Page 115 of The Surprise
Dolores spins around and grabs something else.
“What’s that?”
She shrugs. “Something amazing?” She sets the tiniest blue booties and hat that match the blanket right on top of it, and then she grabs some teensy mittens, too. All three things are the same color as the blue of the blanket, but they’re made of a yarn so fine that it almost looks like they’re a store-bought knit and not hand crocheted at all. It’s all so cute, it makes my insides hurt.
“But will a baby that small really need mittens? I doubt they’ll take it outside in the snow.”
Dolores’ smile is a little self-satisfied. “They’re to keep the baby from scratching its face.”
Babies scratch their own faces? Why? “Oh.”
“Trust me,” she says. “It’s a decent gift.”
“Thank you,” I say. “I really appreciate it. Truly.”
“I hope tomorrow goes really well for you.” I can tell she means it, and I feel at peace for the first time in two weeks.
I wish I could hold on to that feeling, because the next morning, I’m a ball of anxiety. I put on pants and a shirt. Then I take that off and try a dress. But I feel like I can see a bulge. I chuck it in the corner. But I’m wasting too much time. I throw my sweats back on and do my makeup as carefully as I can.
I can’t wear too much, or I’ll look like a clown. Or worse, a prostitute.
I’ve never been this nervous while getting ready for anything.
Why?
It’s not Ethan. He seems to like me any which way.
It’s his mother.
I’m going to see him at her big event. The event where the entire town, it feels, is welcoming her newbaby. You know, the thing that’s growing inside of me that no one knows about? The thing that I shouldn’t have, seeing as I’m eighteen, single, and barely able to pay my bills while sponging off my aunt?
Ugh.
I change three more times, and I’m sweating like a pig from all the anxiety and the clothing changes, but finally I settle on a blue and white sundress. It’s one my mom bought for herself, but it was a bit too small for her, which means it came to me. It didn’t really fit me either, but my boobs are bigger now, thank you baby, and it looks just right.
I hear a lot of talking going on outside, so I figure they’re probably almost ready to leave. When I crack my door, I hear a lot of laughter. “What’s going on?” I peek around the corner.
Aiden, Will, and Donna’s faces all swivel toward mine.
“Do you think this will work?” I smooth my dress down as I step out into the open. I’m nervous even asking them. It’s not something I usually do, solicit feedback on my clothing, and I can’t think the last time I wore a dress. It’s not like I wear one to run a tour on a fishing boat where I’m snapping photos of men holding fish. Because of the wind, I never wear anything but pants or shorts.
“Whoa,” Will says. “Who are you trying to impress?”
Oh, no. He’s going to figure it out. And if sweet but clueless Will has figured it out. . . “Shut up.” I duck back into my room. Do I change? I could wear the—no, Beth, no—I grab the gift bag and force myself back outside. I picked this dress for a reason. Today is an important day, and everyone will be dressed their best. Probably.
“What’s that about?” Aunt Donna asks on the other side of the door.
“She clearly likes someone,” Will says. “No way a teenager takes that much time to get ready unless she’s after a guy.”
I need to distract them. Maybe a joke. “Or a girl.”
“Except you’re not gay,” Aunt Donna says.
Okay, I just need to get moving before I decide to skip the whole shower entirely. Dolores is right, though. I may not know what to say exactly, but I need to give Ethan some kind of answer. I’m not being fair to him. I hold my gift bag in front of me like a shield. “I’m not.”
Unfortunately, it attracts too much attention. “What’s that?” Aunt Donna’s looking at me like I’m a chubby mouse and she’s a starved barn cat.
I decide to hide it behind my dress, because there’s no good way for me to explain how I got this blanket. “It’s a baby shower. I have to take a gift.”
