Page 101 of The Only Thing That's Real
“Never. I’m just glad to hear your voice.”
God, I miss him. The last five days I’ve been a shell of myself. Getting out of bed and going through the motions of my day feels like climbing uphill through the thick sands of a dune. All I want to do is sink into the sand and disappear. Then I hear his voice and I’m not sure what it is I’m still sifting through in my head.
I’m not sure why I don’t return his sentiment, but I don’t. Instead, I go with generic pleasantries. “So, how was the meeting with the guys?”
“I told them about Sawyer, Ry.”
My heart leaps with excitement, because I know without a doubt they supported him.
“Oh, Knox. I’m so glad. How did it feel to get it off your chest?”
“Fucking fantastic.”
“Told you they’d have your back.”
“You were right. Not only did they have my back, but it opened the door to discuss the more deep-rooted issues I’ve been holding inside for far too many years. It’s all out there now, and we’re still a family. I can breathe when I’m around them again.”
His voice sounds lighter.
He really needed this.
I knew it would be better if I wasn’t there to get in the way.
“I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks, baby.”
Baby.
The elation running through my veins from his happiness along with his sweetbabyis physical. My stomach flips, my heart thumps, and I walk circles around my living room. I’m so happy for him. This is what he needed. After meeting Sawyer, this was the last thing he really needed to do before heading home in two weeks.
His life is on track.
He feels better about himself.
He has hope.
It takes hearing his voice again to realize he’s waiting for me to speak. “I miss you, Ry.”
“I miss you too.”
It’s the truth. I do miss him. However, as much as I miss him, me staying out of the way was the best thing for the band and for me. They needed to talk and focus on their journey together, and I needed space.
Seeing my face all over the internet. Reading the comments about the “mystery redhead” were too much all at once. I’ve spent the last few days reading, wallowing in the nastiness of strangers behind their keyboards, while telling myself I don’t want a life spent in the limelight of the paparazzi.
The truth is, I fell head over heels in love with Knox and the moment I had an out; I took it. Not only did I run away and hide, but I also started stacking those bricks back up around my heart again.
“I need to see you.”
My chest tightens. “I’ll only be in the way.”
“The doc crew knows that what happened with Rob is not to be included in the film. The dickhead already took a settlement and signed an NDA. You won’t be in the way. You won’t be a distraction, either.”
“Soon.”
“What can I do? What answers do you need from me to help you make your decision?”
“What?”
