She lets out a soft sigh and I expect her to just fall asleep, but instead, she moves so she’s hovering over me, her hand on my face and her lips against mine as she kisses me hungrily.I kiss her back, desperate to reconnect with her, to prove that what we have is everything to me and there’s not a chance in hell I’m giving it up.
Hannah groans and I roll her beneath me, my hand tracing a path down her body to her knee, hitching it around my hip as I push into her, moaning at the reconnection, at how good it feels.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you,” I whisper, my lips against hers as start to move.
Hannah’s hands cup my face, her eyes open as she watches me, not saying anything, her stare focused and intense.And it’s in that moment that I realize what she’s doing.
I stop moving, resisting the urge to continue, even as she digs her heel into my ass.“Don’t,” I command, my eyes locked with hers.
“Leo, please,” she pleads, her hands tightening against my jaw.
I shake my head.“No,” I tell her.“You don’t get to do this.”
“Do what?”she breathes out, frustrated.
“Fuck me like it’s the last time,” I say, my jaw clenched.“This isn’t goodbye, Hannah,” I tell her, before making the monumental effort of pulling out and rolling off her.I flop onto the bed beside her, a huff falling from my mouth as I stare up at the ceiling.I can literally feel the stink eye my dick is currently giving me at what I’ve just done.
“Leo, seriously?”she asks, a bite to her words.“Did you just stop having sex with me in the middle of having sex with me?”
“Yep,” I reply, still not looking at her.
“Why?”
I turn to face her, pissed that she is asking me this, that she seriously thinks I didn’t notice what the fuck was going on just then.“Because, Hannah,” I reply, my words measured.“I’m not doing this with you.”
“Doing what?”
My hand slams down on the mattress beside me before curling into a fist.“I’m not fucking my girlfriend like it’s the last time I’ve ever going to fuck her because she’s planning to walk away from this amazing thing we have going on right now!”My words are loud in the silence of her bedroom and I swear just the idea that that’s what she was doing is enough to have my hard-on disappear in an instant.
“I wasn’t,” she eventually says, biting her bottom lip as she stares down at me.
“You sure about that?”I ask.
She nods, her eyes never leaving mine.“Yes, Leo, I’m sure.”
We stare at each other for a few minutes, neither of us saying anything as our eyes search each other, desperate to know what each of us is thinking.Eventually, Hannah falls back onto the bed so she’s lying beside me, a foot of space between us as she stares up at the ceiling.
I fucking hate this distance that’s suddenly between us.Hate that we can’t fix this situation.Hate that I doubt whether she still wants this with me.
The silence in the room feels deafening, even as my heart pounds in my chest at the thought of losing her.Just when I can’t possibly stand it for another second, I hear her whisper my name.I feel her hand as it slides over mine, our fingers threading together.
“Fuck, Hannah,” I breathe out, rolling over so my body is covering hers.
She whimpers, her arms wrapping around me as she widens her legs and I fall between them, pushing back inside her in one hard thrust.This time neither of us closes our eyes, neither of us looking away as I fuck her hard.
Fuck her deep.
Fuck her in a way that reminds her with every thrust that she is everything to me and I am not giving her up without a fight.
I feel her nails as they dig into my skin, her fingers clinging to me as though to pull me closer.I drive into her, over and over, pushing us both closer and closer to the edge until finally she tenses around me, her whole body contorting as she comes hard and I follow quickly behind her.
Collapsing onto her, I can feel the hard beat of her heart in her chest, pounding against mine.Her body is hot, covered in a sheen of sweat as she lies beneath me, the two of us wrapped so tightly together, I don’t even know where I end and she begins.
I bury my face in the crook of her neck, my lips pressed to her skin as I inhale deeply, my eyes closed.Hannah’s grip loosens as she moves her fingers slowly up and down my back.I roll onto my side, taking her with me as my lips find hers and I kiss her deeply.
“I love you,” I whisper, pulling her closer as we both close our eyes and fall asleep.
When I wake the next morning, it feels late.God knows what time it was when we finally fell asleep last night and even though nothing was resolved, I hope that what we did, plus the new day means we can finally start to try and figure this all out.
