"You were being logical and responsible," I say, even though I'm pretty sure teenage Andie would have been incensed that she was being robbed of a European experience.
"I've spent my whole life being logical and responsible," he says with a little smile. "It's time for me to take some risks and jump into the unknown. I hope you can support me in that."
"I guess so." I pick at a chipped fingernail. "I'll try."
"And I want you to know, moving away from you was the hardest part of my decision."
My chest tightens, and I turn toward the window so he won't see the tears forming in my eyes. We drive in silence for several miles. I can't help feeling that there's nothing more to say.
"I should head back in a day or two. I'll look for a flight when we get home."
"No, don't do that,” he says. “Stay at least another week or two. You have time before you have to go back to work."
"I'm in the way. You and Renata need time as a couple."
The lump in my throat is expanding, and I close my eyes and rest my head against the glass.
"We already have Seth coming over all the time to use the shower. And Harmony is coming to stay for Grammy camp. It will be great if you stay longer. We love having all our chickens in the nest, so to speak."
He's using an over-the-top enthusiastic voice like I do when I’m anxious. When he senses I'm about to cry, he always compensates by ramping up the jolly factor.
"Maybe a couple more days." I try to sound happy about spending more time at the farm.
"A week, at least," he says. "Please?"
I agree to another week because I do want to spend a little more time with him before the school year begins. Now that I know he won't be coming with me, every minute feels more precious.
* * *
"Oh my god,I didn't know there would be a shower scene in this program!" Hugh says when I tell him about walking in on Seth.
I'm lying on my bed talking on the phone because from this point forward I'm going to make sure no one overhears my conversations. We haven't spoken for the last few days because Hugh and Raymond were out of town. We've texted a bunch of times, but I didn't mention seeing Seth in a towel because it seemed like news that he'd want to hear in detail.
"Very funny. This is my life, Hugh, not a telenovela I'm producing for your enjoyment."
"Of course, of course. Still, I'd like to know, does he resemble the lovechild of Keanu Reeves and Adam Driver? Is that an accurate description? Maybe with a little bit of Kit Harrington thrown in?"
He's freakishly on target, and it's not just that Seth and these actors have the same dark, sexy, slightly villainous looks. They also share a hard masculinity combined with a softer sensitive quality—like they'll be ready to go to battle right after they finish pouting and writing their poetry.
"I'll ignore your willful misunderstanding of reproduction and say yes, that's what he looks like."
Hugh makes a contented purring sound. "I need a picture, please."
"Sure, I'll ask him to pose for one right after hell freezes over."
"I still contend you need some sexual healing after your recent Dan disaster. Speaking of which, when I went over to your apartment to get your clothes, your roommate was there."
Hugh overnighted me a care package of clothing, shoes, and loaf of slightly stale sourdough bread before he left on his trip. Honestly, I also wanted him to make sure Marly hadn't turned my entire apartment into a terrarium. At first she'd kept all her plants in her bedroom, but over time they began spilling into the living room and kitchen. Before I left for North Carolina, I noticed the tendrils of a Wandering Jew trailing over my coffee maker, which is a sacred object for me.
"Is the place a disaster?" I ask, dreading the answer.
"Not any more than usual. Marly has a gig writing articles for some horticulture website so we talked about that for a while. She let me know that a guy came over to see you recently. Twice actually."
"Oh god," I whisper.
"Yeah, it was definitely Dan. He asked Marly to tell you he stopped by, and she said she wasn't sure if she should say you were out of town or not."
"I texted him that I was away though. Why would he come by?"
