He sits up, sliding forward until we’re sitting elbow to elbow. “I’ll tell you a secret,” he says, leaning in close. “I’m not perfect, but I’m damn close. That’s how.”
I roll my eyes and huff. “I’m being serious, Hudson!”
“So am I!” he defends. “There’s no magic trick to parenthood, Gaige. It’s all a guessing game. Joey’s alive and happy—that’s how I know I’m not screwing her up. That’s all I can ask for.”
“Do you think I’d be a good parent?”
He smirks. “Gaige, you’d rival me in the perfect parent category any day.”
“How reassuring,” I deadpan.
Knocking his arm with mine, he says, “There’s that charm we’ve all been missing.”
“I never said thank you,” I say quietly after several minutes of silence.
“For what?”
“Taking her home the other night. I’m the worst husband ever. I didn’t even think about how she’d get home. I just needed to get away and booked it out of there like a moron.”
“It’s no problem, man. She was pretty distraught though. I could barely make out what she was saying. She even hugged me. It was a rough night.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop. Stop saying that to me. I don’t need your apologies.”
“She does.”
“You’re fucking right she does. So, what are you going to do about it?”
I cough out a sad laugh. “I doubt she’ll answer my calls.”
“Have you tried?”
“I think this is something worthy of more than a phone call or text.”
He rubs his fingers over his chin. “Hmm. Good point.” Snapping his fingers, he bounces in his seat. “Go to her! Go to the apartment on your hands and knees and tell her how much of a stupid, selfish asshole you are. That should do it.”
“I think you really just wanted to call me names right there.”
He shrugs. “Probably. But…”
“I think”—thick swallow—“I’m going to go talk to my wife.”
Clapping me on the back, he smiles wide, saying, “Good idea, Gaige. Good damn idea.”
The last time I found myself in this hallway in a state of distress, I was waiting for Haley to unlock her door and let me in.
This time, I have a key.
Yet, I’m still standing here, staring at a door that’s ruthlessly taunting me. The need to flee eats at me until I’m ready to vomit. Everything feels like it’s too much. I want nothing more than for Haley to open the door right now so I don’t have to. I want to go back to when I was simply nervous to be her friend.
Now I’m worried I can’t save my marriage.
Fuck, time is a funny, fickle bitch.
After my talk with Hudson, I was sent home…well, back to Tucker’s; that isn’t my home anymore. In fact, it hasn’t ever been home. This place, this apartment, Haley…that’s home.Sheis home. I’m just not sure if I’m welcome here anymore.
I flatten myself against the wall as much as I can. Somehow, finding something to attach myself to centers me. Right now I’ve anchored myself to the wall, too scared to let go and test the waters. What if I’m too late? What if she’s moved on? Realized she made a mistake marrying a man with a stupid amount of baggage?
