“Love me. When it’s hard, and I’m failing, love me anyway. While I’m learning how to show you my heart, while I’m busy crumbling the walls I’ve spent twenty years building,please”—my eyes close as another silent sob racks through my body—“just love me anyway. And if you do, I’ll love you right back.” I watch his chest rise and fall faster, his eyes never straying.
I place my hand on the center of his chest, needing to ground myself. The immediate warm press of his hand on top of mine, holding it against him as he steps closer, warms me to my very bones. In this moment I’m not nervous or afraid, and for once in my life I am completely and utterly certain about what my future holds, and it’s in the palm of my hand.
“I love you, Caleb. And I’m scared as hell to love you, to want you. To let you all the way in. But I want to. I want everything that comes with having you. I want to love you deeply…I just don’t know how yet. But I’m going to try. I just need you to love me while I learn how to do this.” Seeing the spark of life return to his eyes makes the rain feel like soft clouds as it forms around us, feeling like the only two people in the world. “I left the bar because my heart searched for you too. I couldn’t find you and everything felt wrong. The only time anything in my life has felt right, has felt like it’s truly been mine, is when it’s you.” Each word feels like a weight lifting from my chest and I can feel the tears of relief sliding down my face together with the rain. The two of us are drenched and panting, our hearts almost beatingin sync now, mine nearly leaping out of my throat when I close my eyes and feel the warm press of his hands on my cheeks. His thumbs swipe my tears, lingering on my freckles. I let my eyes open, and Caleb’s full, brimming smile hits me like a breath of fresh air and I nearly sob all over again.
“Rosebud.” He whispers my name like a prayer. “I knew you were secretly obsessed with me.” I don’t have a chance to laugh or tease him because, with the last word, Caleb takes my lips in his, closing the final distance. His body envelops mine in warmth and love as he seals every word like a promise. His kiss is hard and full of so much hope. I kiss him right back, my hands clenching in his shirt and pulling him against me like a goddamn lifeline. I kiss him with the heat from my pain, with apology and remorse. I swipe my tongue with his in promise of what we are, of what we’ll be, and everything we never thought we’d have. We crash together like a summer storm, and I’ve never felt like I belonged more than I do right now, in his arms.
“It’s always you, Rosie,” he whispers against my lips, his forehead against mine and his eyes squeezed closed. “I need you too. I’m so fucking in love with you.” His lips descend onto mine again. Finally I can see the future I am destined to live, and for once I don’t want to run and hide from it. Instead, I want to run toward it. Headfirst and with Caleb’s hand in mine.
CHAPTER 40
why are our clothes on again?
Caleb
My apartment door slams closed, soaking wet clothes peeled and tossed on the floor with frantic need as I cling to Rosie, my lips on hers like a fucking lifeline.
“I love you,” I whisper against her wet skin, and when we’re both naked and panting, collapsing to the bed, she rakes her nails up my neck, gripping my hair and latching her tongue to my throat.
“I love you, too,cariño.” Her teeth drag against my skin and I hiss. My hands grip her hips and flip us so she’s straddling my waist, her tits pressing down into my chest. “I got your voice messages,” she whispers, and I wrap my arms around her waist, rolling us again as she squeals a little giggle.
I quickly pin her hands above her head and narrow my eyes. “What voice messages?” My stomach turns a little sour at the roll of her lips and the sorry look in her eyes.
“It’s okay. I deserved it, and I felt it.” Ihate,with every cell in my body, the tear leaking out of her eyes. I lean down and kiss the two tears away and then take her lips again, this time softer,savoring the taste of her, the feel of her, and enjoying the way her body goes lax beneath me. “I choose you, Caleb. And I will always choose you.” Her words are a balm against all my jagged edges. I knew she’d picked me. When I saw her in the middle of the street, soaking wet and crying, holding her heart out in the open. I never needed to say a thing because the moment I saw her sad, whiskey eyes, I wasn’t letting her go again.
“And I choose you, Rosebud. Now let me make you feel good.” She arches her back as I lean down and flick my tongue against her nipples, sucking one into my mouth and dragging my teeth across it.
“Fuck, I missed you. And your tongue.” Her head throws back, and I let the full weight of my body press against her as I kiss my way down her stomach. I let go of her hands and they immediately find purchase against my skull.
“I missed you, and this tight little pussy,” I whisper, making my way hastily down her soft body, letting my tongue and lips taste her, leaving a trail down to where I wish to be buried.
I lean back and stare down at her, lazily dragging a finger down her seam, feeling how needy she is and reveling in the way a husky moan rips from her throat. “I missed the taste of you. Missed feeling you come on my tongue. Can I make you come, pretty girl?”
“Please.”She moans the word and I can’t fight the smile that lights up my face. I reward her pretty words with a slow lick over her clit.
“Mmmm. I also missed your begging. I do love it when you beg for me.” Her eyes snatch to mine and they plead. It’s an unusual look, and where she is usually fiery and snarky, her eyes still look a little sad. I lean up and kiss her soft lips again, locking her eyes with mine.
“What is it, Rosebud?”
“I…” She stammers, and I realize what the look on her face is. Its vulnerability. It’s the same look she had when I held her in the bath. When she asked me to hold her and wasn’t sure how to ask for the affection. I wrap my arms around her and hold her naked, beautiful body against mine, my heart aching with how full it is of her.
“You can tell me anything, Rosie. Talk to me.” I kiss her cheeks and I’m pleased to find her eyes a little more settled, her face a little softer.
“I want…I don’t?—”
“Breathe.” I kiss her nose and she smiles gently, fluttering her eyes closed.
“I want you, to make love to me. I don’t…I don’t want to feel like a toy. I don’t want to use each other. I want?—”
“I love you, pretty girl. You’re not a toy, and I never used you. Your heart is everything to me.” I kiss her lips and her eyes slowly blink open, looking happy but vulnerable. I settle between her legs, my fingers trailing down her stomach and lazily finding her entrance and playing gently with her clit.
“I’m going to make love to you and I’m going to worship this body.” I drag the pad of my finger over her clit, making her breath hitch as I slowly slide a finger inside her.
“Caleb,” she whispers with pleading eyes as I slowly slip in a second finger, curling them, finding that sweet spot, and stroking her slowly.
“Fuck.”
“That’s it, pretty girl.” Her fingers dig into my shoulders, and when her pouty lips part on a moan, I can’t help myself. I slip my fingers free, notching my cock at her entrance and pushing in, in one slow stroke, letting my lips fall to hers.
