he asks me.
That catches me off guard. “Mine?”
Everyone suddenly gets interested in their drinks or the wood grain of the table. Donovan is the first one to find the courage to answer me.
“Griffin keeps prioritizing Liam, and that’s not a small problem. I am not minimizing what you are dealing with by suggesting that you have a completely separate issue going on here beyond his facilitating Liam being a dick.”
Over the years, I’ve managed to create my own narrative. I’m not much better than Griffin in that regard. I’ve seen that everyone is together at our regular dinners and other family gatherings, so in my mind, I’ve told myself that means that we’re all one big happy family. I’ve equated those moments to mean that everyone gets along equally, and that is not the case.
Charlie and Griffin are the closest to Liam outside of Claudia, of course. But if I’m really looking at us without rose colored lenses, I have to admit that Claudia isn’t the only one who is held at a bit of a distance from everyone else. Scott and Liam are probably the closest in age of the guys, and yet Scott is closer to Charlie, Griffin, and Donovan.
That makes me curious enough to ask questions I would never have vocalized even months ago. “Donovan, you are only about ten years older than Liam, and yet you’re closer to Scott. You aren’t even that close to Griffin, why?”
He swallows and looks to Bess before he answers. They’ve clearly discussed this before, because some silentcommunication goes on between them, and she nods her approval.
Donovan clears his throat before turning in his seat to face me. “You know that Liam came into my bar a lot when you were married. I felt so much guilt for knowing that he was stepping out and not saying anything to you. I know he’s done a lot of work to be a better person, but a man who will cheat on his wife, with her best friend, no less, that’s just not something I can wipe clean and move on with. Liam and I are friendly, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends. As for Griffin, we’ve had words in the past. I felt it was his place to rein Liam in, and instead, he made sure no one told you what was being said. The only reason I like him a bit more than Liam is that he was never there the nights that Liam left with other women. He’s had his son on a pedestal his whole life and refused to see his flaws. I’d say we’re friends now, but only because he treats you like a queen.”
Hattie takes a sip of her beer and mumbles, “That’s not the only reason you’re not very close to Charlie.”
He rolls his eyes at her. “I think we’ve come a long way. I’m always going to be watching him after all the shit he pulled years ago, but like Griffin, if he continues to treat you well, we’ll be good. I liked Elisa and Martin, I feel responsible in a way to make sure their girls are cared for.”
His words, while incredibly loving, hit me in the gut. I have to look up and blink fast to keep my eyes from leaking. Still, when I try to speak, my voice breaks. “I’m sure they’re very glad we both have you.”
Bess pushes my beer away a little. “I did not pour you a beer to make you all weepy. I want the pissed off rage demon that grabbed Griffin by the balls ten years ago. You need to make him see what he’s doing and reclaim your place in his life.”
Bess has never made a show of not liking Liam, but I realize now that she’s never tried being friends with him either. Oddthat I ever thought Audrey was my best friend. She never had the same ride or die energy that Bess has, even on a day she’s tired, PMSing, and under-caffeinated. All I have to do is say I’m going to kill someone, and she shows up with a shovel.
Seriously. I’ve had to start qualifying my statements by telling her I’m being hyperbolic. I don’t really need the temptation of a willing partner in crime when it comes to my ex-husband, especially when everything was fresh.
“You said my problems. I don’t need everyone pointing out that Griffin’s instinct is to shield Liam; I’m already painfully aware of that. So what is my issue, other than being a doormat?” I ask.
Hattie leans back in her seat. “Don’t look at me, I ran away from my family when life got hard, and hid in Florida for over twelve years. I’m not the one to point fingers.”
Bess shrugs. “Sorry, Wrenegade, I was going to go with doormat. I love you, but I already said I was trying to resurrect your more chaotic alter ego. I’m teamGriffin’s the problem.”
Donovan pointedly looks away. He might participate in girl talk, but he’s still a man. That leaves Harlow.
