‘And Idid. You wanted to stay with your dad. You were adamant. We’ve been through this so many times. Nothing has changed. I had to go because I was so unhappy with your dad and he was unhappy living with me too. You had to choose a side and I’m sorry for that.’
‘He was unhappy because of the split.’ Tammy’s carefullyplanned speech flew out of the window as all the old conflicts and heartache flooded her again.
‘I know you blame me for your dad going off the rails but he wasn’t in the best place before I met Patrick. He’d never thought he was good enough: for me or for you. He’d inherited Rosewarne from his grandparents and felt he hadn’t earned it. He said he could never have afforded it if he’d had to buy or rent it.’
‘Poor Dad. He never said any of that to me.’
‘No, he wanted to protect you, I suppose. I tried to convince him he was enough for me and a great father to you. He adored you from the moment he saw you.’ Her mother’s eyes were suddenly bright with tears. ‘We both did.’
Tammy choked back a sob. ‘You say Dad adored me from the moment I was born. But, Mum, what if he suspected that …’
Her mother’s eyes narrowed. ‘I don’t know what you mean. Suspected what?’
‘That I might not be … That I could be – that Davey is my real father.’
Her mother’s mouth gaped and she pushed her hair off her face. ‘Davey? Where the hell did you get that idea from?’
‘It was – something I read it in a letter from my dad to Walter,’ Tammy said, now wishing she hadn’t blurted out her worries so bluntly. ‘I think Walter told him something that pushed him over the edge.’
‘What? What are you talking about? Where’s this letter?’ her mother demanded. ‘You say that Walter was involved?’
‘It’s in my bag. It sounds like Walter accused you andDavey of having an affair and my dad went berserk and wrote to him telling him to leave us all alone.’
‘Walter! That evil bugger. You shouldn’t believe a word he said.’ She held out her hand. ‘Can I see it? Please.’
Tammy handed over the note and her mother read it, shaking her head and cursing softly before throwing it on the coffee table. ‘Whatever Walter told your father sounds like a pack of malicious lies. I never had an affair with Davey. I only liked him for your father’s sake. Davey never thought I was good enough for Neil. They were very close and sometimes I thought he was jealous.’
‘What? You’re saying he wanted more than friendship from Dad?’
‘No. Not in a romantic way. Only that they were boyhood buddies and I came between them. But I welcomed him into our home and I tried to be warm and friendly. There is no way I would ever have had an affair with Davey. Have you asked him?’ she said sharply. ‘He’ll give you your answer. He wasn’t my biggest fan either.’
‘I haven’t told him about the note. I can’t. He’s been diagnosed with prostate cancer and I couldn’t throw this at him too. Which is why I came to you first.’
Her mother folded her arms and Tammy braced herself for an outburst but instead she said. ‘Look, I’m sorry for Davey. Is it bad, the cancer?’
‘I think it’s been caught at an early stage, though it’s still a big worry.’
‘I can imagine. It must be tough on you when you’re so close. Davey has been like a father to you and for that I’mvery grateful to him, but I swear on my life that he and I never had an affair. You must believe that.’
‘I do. I – I’m sorry for throwing it at you but why would Walter make up these accusations?’
‘Because he was a vindictive and twisted old sod!’ her mum declared. ‘And also because, maybe, he once tried it on with me.’
‘What?’ Tammy covered her mouth with her hand. ‘Mum, I’m so sorry.’
‘Oh, it was nothing physically threatening. He came round while your dad was out and you were at school. And he was all friendly and pleasant – to start with – and then he told me I was wasting my time on a loser like Neil and why didn’t we have some arrangement.’ She shuddered. ‘He was old enough to be my father, for God’s sake.’
Tammy felt sick.
‘I told him where to get off, of course, and never to darken the doorstep again. I never let on to your dad. He’d have killed Walter but I didn’t feel the same about living there after that. I think it was a factor in me wanting to move away from Cornwall. I’m not proud of having an affair with Patrick, but it’s too late to turn back the clock now.’
‘God, Mum, how horrible for you. I’d no idea.’
‘I decided to keep it to myself because of the trouble it would have caused. Now, though, I’m thinking of your dad and how bad he must have felt when he heard whatever crap Walter tried to feed him. He never mentioned it to me, yet he must have been so angry and hurt. I’m glad hedidn’t believe there was a shred of truth in it – and neither should you.’
‘I don’t. Not now. But you can see why I was upset when I saw it.’
‘I can.’ Her mum curled her lip in disgust. ‘Jesus. That man – Walter – has poisoned so many lives.’ She put her hand on Tammy’s arm. ‘I do love you. Idocare. Things just went wrong for our family. They can slip away so slowly, you don’t even notice until one day there’s no solid ground under your feet and everything has changed forever.’
