Page 102 of The Only Thing That's Real
“Baby, I know you aren’t staying away for the band. Well, maybe that’s a part of it, but what you’re really doing is deciding if I’m worth the bullshit that comes with being in my life. You’re deciding if we have a future.”
Well shit. He just called me out and he isn’t wrong. Well, he’s wrong about part of it.
“Please don’t say that. None of this is about you. It’s about me and whether being with me is worth it to you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The last thing you need is the press to get wind of our relationship. I mean, how bad will it look when they find out that the journalist chronicling your farewell tour is sleeping with the lead singer?”
“Don’t care.”
“The press was leaving you alone until that fight. You had relative peace until I brought chaos into your life.”
“Bullshit excuse.”
“What if I’m not enough? What if social media is right and I’m not your type? You might wake up one day and realize everything they’re saying is true.”
I’m grasping at straws. I know this.
God, since when do I care what people think?
Do I even care?
Or am I using it as a way out?
Doing what I do best and closing myself off before I get hurt.
“Youare my type, Ryan. My only type. As far as you being enough... you exceed every ideal I’ve ever had about my dream woman. You’re so damn much you’ve got me holding on for dear life. I’m the one who should be worried that I’m not enough, not you.”
For the first time in days a smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. The sincerity in his voice knocking down the bricks I had put back up over the last few days. My heartflutters and my worries seem miniscule when compared to the way I feel about this man.
“I’m really glad I called,” I say through a smile I’m sure he can hear in my voice.
“Me too, baby.”
In the background, Trevor says, “Wrap it up. We gotta get out there.”
“I heard that. I’ll let you go.”
“You sure? They can wait if you need to talk through anything else.”
“Thousands of people cannot wait while you talk to me.”
“You’re more important.”
Stomping my feet in glee, my heart is soaring. His attention and willingness to talk through this, no matter how long it takes, has me giddy.
“Have a good show, old man.”
“I’ll call you after.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, baby.”
I need to get my head on straight. Put on my big girl pants and make the biggest decision of my life.
Do I open myself up and give all of me to Knox, or walk away before we’re both in too deep?
