“Hi y’all. I’m so happy to meet ya.” She’s got a southern drawl that sounds fake.
Strike one.
“I actually brought my best friend here as well.”
I look behind her, assuming another girl came in with her. Maybe Trent’s date, but instead, she opens her bag. I’m guessing it’s a dog. Which is fine. I like dogs as much as any other person. I wouldn’t bring my dog the first time I met someone’s family, but—
“It’s a snake!” I don’t know if it’s me who says it or someone else, but we all jump. Dad is across the room in a flash, and Juliet hides behind Micheal.
Bentleys aren’t afraid of anything. Except snakes. But it's not an irrational fear. Dad used to work at a pet shop as a teenager that had a few. One day, he was holding a California King Snake out to show a customer, and it wrapped itself around his neck. The shop owner rushed out and saved him, but Dad quit on the spot. Now, every time Dad tells the story, the snake gets bigger and deadlier. Last time he said it was a giant boa constrictor. Needless to say, we all steer clear of the forbidden species.
“Oh, Noodles is just a little thing. He won’t hurt y'all,” Rachel says, trying to calm everyone down.
It doesn’t work. One, because she’s lying. It's not as big as dad’s “boa constrictor”, but it's not a little water snake either. And two, I’m never eating noodles again.
“Rachel. You never said you had a snake.” Sean backs away from her.
Now I’m closer to her than he is. Nope. That’s not a game I’m playing. I back up into Grant, who knows we’re all crazy but keeps coming back for more, and he puts himself between me and the snake.
“Are you okay?” he whispers.
“Yes. Unless she lets that thing free in here.”
“Sean.” Rachel turns a pout on my brother. “I thought you said you liked pets.”
Sean jumps back as Rachel steps closer. “I-I do like pets. But snakes are not pets. Dogs are pets. Maybe even hamsters. Not reptiles.”
She hugs the snake to her chest and a tear slips down her cheek. “That’s just cold-hearted.”
“I think reptiles are cold-blooded,” Trent says. “They’ll get along. They just need some time to warm up to each other.”
I can’t stop myself from laughing, but I don’t want to be rude to Rachel, so I bury my face in Grant’s back.
His shoulders shake, and I know he’s trying really hard not to lose it.
“I can’t believe you would make out with me and then treat me like this.” Rachel puts the snake back in her purse and stomps toward Sean, who, like an idiot, runs away.
His face is red, which is a rare occurrence for him.
“This is gold.” Michael pulls out his phone, but Juliet slaps it out of his hand.
“I didn’t know you had a pet snake!” Sean is on one side of the kitchen island now, and Rachel on the other.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know youwerea snake!” she yells. “I’m so sorry Noodles, I didn’t mean…” She looks at her purse, then opens it wide. “Noodles?”
It’s at this point that all hell breaks loose. Everyone runs to the center of the family room. My dad may or may not be screaming. I’m a good daughter, so I won’t tell anyone, but he’s totally screaming.
I jump onto the couch, and Grant hops up beside me.
“Sean, help me catch him,” Rachel says, frantically grabbing at the snake slithering around the table and chairs.
You’d think if you kept a snake as a pet, you’d know how to catch it.
“Yeah, you’d think, wouldn’t you?” Grant says.
Oops, I said that out loud.
“How do you want me to catch it?” Sean jumps when the snake slides over his foot.
