“You'rebeing ridiculous.”
“AmI?”
“Yes!”I fired at her, with an incredulous burst of laughter. “And it never should'vehappened in the first place. Like, just because he and his girlfriend broke updoesn't mean I'm free frommyrelationship.”
“Wait,he broke up with his girlfriend?”
Groaning,I nodded. “Yes. He and Tracey are done.”
“Why?Because of you?”
Reluctantly,I nodded again. “Heeludedto that, yeah.”
“Kenny!”Mom squealed excitedly, grabbing at my arm. “This is exactly like the stuff youwrite about! Gorgeous guy breaks up with his girlfriend to convince thepregnant love of his life that she should—”
“Oh,my God, stop,” I groaned, shaking myheadand layingmy hands over my eyes. “Let's remember I'm still with Brendan, okay? I'm notsingle, and I'm not going to just leave the father of my baby because someguy—”
“Oh,knock it off already,” Mom grumbled, rolling her eyes. “I’m so sick of hearingyou say this crap. Remember all those times you've told me about those annoyingheroines, who perpetuate stupid situations for the sake of keeping the storygoing?”
“Uh-huh,”I muttered, already knowing where this was going.
“Well,stop acting like one.”
“Exceptthis is real life,” I reminded her. “And Brendan is having this baby with me,whether anyone likes it or not. Everybody is acting like it's such an easything to just break up with him, knowing very well that he would see my ass incourt.”
“Andifit came down to that, we would handle it. But risking your ownhappiness is silly,” she reasoned gently. “Especially when we both know youwouldn't be putting up with him otherwise.”
“Youjust want me to be with someone else'causeyou hatehim,” I pointed out, smirking.
Momscoffed, waving a dismissive hand through the air. “Forget about this otherguy. Let's pretend for a second he isn't even in the picture. You and Brendanhave never had a stable relationship. He's neglectful. He rarely takes you intoconsideration. I mean, you're over here, sick and exhausted, and where the hellishe? Shouldn't he be here, taking care of the motherof his child, instead of making her do it alone?”
Divertingmy eyes, I pulled in a deep breath and immediately fell into a coughing fitthat left me wheezing and clutching at my chest. Two weeks earlier, I had comedown with a cold, and the cough and heaviness in my chest had lingered longerthan I would've liked. Taking a deep breath always seemed to do me in, and Iwas left with an aching back, tight chest, and a raw throat, as I struggled toregain the control over my lungs. Now, Mom was here, witnessing one of thesefits for the first time, and the concern in her eyes scared me.
“Kenny,you really need to get this checked out.”
Witha hand over my chest, I nodded. “I know. The doctor doesn't have any openingsuntil next week, though, so—”
“Whatabout your OB/GYN? Are they aware of this?”
“Isee them next Wednesday,” I told her. “A few more days isn't going to kill me.”
Sheeyed me withskepticism, butseemed to hesitantlyrelent. We ate dinner—Italian, not wings—and talked more about Brendan and howcrucial it was for him to step up to the plate. I knew that much was true.Whether we were romantically involved or not, the man was going to be a parentand if he struggled to be there for me now, how could I be confident that he'dbe there after the baby was born? Of course, moving in together should help,but how could I be sure? Maybe me being at his apartment meant he'd just be outmore.
So,after Mom reluctantly left to head back home, I called Brendan, only to beanswered by his voicemail. I tried twice more, and both times I was directed toleave him a message. But I didn't. I just hung up the phone and tossed it tothe other side of my bed, where Mrs. Potter glared at me irritably for wakingher up.
“Sorry,”I muttered, laying a hand on herbackand strokinggently. “I wouldn't have to throw phones if he'd just answer me.”
Andthe more I thought about it, the angrier I got. He knew I wasn't feeling well,and of course, he knew I was nearly six months pregnant. How was he not morealert? He was supposed to bethereand I was supposedto be able to count on him. But even though he was onlyblocksaway, I felt all alone in this big city of millions of people.
Imissed Goose and his bar. I missed having someone else to talk to and rely on.I wondered if he thought about me at all, but knowing that he did, just as Ithought of him. And I felt stupid, for allowing this to happen at all. I feltstupid for being with Brendan and never putting my foot down. I hated that Iallowed him to be this way to me, and for what reason? Because he just so happenedto knock me up and I didn't have it in me to leave him, out of fear of what hemight do if I did? It was foolish and cowardly, and I couldn't stand that I'dallowed myself to become this person, so weak and unwilling to stand up to thisman I once had no problem breaking up with over lesser things.
“Ineed to end things with him,” I told Mrs. Potter. She dodged her eyes towardme, as her ears perked up at the sound of my voice. “And no, it's not becauseof Goose. Brendan wanted this baby, and he needs to remember that. He needsto—”
Mylungs seized and I coughed uncontrollably into my fist, as Mrs. Potter scurriedunderneath the bed. I flattened a hand to my chest as I struggled to stifle thecough and breathe evenly. When it finally subsided, I grabbed for my inhaler onthe nightstand. In those two weeks of being sick, I'd used it more than I everhad in my life, after years of suffering from weather induced asthma. It hadalways been a security blanket of sorts, there only for when I absolutely neededit, but now, it was critical to my health and comfort.
“Momis right,” I croaked, after taking two puffs from the inhaler. “This isn'tnormal.”
Mrs.Potter watched me with concern, as I laid my phone beside me. I smiled weaklyand reached out to stroke her head. “Don’t worry,” I told her. “I won’t forgetto call Brendan. I just can’t do it now.”
