I haven't given him my home address, either. Dan has done a little detective work to find out that information. I pray he hasn't been blabbing to our co-workers. We need to be containing, not spreading, the gossip.
"You know why he stopped by," Hugh says. "He wanted to check that you were telling the truth. He thinks you're avoiding him."
I moan. "I am avoiding him. He just isn't getting the message."
Hugh asks me to hold on for a second while an ambulance races down his block with its siren blaring. For the last few days, I haven't thought about how quiet it is here. I guess I'm getting used to it.
"Sounds like you need to be more direct," Hugh says after the siren fades into the distance. "Tell him to give his attention to his wife and kids and leave you alone. Seriously, this is getting stalkerish."
"I'll handle it. I wonder what would make Dan run for the hills? Playing the ‘too clingy’ card usually drives men away, but he's already laid that card on the table.”
"There's something else I need to tell you about," Hugh says. "I'm not sure it's even going to happen, but I don't want it to come as a shock if it does."
I let out a long breath. "Okay, just hit me with it."
I'm terrified that he's going to tell me he and Raymond are adopting a baby because once your friends become parents, you never see them again. My good friend Cara had a kid nine months ago, and the only way I know she's still alive is that she posts baby pictures on Facebook hourly. When I tried to set up a dinner with her, she said that she'd let me know when the feeding and napping schedule allowed her the free time to get out of the house without the baby and that was the last I heard from her.
"Raymond is up for a huge promotion, and the job is in Chicago. That's where we've been the past three days," Hugh says.
"Hugh! No!" I scream. "That's worse than saying you guys are pregnant!"
"I know, I know. I don't want to move there either. I'll freeze my ass off, and I look absurd in puffer coats. But he's the big salaried accountant, and I'm the freelance writer who can do his work from anywhere so...who knows, maybe he won't get the job."
"Yes, he will," I say miserably.
Raymond is a workaholic math wizard. He probably crunches columns of numbers in his sleep. I've never met someone as passionate about tax deductions. People think that accounting is dull, but honestly, Ray is more stoked about his career than Hugh and I have ever been about ours.
"Yeah, he will totally get it," Hugh says, sounding as depressed about that fact as I feel.
"I can't believe this."
Hugh blows out a breath. "I know. It totally sucks."
I try to think of something positive to say because I want to be supportive, but I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me.
"Let's talk about something else, otherwise I'm going to get completely depressed," Hugh says. "Tell me what's happening with Herb."
"Pretty sure he's here to stay," I say, hating to admit defeat.
"Damn, are you sure?"
"I think so. We had a big talk today, and he's pretty adamant that they're going to try to make this farm thing work."
"You should just screw around with your future step-brother then," Hugh says. "I mean, if things are already weird, why not just make it totally fucked up. In a post-Game of Thronesworld,incest is much more acceptable."
"Sure, great idea." I look out my window toward Seth's cabin. It's not visible from here, except for what I think is a light on his porch. "That plan can't possibly go wrong."
After I hang up with Hugh, I want to cry, but the tears won't come. Instead, I lie on my bed and stare at the wall, wondering what's going on in the universe. Too many things are changing at once. I can't imagine life in New York without my father and my best friend. All of my other friends are getting married and having kids. I don't even want those things, but I seem to be the only person who wants life to stay the same. Who am I going to write down as my emergency contact at work this year? Certainly, not my mother. She'll get the call from the hospital and ask what my chances of survival are to determine whether it's worth the drive from Long Island.
People are always saying change is inevitable, and I'm okay with things moving forward, of course. But the pace of what's happening right now has my head spinning, and it's leading me to make terrible decisions, for example, kissing my married co-worker.
Hugh is wrong. The last thing I need right now is to get involved with a surly caveman who treats me with contempt. The best idea right now is to clean up the messes I've already made and stay out of future trouble.
Seven
Dan is followingme down the hallway of the bar again. This time I'm wearing a skirt, one that's short and clingy. I know those are his footsteps behind me, and when I turn, his lips are on mine, without a word being exchanged between us. He presses me back against the wall, his body lining up perfectly with mine. His hands trace along the sides of my thighs, stroking upwards while our tongues flicker against each other. This is what I wanted from Dan. Short, flirty kisses that grow in fervor as our excitement increases. I have to show him with my tongue that I want to kiss deeper, wetter, and he responds with a groan and matches my intensity. Then I slow down again, gently biting his lower lip to drive him insane. In response to my teasing, his fingers begin to slide under the soft material of my skirt. I gasp and pull my head back to look at him, but it isn't Dan's blue eyes that I see. These eyes are the color of chocolate and incredibly intense. They're Seth's.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asks in his deep grumbling voice. There's a catch in his throat when he says the word stop, as if he would do it, but it would hurt him so much.
