She looks shy. ‘Well, have a think about it, but I was thinking we could do this on a very casual basis, if you want. I know you’re too busy with work for anything real or serious, and I’m having a lot of fun out there dating. But we could provide each other with a few orgasms from time to time. A release, if you will. If you wanted?’
‘Like a friends with benefits type situation?’ I sit up straight in her bed.
‘Exactly,’ she nods happily.
‘But what about us living together, Shell – um,Alex?’ I pull the duvet up around me. ‘Won’t it fuck everything up and get messy?’
She turns to me, tracing a finger along my jaw and sending tingles through my whole body. ‘We won’t let it.’
I kiss her again, believing her words completely. Because I want to.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
When we arrive at the flat, Bibi and Louise are both outside on the doorstep, chatting to two Jehovah’s Witnesses.
‘I saw a black squirrel the other day,’ Louise is saying, looking fascinated. ‘Was it a sign of the apocalypse?’
‘Er…’ The men glance at each other. ‘We’re here to discuss the scriptural command given to Jesus and his followers.’
‘Well, I still don’t get it,’ Bibi is saying. ‘But it’s all very interesting and I respect your views, dudes.’
‘Let me just read you Matthew 24:14 again, young lady,’ the taller man says, leaning closer.
‘OH MY FUCKING GOD, SHELLEY!’ Louise interrupts his flow at the sight of us. Bursting past the evangelists, she throws herself into Alex’s arms. ‘You’re hereeeeee! And I mean Alex, sorry.’
Alex laughs and wraps herself around Lou. ‘I am! And I’m so sorry, Lou. I’ve been such a horrible prick for so long. Can you forgive me?’
With her face still buried inside Alex’s coat, we make outLouise crying as she squeals, ‘Of course! You don’t even have to ask.’
‘God’ – Alex looks over at me from inside Lou’s squeeze – ‘I thought this apology thing was going to be harder – or, at least, take longer. If I’d known it would be this easy, I’d have done it years ago.’
‘I wish you had,’ I tell her, my voice thick.
We all move to go inside, squeezing past the Jehovah’s lads who are reading another Bible passage. Bibi is pouting, but I can’t tell if it’s at the pushy preachers who won’t leave, or at Alex’s arrival.
Inside, I head to make tea, while Louise and Alex’s long-running hug migrates to the sofa. Bibi hovers jealously in the doorway.
Released momentarily, Alex smiles brightly up at Bibi. ‘Sorry, I haven’t said a proper hello yet. I’m Alex. You must be Bibi.’
‘I must be,’ Bibi replies shortly. ‘You’re back then, are you?’
Alex glances over at me, a little confused. ‘Backsounds a bit dramatic, but I guess this whole thing is a bit dramatic. Yeah, I guess I am.’ There is an awkward silence before she adds, ‘Er, is that OK?’
Bibi shrugs and I shoot her an angry look. I get that she feels threatened by Alex but she could be polite.
‘So, tell me everything I’ve missed!’ Alex turns away from Bibi, as I hand over a steaming cup of tea. I hope she still takes it the same way. ‘Seven years of dramas and nonsense, fill me in. Does Esther still get her tits out whenever she’shad too much House of Virtue gin? Does Louise still bring cutlery on nights out for her kebab? Is that lost satsuma still under this sofa?’ She laughs and we join in. But I find myself somewhat horrified that we’ve moved on so very little in all this time. I’m still in the same flat, still single, still getting my tits out.
To be fair, they’re nice tits and I want to share that joy with people.
‘Yes, yes, and yes,’ Louise confirms. ‘And I know you can get those wooden forks for free in the kebab shop, but it doesn’t seem sanitary. What if they’re just rinsing off used ones at the end of the night and putting them back in the pot? Or what if I got splinters in my food?’
‘A good point!’ Alex confirms.
‘But I have a boyfriend now!’ Louise says proudly. ‘He’s called Sven.’
‘A boyfriend you have rubbish sex with,’ Bibi mutters and Lou looks embarrassed.
‘Er, can you just give us a second?’ I paste on a grin for Alex as I grab Bibi by the elbow and hustle her out of the room, heading towards the loo. Door shut behind us, I turn my sternest face on Bibi. ‘Look, I know this is weird for you, but no one is replacing you!’ I tell her crossly. ‘Not unless you keep up this mean girl shit. Alex is great, so can you just play nice and smile for the rest of the day? Please?’
