“What?”
“About all that shit. I’ve never said anything to you or Tuck about the kid, so, who told you?”
He winces. “Horton.”
“When?”
“When you started working here.”
Gritting my teeth together, I bite out, “Are you fucking serious? How come you two never mentioned shit?”
His weird ocean-like eyes fall to slits. “Because it’s never mattered to either of us, you asshole.”
“How!” I sit up, gripping at my wayward hair. I haven’t done anything with it in days—hell, I don’t even remember the last time I actually showered. I do a quick sniff test.Way too fucking long ago.
“Does it matter to you that I knocked up my high school girlfriend at sixteen? Became a father at seventeen? Or that I walked out of my father’s life for years, never to reconcile with him before he died? Does it matter to you that Tucker fell in love with his brother’s girl? No? Okay. Then we never cared what happened in your past. You made mistakes. Tucker made mistakes.Imade mistakes. We all fucking did, but that’s life, Gaige. We’ve all moved on. We’ve all grown from those mistakes and we strive every fucking day to be better men than we were then, and we’re all doing a damn fine job at it.”
Holding my head in my hands, I let his words sink in. I had no idea they knew the details of that night. I never divulged it all. Sure, bits and pieces here and there, but I never told them everything. I couldn’t, couldn’t let them know I was the one who caused my parents’ car accident, that I’m the real reason they’re dead.
“I can’t believe you two knew.”
“Of course we did. We’re your best friends. We know everything about you.” He sniffs dramatically. “Like how you haven’t showered in probably four days. You fucking reek, man.”
I grimace. “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”
“Are you really still drunk?”
“Kind of. It’s wearing off now.”
“How are you going to fix this?”
His question lances through me. “Is that even possible? Fixing this?”
Hudson goes quiet. I grow worried. If he doesn’t think I can do it, I can’t. He’s the king of fixing shit. I’m the king of screwing it up.
“Yes.”
“How?”
“Go in there guns blazing. Tell Mercy you’re done taking her shit. You’ve earned the right to have guardianship of those kids, especially since you’ve been taking care of them more than she has. Tell Haley you love her, that you fucked up and you shouldn’t have let her walk away and think you gave up.”
I glance back at him, brow raised.
He shrugs innocently. “What? Rae told me.”
I laugh, and it’s the first real laugh I’ve had in way too long. “Figures. Gossiping hens, the two of you.”
“We gotta keep the gang in line somehow.”
“How do you evenbea father?” I say suddenly. “What if Mercy is right? Maybe I’m not ready for four kids. I can barely handle my own life half the time—there’s no way I can manage theirs.”
“Truth? Being a dad is simultaneously the hardest and easiest thing I’ve ever done. When you raise a child, your life becomes full of wild cards. You never have any idea what to expect from one moment to the next. But, that’s the beauty of it too. It’s all random, fun. Life gets interesting, in a good way. You stop worrying so much about shit and you just live. I know a lot of people talk about how being a parent weighs them down and makes them tired and full of want, but I don’t feel that at all. Joey gives me a new sense of myself and of life. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t, and never will, regret becoming a parent, not ever.”
“Do you ever mess up?”
“All the time. We all do.”
“How do you not screw her up?”
