Page 122 of The Only Thing That's Real
“I think Cal aged a good decade tonight. When he came out to tell us Charlie and Grace were both doing well, he looked like he had been to hell and back.”
“What happened?”
“Labor wasn’t progressing and then the baby’s heart rate dropped. They didn’t have a choice. But mom and baby are good. Dad too. Hopefully, all three of them are getting some much-needed sleep.” She yawns the last word out.
“I know you’re exhausted after being up all night, but I was hoping we could chat.”
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I should have called you weeks ago, but I wanted to talk in person.”
“Geez, it must be serious. You know you can tell me anything.”
It’s true. I’ve always been able to talk to Mia and Daisy about anything. Too often I don’t, though. When we were kids, I could have trusted them with my family problems, but I already felt like a burden at home. It was nice to be the friend who never had issues. At least not any I shared with anyone.
“I hope you know how much I respect you as a mother.”
She nods, looking concerned about where this is going.
“Because of that, I want to make sure you’re okay with me spending time with Sawyer.”
She stares at me like I’ve got three heads. “What in the world are you talking about? Why would I have a problem with you being in Sawyer’s life? You’ve always been a part of his life.”
“I know, but there’s a difference between a friend living on the other side of the country who only comes home acouple times a year and someone dating his father and spending time with him when you aren’t around. I want to make sure you’re comfortable with me being a part of his life.”
“Ryan, I couldn’t be happier that you’re home. Knox or not, you were already his Auntie Ry.” She looks over her shoulder to make sure we’re alone. “If I’m being completely honest, it’s a relief to know you’re here to supervise.”
We both chuckle and I keep to myself that Knox was a shaking mess when he held Sawyer on the big boy potty or that he threw a towel over Sawyer’s lap, convinced he was going to pee in his face.
We rock in companionable silence until Mia speaks. “You know, it was only one night. Well, it was a few minutes. There was never anything between me and Knox. No offense, but I’ve never been attracted to him. It was just an intoxicated moment.”
“I know, and we never have to talk about it.” It makes me sick to think of one of my closest friends being with Knox, regardless of how brief their encounter was. I believe her and truly don’t want to talk about it ever again.
The robins in the trees surrounding the cabin sing their morning song for the two of us and we enjoy another moment of peace before Mia opens up a door we’ve kept shut until now.
“Do you hate me for keeping Sawyer from him?”
I knew we’d have to talk about this at some point. We’re both tired, our emotions fragile, and likely not the best time to do this. So I take a minute to think about how I want to answer my lifelong childhood friend.
“I think what you did was wrong. You took experiencesand memories from Knox that he can never get back.” A tear slides down her face and I take her hand in mine. “But I’ve had the tiniest taste of the attention his life can bring and I can’t say that I wouldn’t have considered doing the same thing in your position.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are. I also know you were doing what you could to protect your child. Your intention wasn’t to hurt Knox.”
“I swear it wasn’t. I was afraid, Ryan. He has an entire legal team who could have fought to take my son from me. And I wanted to protect him from all the assholes in Knox’s world.”
I squeeze her hand even tighter. “I know.”
“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”
“That’s something for him to answer, but I think he forgave you the moment he found out. He lays the blame solely on his shoulders.”
“There’s no blame for him to carry. I should have given him a chance.”
Yes, you should have.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him as happy as he is when he’s with Sawyer. He loves him already and I know he’ll only do what’s best for him.”
