Page 100 of The Only Thing That's Real
“Trev, check the back of his head for a zipper. We need to confirm that’s really him and not some imposter dressed in his skin,” Jay says, his face a little too serious for my liking.
“Sue me for having some respect for her.”
“He’s kidding,” Matt assures me. “It’s nice. I hope this is it for you, buddy. You deserve it.”
“So, she knows everything about Mia?” Trevor asks.
“She does. And before you say it, she doesn’t need to sign an NDA. I trust her.”
“Wasn’t going to mention it. She already signed one at the start. She knows she can’t print anything she finds out off the record. Besides, I trust her too. She’s good people.”
“She is,” Iagree.
“So, why isn’t she here?”
It’s night five. She still hasn’t come back to the hotel or MSG for a show.
“She says there’s too much attention on what happened night one and if she’s here, she’ll be a distraction. I think it was a wakeup call and she’s trying to decide if I’m worth all the hassle. Her face is now splashed across all the trash social media sites, and paps were waiting at her building by the end of the show.”
It’s quiet for a moment but leave it to Trevor to keep things real. “Her life changed in the blink of an eye. It’s a lot to consider.”
“Dude, you’re worth it. She knows that. She just needs time.”
“From your lips, Sean.” I point to the sky. “I hope the big guy is on my side this time around.”
“I hate to be the one to break this up, but the car will be here in five.” Trevor gestures toward the exit. “We need to get our shit together and out the door.”
“Hang on, Trev. This is cause for celebration and it will only take a minute.” Jay ducks behind the bar, reappearing with a bottle of tequila and five glasses. Bringing them back to the table, he pours a shot for each of us. “Congratulations, McKinnon. You’re a fucking dad and you’re gonna be phenomenal at it.”
Glasses held high, Matt says, “How about a fuck, yeah!”
“Fuck yeah!” we all yell before slamming back our shots.
Glasses down, they each take their turn embracing me, showing me the love and support that would have been there for months if I had let them in. I thank them, and with the shame lifted from my shoulders, I can breathe again.
Lately, it’s only been when I’m with Ryan that I can take a full breath, but after this conversation, I stand a chance at feeling like the man I’ve always wanted to be. I have a lot to prove to Sawyer, Mia, and my whole family regarding sticking around and raising my kid, but I’m not letting them down.
Going home... being a dad... it’s what I want.
But will Ryan be a part of that life?
I’m worried I’m losing her.
Sure we’ve continued to text fun facts about each other first thing when we wake up and we’ve talked on the phone every day, but she asked that I not come over. There’s one lone pap still camping outside her place and she knows if I’m seen going in or out of her building, the rest will be back in no time. I understand and I appreciate her not wanting to distract the band with everything we have going on right now. However, I also know she’s using this time to decide if she’s gonna cut and run.
She’s shit at hiding her emotions. If I could see her face, I’d know where I stand with her.
If I could kiss her lips, I’d remind her how good we are together.
Chapter Fifty-One
Ryan
“Hey, you.”
The relief in Knox’s voice when he answers my call instantly makes me regret waiting so long to reach out. I texted earlier that I was gonna skip tonight’s show, but I also promised him I’d call before he went on stage. They go on in thirty minutes, so I’m cutting it close.
“Hey. I know you go on stage soon. Am I interrupting?”
