“You know, every time my ex-husband, Nando, started seeing a new woman, I wondered what they had that I didn’t. At least, at first. Once the devastation passed, I spent so much time blaming myself. Eventually, I got numb, and even looked forward to his attention being diverted away from me,” she begins to explain.
“Shit, Harlow, that’s horrible,” Donovan says.
She waves him off. “Yeah, it was, but that’s not the point. Even when I had emotionally left my marriage, I still often found myself wondering why I got Mr. Hyde while they spent time with Dr. Jekyll. It was never about my feelings for him, but about how the years with him left me feeling about myself. It’s insidious how the abuse chips away at who you are. They do that onpurpose because they need you to be dependent on them. That’s the only way they can make you stay.”
Her words settle on me like a warm blanket. What she’s saying isn’t pretty. Unfortunately, I can relate to her story. “Griffin thinks that my reactions to Liam’s relapse mean that I’m still in love with him. I know that I’m not, but I still don’t understand why it has always bothered me how hard he tries to be a good man for Claudia. There’s not even a small part of me that wants to trade places with her, but I still wonder why she gets the effort he never gave to me.”
“Healing isn’t linear,” Harlow repeats from our conversation earlier.
“That’s for damn sure,” Hattie agrees.
“So, what do I do?” I ask all of them.
“You’re doing it, babes. The only way to deal with this is to push through it. You have to start admitting the things you’ve run from for years. You don’t like Liam. You are uncomfortable around Claudia, and this wholeone big happy familything you show is bullshit,” Bess chips in.
“Damn, don’t sugar coat it or anything,” I grumble.
She gives me one slow blink. “I think you’ve done enough of that, and that’s kind of the problem. Lies will always catch up to you, even the ones you tell yourself. You’ve been telling yourself for a long time that everything is fine, it’s not fine, and it’s catching up to you now.”
“How can I make it stop?” I ask them.
Every single one of them gives me a sympathetic look. That doesn’t fill me with hope.
“I’m afraid once you’ve started an emotional awakening, there’s no stopping it,” Hattie says.
“Maybe amnesia,” Harlow says. “I wouldn’t recommend that route. Any kind of growth hurts, Wren, but it’s always worth it.You and Griffin will be okay. If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass, we’ll give Bess a lot of sugar and unleash her.”
Donovan fake shudders. “Anything but that. I don’t know that he’s committed that level of offense.”
Bess slaps him on the arm.
He looks pointedly at me. “See how violent she is?”
“You guys are awesome,” I gush. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Hattie wraps her arm around my shoulders. “You’ll never have to find out. Not ever again. Are you ready to go home and face down your old man?”
“Emphasis on old,” Bess says and winks at me.
“The only way out is through,” I say to myself. “Yeah, let’s go,” I say louder to them.
Chapter Twenty-One
Griffin - Present
I lookat my phone for possibly the hundredth time. Charlie reaches over and takes it from my hand.
“I know patience is a foreign concept for you, but try and let that thought grow in that thick block where your brain is supposed to be. You need to give Wren a little bit of space. She’s not leaving you, she’s just taking a moment to collect herself. If you go all caveman right now, that might change,” he says.
The party broke up not long after the women left. Only Charlie and Scott are still here. Donovan managed to sneak past Charlie and go after them. Claudia took off after speaking to Wren. I’m not even sure Liam got a chance to talk to her like I’d hoped he would.
Charlie narrows his eyes at me. “I can practically see thought bubbles forming over your head. Please tell me you’re thinkingabout how to get Wren to forgive you, and not worrying about what is going on between Liam and Claudia.”
You have to give a shit what people think to lie to them. Charlie is my best friend, but even for him, I don’t care enough to tell him what he wants to hear. “I was just wondering if all of this was for nothing. Wren is pissed at me, and for what?”
He reaches for the front pocket of his shirt, then drops his hand. When he notices me watching him, he shrugs. “Hattie found my cigarettes again and got rid of them. I wouldn’t even want to smoke right now if you weren’t such a dumbass. Did you really ask what the point is? You just don’t get what’s bothering her, do you?”
He acts like this is some kind of complex equation he just can’t figure out how to solve. “Look, I know that Wren is upset with Liam right now. You were here when they were bickering last week, remember?”
