Page 104 of Throne of Ice and Blood
“I told you I have a plan,” I say before shifting my gaze back to Alistair. “Tell me what you’re feeling. Is it pain? Fear?”
Alistair gasps in something like a sob, his body still shaking uncontrollably. “Hopelessness.”
Calling up my magic, I immediately shove it straight at the black flame of despair in his chest.
It’s so massive that I actually gasp. While yanking up my mental wall to separate his feelings from mine, I begin steadily decreasing that black flame.
A sense of stunned realization pulses through me while I work.
Back in the Seelie Court, I always assumed that Alistair didn’t really have a lot of emotions. But when I latched on to the rage in his chest during the Atonement Trials, I found it so strong that it shocked me to my core. And now, his despair is a raging inferno.
As I study Alistair’s shaking body, I realize that my first impression of him was completely wrong. Alistair isn’t the emotionless person I assumed he was. It’s the exact opposite. I’m starting to think that maybe Alistair feels too much. That he actually feels emotions deeper than everyone else.
Alistair at last drags in a deep breath as I force his despair down into the tiniest of sparks. But he remains on his hands and knees like that for a little while longer, drawing air back into his lungs. His body finally stops trembling.
I sweep my gaze over him.
Just like Isera, he is also still half-naked.
My gaze widens as I stare at his bare back. When I was here last time, I noticed that he had burn scars all over his chest and stomach. And now that I can clearly see his back for the first time, I realize that there are burn scars all over his back too.
A cold hand wraps around my heart. Where did all these scars come from?
At long last, he raises his head and takes his hands off the floor so that he is sitting upright on his knees instead. Surprise pulses in his orange and green eyes when he sees my glowing eyes, and he flicks a quick look down at my throat before meeting my gaze again. He draws in an unsteady breath.
“Thank you,” he says, his voice brimming with sincerity.
I give him a slow nod in acknowledgement and then carefully begin releasing my magic. I’m worried that the hopelessness will flare up again as soon as I stop manipulating it. But to my relief, it doesn’t. Apparently, just breaking the spiral of despair like that allowed Alistair to get his emotions back under control.
My eyes stop glowing as I release my magic completely.
For a few seconds, only the faint hissing of the torch by the wall behind me breaks the silence. Then Isera lets out something that almost sounds like an amused breath.
“Well, aren’t you full of surprises,” she says.
I shift my gaze to her. “I told you that I would get you out of here. And I meant it.”
Both of them listen intently while I fill them in on my discoveries and plans for the heist and our escape. A tiny glimmer of hope returns to Alistair’s eyes with every word I speak while a cold smile full of ruthless anticipation spreads across Isera’s mouth.
“The only thing we still need is information about the layout and guards inside the treasury,” I finish. “I can’t get there. But you can.”
“Are you forgetting that we’re still blindfolded every time we leave these cages?” Alistair points out.
“Not unless we pretend as if they have broken us,” Isera says, a scheming look on her face. Her eyes are sharp as she locks them on Alistair. “Can you handle that?”
“Canyou?” he shoots back.
“I would slaughter every single person in this castle, innocent or not, if it meant getting my revenge. I can handle it.”
Another chill runs down my spine, because I can tell that she means every word of that.
She shifts her cold determined gaze to me. “So yes, we’ll get the information for you.”
I give her a nod in acknowledgement. Then I turn back to Alistair. “Will you be okay?”
He clears his throat a bit self-consciously but nods. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
Picking up the thin blanket from the floor, he scoots backwards and drapes it over his shoulders before leaning back against the iron bars. A huff of bitter laughter escapes his chest, and he shakes his head.
