When I roll over though, my hope quickly disappears as I find the bed empty beside me, the sheets cold and the house silent.
“Han?”I call, even though deep down, I know she’s not here.
Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I see it’s almost ten.Scrubbing a hand down my face, I stand and pull on my briefs before wandering out to the kitchen, hopeful that she is here and maybe she just didn’t hear me call out.
But the house is empty and when I glance out the front window, I see her car is also gone.
“Fuck,” I mutter, walking back to the bedroom to grab my phone.I hit redial on her number but it goes straight to voicemail.Taking a quick breath as I try to calm myself down so I don’t totally lose it with this message, I exhale before speaking.“Han, babe, just calling to see where you’re at.I just woke up and you’re…well you’re not here, so yeah.Anyway, call me, okay?Love you.”
I hang up, hitting the bathroom for a piss before I wander back out to the kitchen.I put on some coffee, knowing I’m definitely going to need it today on account of the past forty-eight hours, before I collapse into one of the kitchen chairs as I wait for it to brew.
And that’s when I see it.
The note on the table that’s addressed to me.
Dear Leo,
I know you said we could work this out and I so badly want to believe you that we can, but I just don’t see how.Everything is a mess and a lot of it is my fault, but not everything and I’m not sure how we’re ever supposed to get past that.
Please know that I love you.So fucking much.I wish all of this could be different.
I’ve got to take care of some things, but I’ll be back for my shift tonight.
Love Hannah.
I re-read it several more times, trying to make sense of her words and what they might mean.But I have no fucking clue.I have absolutely no idea if this means she’s ending things with me or what the hell she could be taking care of that she’d just disappear like she has.
I try calling her again, but just like before, it goes straight to voicemail and this time, I don’t bother leaving a message.
Slumping back in my chair, I let out a long breath.
Fuck.
Chapter Thirty-One
Hannah
I pull into the familiar parking garage, my heart kicking up a few notches at the idea of being here.It’s not just because of what happened when I was last here, but more because of what I’m about to do.It’s certainly not something I thought I would ever be doing, but seeing Leo asleep on my couch, waking up next to him in my bed this morning, made me realize, he’s worth the risk.
Parking the car, my head falls back against the headrest, letting out a slow breath, attempting to convince myself I’m doing the right thing.In all honesty I could be making things so much worse.I have no idea, but I have to try.
I take the elevator out of the garage, stepping out onto the street where I’m hit with the busyness that comes from a city as large as San Francisco.I’d like to say I miss the hustle and bustle, but I don’t.I love the quiet stillness of the Somerville vineyards and my house that is basically in the middle of nowhere.A horn blows and a cab whips by sending a blast of air blowing back into my face.
I stand there on the sidewalk, taking a few small steps but returning to the place I started.I’m nervous, but more than that, I’m embarrassed.I don’t want to go in there looking like I’m coming to ask for forgiveness or that I’m cowering with my tail between my legs.There has never been a time where I would say that quitting The Yellow Door was wrong.Do I wish I would have done it differently?Maybe, but even that I’m not certain about.
I’ve gone back and forth a million times over this whole thing and the only thing I’m certain about still is that I love Leo.I’m here because of him.I’m here because I need to clear the air and figure out if there’s a way to resolve this animosity between Leo’s dad and me.I think if it’s going to be hard for anyone, it’s going to be me more than him.He treated me like garbage and in the end, when I quit, he needed to hear that he was awful to work for.Maybe no one has ever stood up to him the way I did.
I certainly didn’t give it a chance to play out there in Leo’s kitchen when I was supposed to be meeting his parents for the first time.Seeing his father’s face staring at me, the recognition hitting me almost immediately and his complete lack of response basically saying everything I needed it to.Neither of us thought we’d see each other again, so there was no plan to talk it through when we did.
I finally make my way down the sidewalk, stopping in front of the noticeable yellow door, a signature of the restaurant and its namesake.It’s still early, but I know Roy will be inside, quietly sitting behind his desk, waiting for his employees to arrive so he can be the tyrant that he is.
I take the alleyway to the backdoor, the employee entrance, and I press the buzzer, waiting for someone to answer.A second later, Roy’s voice comes through the speaker.
“Can I help you?”he asks, tersely.He can see me on the camera that is connected to the buzzer.He knows who it is, and it feels really fucking manipulative.Or maybe it’s me going into this with a preconceived idea of who Roy Langston is.I need to get myself under control or this will begin as one big argument and that’s not what I’m here for.
“Hi Roy.I was wondering if I could speak to you?”I say, and then there’s silence.No response from him, no click of the door to let me in.
Great.He’s just going to fucking ignore me.Seems about right for how everything has gone up until this point.
