“I need to go to Vickie.”
“Are you crazy? You can’t go travelin’ right now. Look, I’ll go find her and bring her here, but you can’t go.” I let out a humorless laugh and shake my head.
“She’d kill you in two point five seconds.”
FORTY-THREE
I shutdown my computer for the final time today. It was another day where I got nothing done. Colt keeps calling, and I keep ignoring his calls, but I can’t keep doing that. I need to tell him that we’re over, especially since I received an email telling me I’ve been accepted to teach in Mexico for a year. Someone dropped out, and the position is open to me. They’ll expedite my visa and give me a place to stay.
I’ve already accepted. This was something I’ve always wanted to do, and now is the perfect opportunity. Maybe this breakup between me and Colt happened for a reason. I don’t know if I would have given this up.
He never would have asked you to. He would have made it work. He would have puffed his chest out in pride at your accomplishment.
That might be true, but I’m not going to let a man push me away whenever things aren’t going perfectly in life. I might not have wanted to be in a relationship, but I know how a functional one works. I’ve seen it every day for years between my father and stepmother.
I’ve already been blindsided once, and I was a child who had zero control over anything. That’s not the case now. So, when the phone rings and Colt’s name flashes across the screen, I accept his FaceTime request.
The first thing I notice is how haggard he looks. His hair is a mess. The dark curls are full and now reach his ears. He hasn’t shaved either. He smiles when he sees me. It’s a smile full of happiness and relief, but I don’t find it in me to smile back.
“Hey, beautiful.” His eyes light up while he looks at me, and as much as I want to, I can’t look away. “God, I’ve missed you so much, Queen Vee. I was an idiot. I’m sorry.”
I almost want to laugh. Almost. The abandoner always thinks that one apology will erase all the damage they’ve caused. Gerald, even though I didn’t love him, thought he could waltz back into my life with nothing but an “I’m sorry”. Mother’s never once bothered to so much as offer an explanation, never mind an apology.
Now, there’s Colt. A man who chased after me, convinced me to be with him, promised me things I didn’t even know I wanted, only to push me away when things got hard. Now, he’s here, giving me a lame apology as if I’m supposed to be grateful.
“I’m glad you called, Colt,” I begin. He sobers up, and the smile leaves his face.
“Well, I’ve been callin’ and callin’. Listen, baby—”
“No, you listen. I got accepted to teach in Mexico. Someone pulled out at the last minute, and they’ve offered me his spot. I’ve accepted.”
The room goes deathly quiet. His eyes nearly bug out of his head, and the tension in the kitchen becomes palpable.
“Without talkin’ to me first, Victoria? You accept a job that takes you out of the country for an entire year.”
I scoff at his audacity. “Yeah, I did. We’re not married. I can do whatever the hell I want, just like you.”
I think I see a little color in his cheeks. I see something flash through his eyes like I’ve never seen before. He’s angry.
“For your sake, Colt, that flash of anger I just saw better not be directed at me.”
“Who the hell else, Victoria? Who the hell else am I going to be angry at?”
“Be careful. You don’t want Mama to come wash your mouth out with soap,” I taunt. “And if you want to be angry at someone, look in the goddamn mirror.”
He looks around the room, then he gets up and walks away. I hear a door open and close. He positions himself somewhere, and I see a mahogany headboard behind him.
“I do blame myself, but can you put yourself in my shoes for a minute? I lost us the game. I injured my knee. My entire career is hanging by a thread.”
“Right. And you push me away. I was expendable. You go home with your mother and son, and you expect me to sit around, wringing my hands until you’re ready for me. Well, fuck that. You picked the wrong woman if that’s what you want. Maybe Robin will put up with that, but Victoria won’t.”
We stare at each other until he says, “Nothing happened between me and Robin. We took the kids out a few times. You know it’s important that Evan spend time with his sister. I didn’t ask her to come to the hospital. She showed up on her own, and I told her I didn’t want her to stay.”
All I can think about is that he had the people he wanted there. Maybe he didn’t invite Robin, but she was still there when he shut me out.
“How did she know when and where?” I ask him. He looks down, but when he looks up again, I see something in his eyes I can’t read.
“She asked me when we were with the kids. I thought it was just conversation.”
