I close my eyes and let out a long, slow breath, willing myself to have the patience to push that buzzer again and basically beg Roy to let me in.I’m doing this for Leo.
Seconds later, the door opens, and Roy is standing there, looking right at me.He steps back, holding the door open for me as an invitation to enter.
“Hannah,” he says as I walk through the door.
“At least you got my name right,” I bite back, hating that I can’t seem to control my anger when I’m in this man’s presence.
“You could have corrected me,” he replies back, his tone icy, his anger slipping through.
“I did, but it never seemed to matter.”
“Did you come here to argue with me?”he asks, walking toward his office, never looking back at me.
“No, but I’m still mad, and rightfully so.”It’s hard to control the anger I have toward him, and I had no idea that seeing him alone in this place would bring back all the awful memories I have of this job and of working for him.
“You’re mad?Imagine my surprise when I meet my son’s girlfriend and she’s the one who left me high and dry,” Roy says, practically slapping me in the face with his words.
“Maybe if you had known my name was Hannah and not Anna you would have put two and two together, but you were—” I cut myself off, not needing this to turn into an argument, even if it already has.I can see that we’re getting nowhere with this route.
I swallow hard, letting the tension-filled silence float around us for a few seconds, waiting to see if he has anything to say before I attempt this again.But neither of us speaks, we’re at a standstill, which feels a little ridiculous since he is older than me.I guess the older, the wiser, isn’t always true.
You’d think if his relationship with his son meant anything to him, he’d at least be attempting to smooth things over with me.But it’s me who showed up here, bound and determined to make this right.
“I’m sorry, I’m going to start over,” I now say, taking in another soothing breath.“I’m here because I love Leo and he is important to me.I can’t see us moving forward knowing that his father and I are not on speaking terms.”
“I’m glad you’re here to apologize,” Roy replies, a bit of smugness in his tone.I bite down hard on my cheek to keep myself from lashing back.
“I didn’t say I was here to apologize.I won’t apologize for what happened when I quit.I firmly stand by my choice and my choice of words.”
Roy scoffs, shaking his head as he runs a hand through his hair.“My children don’t speak to me like that, what makes you think I will accept it from my son’s girlfriend?”
“I would also guess you don’t speak to your children the way you speak to your employees, because if you did, you wouldn’t have a relationship with them.”
My words must have struck a chord because he doesn’t come back at me with some snide comment.My hands are shaking, and I swear to god, I’m going to need to throw this shirt out when I’m done here.My pits are sweating like there’s a faucet under my arms.But I won’t back down from this.I want him to understand that while I love Leo, I won’t tolerate being looked down upon, which is exactly what is happening right now.
“There are enough volatile chefs in this business, enough men like you who think that ruling with an iron fist is the way to get your employees to work harder.The rules have changed in the last few years and people’s tolerance for being treated like shit is gone.”
I pause, hoping I’m getting through to him.He wouldn’t have hired me if he didn’t think I had the talent, so I know underneath all this harshness, there is someone who understands what it means to be a good chef.
“This isn’t a TV show, Roy.You aren’t here to bring in ratings and make a name for yourself as the asshole chef.That role is taken.Your restaurant is world famous, but the rumors that follow you are outshining your talent.”
Again, there’s silence and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m getting through to him.Is he taking any of this in or is he hell bent on ignoring me and letting it all go in one ear and out the other?I don’t want to keep talking.I’m looking for an open discussion so that we can clear the air.Then when one day, when we meet up for Christmas dinner or whatever, there isn’t a tension blanketing the room.I would never expect Leo to choose me or his family.I want us to grow together.
“Why do you think Leo doesn’t work for me?”Roy now asks, his question catching me off guard.My eyebrows go up in response.Does he really think this needs an answer?
“I would guess because you’re a bit of a tyrant and Leo is anything but,” I reply, hoping it doesn’t sound too harsh, but in a way hoping it does.It’s starting to feel like Roy Langston needs someone to say it to his face.
Roy laughs, a soft chuckle falling from his lips, and I’m almost knocked on my ass by the sound of it.I’ve never heard it before.I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him smile.
“He didn’t say that in so many words, and when he told me he wanted to be a chef, I wasn’t sure I wanted him to work for me either.”
“I’m guessing he was a little nicer about it because that’s Leo’s nature,” I say, thinking about his selflessness and his kindness.It’s what drew me to him from the start.
“He was, but what you and Leo don’t understand is that back when I started in this business, you had to be cutthroat to survive, especially when it comes to the restaurant business.”He’s defending himself and I understand that.He has built this massive career and wide success using this method, why would he change now?
I’m not asking him to change.I’m asking for him to allow us to move beyond our past and create a future that doesn’t involve what happened between us.I can only hope he isn’t so set in his ways that he continues to hold it against me.
“I do understand, but you also need to understand that there are some people who don’t thrive in that environment.Some people even begin to break down when treated like that.In case you’re wondering, some people is me.”I shrug, hoping some humor helps move this along.“I’m a damn good chef, but when I left here, I felt like shit.Not only about myself but about my ability in the kitchen.That’s something I never thought I would ever second-guess.”
