“I’ll take care of Evan. You go rest. I’ll keep an eye on him, so don’t worry.” I know Charlie would never willingly hurt Evan. I know this, but he’s tried to hurt me so many times, I can’t fully trust him.
Once I’m in bed, Mama puts pillows under my leg to keep it elevated. She kisses my temple and leaves.
I try to call Victoria three more times, but each time, I’m met with nothing but the sound of her voicemail. I miss her. I’d give anything to have her next to me right now, running her fingernails over my scalp. I haven’t been able to cut my hair because I love when she braids it. I won’t cut it until she agrees to let me do it.
I try her phone again, and it goes right to voice mail.
“Motherfocker!” I yell just as my door opens. It’s Charlie, carrying another tray of food. I look away, unsure of what to say. He’s like a puppy who keeps coming back after getting kicked.
“Mama insists you eat.” He puts the tray across my lap, and it does smell incredible.
“Thanks,” I manage to grumble. I expect him to leave, but he sits on the side of the bed. I pick up the spoon and taste it. It’s chicken tortilla soup, and it tastes just like what Mama would make when either one of us were sick. I eat some more, hoping he’ll leave me in peace.
“I know I’ve done some pretty awful stuff to you, Colty. And it was out of jealousy and spite.” The spoon stops halfway to my mouth, and all I can think about is how much I don’t need this right now. “I was an awful brother to you, and I’m sorry, but I would never hurt Evan. I didn’t put him in the car.” I look up, ready to punch him in the teeth. “I didn’t. He asked for donuts, and I told him I would get him some, and I went to my room to change. When I came back, he was gone, so I thought he went back to bed, but he had snuck in my car. He popped out when I was down the street and yelled surprise. That’s when I swerved and got pulled over.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. I would never lie on him. I was still drunk, but not drunk enough to do that. You got so upset, and you’ve refused to speak with me, but I just want you to know. Now, the other stuff, that’s all on me. I know I did those things to you, but I was so drunk, I don’t remember doing them. I know that’s no excuse, but I would never hurt you if I was sober. I was a jealous piece of crap, and I hope one day you’ll forgive me.” I put the spoon down, unsure of what to make of the revelation. I believe him. Part of my anger was because I felt betrayed. Betrayed because he put Evan in danger. For believing that he would never hurt my son despite our issues. I thought I had that wrong.
“Does Mama know?”
“No. If I told her, she would have told you, and I wanted it to come from me.” I nod. “I didn’t want it to be another situation where she would try to fix things between us. All that did was make things worse.”
“I believe you about Evan, but that doesn’t erase the other things you’ve done, Charlie.” He hangs his head in shame. “It doesn’t. I’m not here to make excuses, but I hope you can forgive me one day, Colty. I want you to know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, even though I don’t deserve any of it. I promise that I’ll never drink again. That’s behind me.”
I finish the soup, and Charlie sits in the room the entire time, watching me. I remember what Queen Vee said to me weeks ago. She said she’d forgive because some bad behavior wouldn’t erase all the good times. I’ve had a lot of good times with my older brother. I’ve looked up to him. We were friends until the future he thought he had was taken from him and handed to me.
“I don’t know what to say, Charlie. I do know I’m tired of being angry at you.” That’s all I can offer him right now.
He nods, and I think I see a smile spread across his face. “I’ll take whatever you can give me.”
My phone vibrates, and I grab it, only to be disappointed. It’s Robin. The source of my problems. I hit ignore and throw the phone down.
Charlie looks at the phone and then back at me.
“Robin.” That’s the only explanation I give him.
He shakes his head and says, “She’s a piece of work, that one. She could barely keep her eyes off you at her own sister’s funeral. But why isn’t your pretty lady friend here? She’s all Evan and Mama talk about. Is it because I’m here?”
I wish I drank because I could use a strong one right now. “She’s not here because I’m an idiot and I mucked it up. She’s not here because of me. It has nothing to do with you.”
This is the longest conversation we’ve had in years, so he’s going to prolong it as long as possible.
“Time to turn on the Chastain charm. If that doesn’t work, send flowers. Or jewelry or maybe even a fur coat. Women love fur coats. Chocolates too.”
“A fur coat, Charlie? Really? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” I shake my head at his stupidity. “That would only piss her off. I need to go to her, but this darn knee.” I try to get up, but he puts a hand on my shoulder, keeping me in place.
“Maybe I can help,” he offers.
“Can you build a time machine so I can go back in time and not be so stupid?” I reach for one of my crutches and toss it to the floor. It crashes, and I put my head in both hands. “I really screwed up. I hurt her. She’s going to put up a wall higher and bigger than the first one I had to climb. And that’s the best case scenario.”
He makes a face, and I’d laugh if my situation wasn’t so dire. The door to my bedroom crashes open, and Mama walks in.
“What is the meaning of this?” She shoves the phone in my face. It’s a text exchange between her and Vickie, but it’s the last thing Vickie texted that made my stomach drop to my feet. “She broke up with you. I told you pushing her away wasn’t a good idea, but you never listen. You always think you know everythang.” She walks out, slamming the door behind her.
When I try to get up, Charlie puts the tray down and holds me for support.
“You need to rest so you can heal. You have to be ready for physical therapy.”
