* * *
“I’m Victoria Taylor,”I say over a very strong margarita. “I don’t do relationships. I’m the one who walks away from men, not the other way around. I don’t catch feelings, and one pretty smile and one dimple later, I’m in a relationship with a celebrity athlete, single father. From Alabama of all places. Who the hell does that? Not me!”
Tara reaches over and pushes my hair off my forehead.
“You’re human and you’re in love. Nothing wrong with that.”
“And then,” I continue as if I didn’t hear her. “And then,” I repeat for dramatic effect, “heghostsme. After I get attached to his son. After all the work I did to get the kid to warm up to me. Not tomention, practically living there with his kid and mother during those stupid playoffs or whatever the fuck they’re called. I had to watch my mouth around Mama.” I mimic his southern accent. “Fuck him.”
“Yes, fuck him,” Tara says. “But,” she pours each of us fresh drinks.
“But what?”
“Hear me out.” I roll my eyes at her and cross my arms. “Promise me you’ll hear me out.” I shrug and gesture for her to proceed. “He lost the last game, and he probably feels responsible because he’s the one who missed the last shot. And he hurt his knee and needs surgery. Maybe he didn’t want you to see him like that. Maybe he’s angry and scared and didn’t want to take it out on you. I’m not saying it's right or that it makes sense but put yourself in his shoes for a second. I don’t think we can ever understand. We’re not athletes. We can never understand having that much on our shoulders.” She grabs my hands. “Be patient.”
“I have no patience left. He was with another woman, Tara. He didn’t want me there, but there are pictures on the internet with him and another woman. They are out with the kids having fun while I was here pining and worrying about him. I had rearranged my plans to include him and then he cuts me out. No one cuts me out. No one walks out on me. Not anymore.” The last two words leave my mouth before I can think them through. Mother’s abandonment is not something we talk about.
“That’s his dead wife’s sister. She probably brought Evan’s sister to spend time with him. I’m positive it’s nothing. He loves you, Vick.” I shake my head, refusing to heed her words.
* * *
My phone buzzes,and it’s a text from Gerald. I pick it up to delete, but the picture he just sent to me gets my attention. It’s Colt, and it looks like he’s in front of a medical center. His mother is there, along with an older woman with long, stringy hair. But right there is Robin, holding on to one of his hands. Another picture comes through showing her hugging him. He has his arms wrapped around her, hugging her back. She presses herself against his chest, and she’s smiling.
Those are my arms that are wrapped around another woman. She’s putting her head on the chest I’ve gotten used to. I’m the one who should be there wrapped around him and offering solace before his surgery, but I’m not because he abandoned me. He got on a plane with his mother and son and left me behind. He took the people he wanted and left the one he didn’t. I put the phone down and return to my packing. Once I’m done and have my bags by the front door, I pick up my phone and forward the pictures to Colt. I search social media and find the pictures I saw a few days ago and forward those to him as well.
Me: Go to hell.
FORTY-TWO
I haven’t uttereda single word since leaving my private floor of the hospital. I’ve only been gone thirty-six hours, but it might as well have been thirty-six million years. It doesn’t help that Charlie is still in my house when I return. He’s in the kitchen stirring something in a large pot. If I had any appetite, it would smell good.
Once I sit on the couch, Mama brings the ottoman and I extend my leg on a bed of pillows. The pain in my knee is a welcome relief to everything else I’m feeling right now. Evan fusses over me, but I tell him to go change for his swimming lesson. All I want to do is be alone and wallow in my own self-pity. I look at the phone again. I’d let out a string of expletives if Mama wasn’t nearby. I can feel her eyes on me now. She’s angry with me too but too worried to express it. At least for the moment.
“Do you need any pain pills?” She puts a pillow behind my back and pushes my hair off my forehead like she did when I was a kid. “You look flushed.”
I shake my head at her and press Queen Vee on my phone. Just like before, it goes right to voicemail.
“Queen, can you please call me so we can talk? It’s not what you think. I can explain those pictures. I know it looks bad, and I know you wanted to be there for me. I was stupid, Vee. I’m sorry. Can you –” The phone clicks and I hear a busy signal. I toss the phone and lean against the pillow behind me.
Mama looms over me with her lips pursed in disapproval.
“Charlie, what smells so good? Maybe you can bring some for your brother.” She walks away. If she wasn’t angry with me, she’d be sitting next to me, holding my hand, and saying everything in her power to make me feel better.
A few minutes later, Charlie approaches with a tray and a bowl with steam coming from the top. He puts it on my lap, and the smell hits, making my stomach growl. It looks like a type of bisque, and as hungry as I am, all I want to do is toss it against the wall. But I don’t do that. Evan has a clear view of me from the pool, but since I can’t take my anger out on the bowl, I take it out on Charlie.
“What are you still doing in my house, Charlie? You can have the run of the other house I bought our mother. I don’t need you here. And I don’t want this. Get it away.” I try to lift the tray and it slips from my hand, crashing onto the tile floor. The bowl shatters and the liquid glides along the tile.
A sense of shame and embarrassment so strong takes me, I start to shake. I remember the words Vickie said to me the night she told me she loved me. She said my kindness was one of the things she loves about me, and right now, I’m not worthy of her love. I hang my head in disgust.
“Colton Chastain, I did not raise you to be unkind,” Mama says from across the room. “I know you have—”
“It’s okay, Mama,” Charlie says. He bends down and picks up the broken porcelain. “I’ll go if you don’t want me here. I understand why you don’t, but it’s just that I don’t do so well alone. I start thinkin’ and—” He stands and shakes his head. “I’ll clean this up and go.”
I rub a hand over my face to hide from Mama’s probing eyes. I’m sure she’s as ashamed of me as I am of myself. Whatever issues we have, I don’t want Charlie to spiral out of control. He can’t be alone, or he’ll fall into temptation.
“Charlie, wait. I didn’t mean to snap at you. You can stay, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten anythang. And I meant what I said. I don’t want you alone with Evan.” He nods, and I can see the relief in his eyes. I stand on my good leg and grab my crutches.
“Mama, when the nurse gets here, can you please let me know. When Evan’s done with his lesson, send him to my room so I can give him a bath.” She runs over and offers me her body as support.
