I order another drink, and down it just as fast.
Don’t let them take it.
What the hell am I doing.
Take it back. That is your power. Don’t let them have it.
Not once had Caleb ever tried to take my power from me. All he ever wanted was for me to shine and for him to be standing there next to me so he could be along for the ride. He didn’t want me for what I offered him, for how I added to his life. He just wantedme.He never once asked a single thing from me, only to keep my power for myself. I always thought being in a relationship, being in love, was settling. That I’d be sacrificing a part of myself for the sake of another. But Caleb…he never wanted any of that. He refused to let me change any part of myself and instead encouraged me to take. He wanted me to take everything while he cheered me on.
What the hell have I done.
It’s not too late…right?
A buzzing sense of urgency sweeps through me so fast I nearly faint.
This can’t be goodbye. This can’t be forever; I can’t let it. Caleb’s never been chosen first, he’s never believed that he was worth it all, andfuck.I fed right into that when I didn’t immediately choose him.
Well fuck that. I slam my drink down, feeling appropriately buzzed, my heart racing in my chest. The feel of my feet hitting the ground is the only thing stopping me from descending into a panic.
There is nothing for me in this bar. I don’t want to be this person, I want…I want the life I could have had if I’d chosen Caleb. I wanthim.
But it’s terrifying because if I run out that door…no.I don’t let the fear take over. Because I’m choosing Caleb.
I choose him.
I stand from my stool, feeling the intensity of Stella’s stare fixate on me. I give her a wink, and her responding little smile puts us on the same page as I walk with purpose to the front of the venue. It’s almost like the skies feel the ache in my chest as the clouds open up and the rain begins to pour.
“Oh, that is so fucking cliché.” I look up at the storming clouds, thankful that it’s more of a light drizzle than a full-on downpour, but I don’t let it stop me. I turn in the direction of his apartment and keep going. I don’t want to run, because I want to have my breath when I find him, So I can tell him I’m sorry, that I was wrong. But with each block I pass, his apartment feels farther and farther away. Eventually. My fast walkingdoesturn into a run.
I round a corner, too busy swiping wet hair and water from my face that I miss the person rounding the corner at the same time and we shoulder check each other. The air is momentarily knocked out of me and I spin to apologize before coming to a complete standstill.
Because it’s him…he’s here. He looks like he’s on a mission himself, giving me only a double take after I’m already standing frozen in place.
“Rosie?”
“Hey,” I whisper softly over the sound of the light patter of rain. The two of us look ridiculous, wet and drenched, standing three feet apart while the rain surrounds us. But I’m completely entranced by those eyes that gleam with determination. He pulls back his hood and his messy hair dampens with each drop of rain.
“What…what are you doing?” He shakes his head like he’s trying to think straight, and I can feel the tears now formingin my eyes. One betrays me and drops down my cheek. “Is everything okay?” he asks, his brows puckering in concern as his eyes do their usual full sweep of my face.
“No.” I shake my head, trying to stop the sobbing. “It’s not.” I can’t shake the tears that won’t stop falling, but I almost feel warm under his gaze, I feelright.I never wanted to be vulnerable like this. I was afraid to let myself let someone in like this. But I’m not afraid anymore. Looking into his eyes right now, I’ve never felt more at home. “You walked away.”
“Why are you crying? What happened?” He steps a little closer.
“I went to the bar. I wanted to forget everything.” I know he knows what I mean because I can see the clench of his jaw and his hands tightening into fists by his side.
“I know.” There is an edge to his words as he speaks.
“You do?”
He blinks, slowly, taking his sweet time to explain himself. “I went to find you. Addison wasn’t sure…but then Stella texted me.” That traitor. I’ll have to thank her for that later.
“You came looking?”
He basically snorts at my question, his hands resting on his hips as he looks away, shaking his head. But after a moment, he lets his stunning, almost-purple eyes find mine again, and his face softens into something like pain…and a whole lot of longing. “I’ll always come after you, Rosie,” he says softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner, I’ve been an idiot, but I came. For you. Because everywhere I go, my eyes search for you, the same way my heart does.”
“I left the bar to come find you too.” He blinks, his lips pressed into a firm line that tells me…he doesn’t quite believe me yet. “I don’t want to fight it. I don’t want to hide or think about consequences anymore.” I can’t help the sob that leaks from my lips. I let myself step forward, nearly leaping with joy when hedoesn’t back away. “I want to let go and I want this for me. For us.” The two of us seem to be a little lost for breath, the rise and fall of his chest matching mine. “Play one more game with me?” I breathe the words, and it feels like the world freezes for a moment as his eyes continue to bounce between mine.
And then I breathe, because he steps forward. “Stakes?” The tiniest little tip of the corner of his lips has hope blasting to life in my chest. I suppress all my fears and I look him dead in the eyes.
