I sigh, looking at his sweet face. ‘Will, I need some time to think about this,’ I say slowly. ‘This is all so nice, but I feel very overwhelmed. It’s really good to see you, but... I don’t know what I think. I’m sorry.’ I press my hand to my forehead and stare at the high white ceiling above us. ‘It really doesn’t help that I’m both drunk and also hungover right now; it’s hard to think straight. This has come out of the blue, Will. I’ve heard nothing from you, I thought it was over. I do still love you but... I... look, I’ve had no sleep in three days. I barely know where I am.’
He looks wounded, but puts his hand on my shoulder.
‘I get it,’ he says, nodding slightly. ‘I am so sorry about everything, you have no idea. I want this – us – to work, though, and I’m prepared to be patient. I know we can make it, I’m sure of that now.’ He pauses. ‘Do you have to go? Can I at least give you a lift home?’
I shake my head. ‘We’ve booked taxis, and they’re here, waiting for us all. I need to pay my share, so I’ll go with the girls.’
He nods again, silently, miserably, and I give him another quick hug before slowly turning away, pulling my suitcase along behind me. I look back once and he’s staring after me, looking sad. I made him sad. But that’sOK. Life is sometimes about making other people sad so you can be happy.
Lauren and Joely are waiting for me by the car. They look frantic.
‘What the hell happened?’ Lauren shrieks at me excitedly. ‘We saw you with Will – it looked really intense. Are youOK?’
I wince. The hangover pain is real, and so are the emotions.
‘I’ll explain in the car,’ I say, giving her a tired smile.
‘Are you all right, though?’ adds Joely nicely.
I think about it. ‘Yeah, I’m surprisingly all right,’ I say, as I load my suitcase and climb into the back of the cab.
I turn to her. ‘Areyou, though? What was that scene back there? It looked pretty nasty. I thought you were actually starting to like Brian for real?’
Joely looks horrified. ‘Oh God, no,’ she says, shaking her head. ‘Don’t accuse me of having real feelings, ever, please. No, no, I just thought if I seemed enthusiastic during the trip, one of the other girls might sell a story on us. Y’know, tell theMirrorhow happy we seemed right before the end.’
‘Did he really cheat on you, though?’ I say, confused.
‘Oh, probably!’ she says dismissively. ‘But who cares? It’s over now. I don’t want a real boyfriend – too much hard work. Plus, my agent gave me David Walliams’ number, so we have a date lined up for next week.’
She gives me a thumbs up and the driver starts the engine.
24
We’re meant to be at the hotel right now. We’re meant to be getting ready and pulling those last-minute details together ahead of Lauren and Charlie’s wedding. We’re meant to be getting our bridesmaid dresses on. Then we’re meant to be making our way over to Charlie’s dad’s place to ooh and aah at the giant marquee. And then we’re meant to be watching Lauren get married.
But an hour ago we got a call.
The fuckers have eloped.
So apparently, she and Charlie had a big talk last night. Their first proper conversation in ages, by the sound of it. Lauren admitted how carried away she’s been getting with all this wedding stuff. She finally told him a lot of what she told us in that drunk tank a lifetime ago. How she feels like she’s lost herself a bit and – worse – how she feels like she’s lost Charlie. The actual celebration of their relationship got lost in the planning and Lauren confessed that she didn’t even really want this big elaborate wedding in the first place. She doesn’t know how it happened. Her first instinct, back when he proposed, had been a little wedding with just her closest loved ones. But she’d let everyone else’s opinions and judgements get in the way.
She told Charlie how she’d ended up dreading the whole thing.
And Charlie totally got it. In fact, he said he was absolutely delighted to hear it and then immediately booked them a pair of tickets to Vegas. He said he’d only suggested having a quick engagement because he was worried about this very thing happening. He said he’d seen it happen to loads of his friends who got engaged and he didn’t want Lauren to have to deal with all that pressure. He didn’t know how crazy things had become, because she’d been pretending everything was in hand. Pretending everything was great and fun. Like she did with us for ages.
So they’re in Las Vegas right now, getting ready for a wedding ceremony that will be performed by an Elvis impersonator. They’ll have strangers for witnesses and literally not one friend or family member present. Lauren’s not even wearing one of those nine different wedding dresses she had ready. She says she’s going to wear her favourite £55 green dress from Topshop. The one she wore for her birthday last year.
I can’t stop laughing. I’m so pleased for them.
Of course, everyone back here is going mad about it. Lauren is kindly redirecting questions to me – my final duty as maid of honour – and I’ve had so many messages this morning from angry guests. I understand that both sets of parents are especially livid. And I get why they’re angry, but I also think... fuck them.
Just a little bit!
But yeah, fuck them.
I know they’ve spent a huge ton of money, but their anger doesn’t even seem to be about that. They’re angry because they saw this wedding as beingtheirbig day. They saw it as their moment in the sun.
And this is one of my problems with weddings – how buried the bride and groom get in all of it. So often, it doesn’t really get to be about them and their relationship, it becomes about everyone else. Everyone has an opinion to offer and pointed suggestions and demands. People feel a weird right to comment on every aspect of a wedding.
